Listen To My Words
by Jaspa'sColorGuardqt
Summary: When Bella mistakedly has sex with another man, she takes down an entire family with her. Can her husband Edward withstand the pressures from his family and the other man as they try to make things right? AH/OOC
1. It Just Happened

Listen To My Words

Chapter 1

"It Just Happened"

**Okie dokie I had this idea of a story and I just couldn't get rid of it….hopefully its good :/**

Music is pounding everywhere. Almost as if you can see the waves through the air as it travels through people's eardrums and back out. I trudge my way sloppily through people spilling my drink as I go about. I try to turn around when someone called my name, but I was too drunk to be able to turn coordinately. I giggle as I slowly fall onto the floor and even more of my drink spilled on me and onto the floor. I look around the dark figures moving to the music. How their bodies slowly and somewhat erotically move with the music and blurred sounds come out of their mouths as they talk in some weird language. I laugh once more and try to stand up and fail. I hear a weird laughter from someone close to me, but as the time goes on I notice it is me laughing and giggling with subtle hiccups throughout. Somehow I'm hoisted up by a pair of strong arms, up onto their back. I laugh hysterically because it's like I'm a helicopter. Flying over New York City.

The large man starts talking to me, "Bella, you need to control yourself. You can't be lying on the floor. You don't know what's been on it." I don't understand what he says. But I nod in agreement. He seems nice. "Bella? Can you hear me? I said you need to stay here in this room, okay? Don't let anybody in, unless you know them."

I rapidly nod my head as if I understood his weird language.

A beautiful goddess stepped into the doorway, "Em, she's not going to understand you. She's drunk off her rocker. Look at her. Tell her to stop looking at me like that." She started to glare at me.

"Mmm, you look like sex on legs," I giggled with delight. The large man burst out laughing.

"I swear, how does Edward even deal with her?" Sex-on-legs walked out the door with the large man trailing after her. I locked the door just like they told me to, but after awhile I became bored. I wonder what would be so bad about unlocking the door and letting someone in. Would I get hurt or will they give me something to drink? Ooh I really want a drink. Maybe if I just prop the door open and ask someone for a drink, they'll get me one and I could still be locked in here. Why do I have to be locked in here? The floor was comfortable out there to. I skip towards the bed and bounce on it for awhile, but as before I get bored. Why do I have to be in here alone? With a bed. I can get Edward in here! He'll be fun. We always have fun.

I hop onto the floor and unlock the door. Something in the back of my head tells me to keep the door locked but I can't focus on it with all the alcohol in my system. I slowly open the door and peer out. Everyone looks like they're having fun. Why am I in here while everyone is out there? I look around the crowd and I see the large man dancing with sex-on-legs. Edward and I could be doing that. I swing open the door and take one step out of the doorway. I pause and look for Edward. I spot him, but he's dancing with another girl. I stomp over to him without thinking.

"Edward, what do you think you're doing," I slur. He looks up at me with a confused expression. "You're supposed to be with me so we can have fun. Together. In that room." He looks from me to the room, and a grin appears on his face.

"Sure,honey. April, you stay here I'll be back, doll" He gives her a quick peck on the cheek. Why would he do something like that? He's mine. I guess he needs to learn that. I lean in towards him and give him a passionate kiss. I quickly grab him by the collar and drag him into the room. I glance around the room and I see another guy that looks like my Edward glare at me. That was weird. Probably the alcohol is wearing off.

We walk into the room and I quickly peek back outside the door to make sure the large man is still on the other side of the house. As I lock back the door, Edward is on the bed unbuckling his belt, when I stop him.

"I'll do that for you later," I giggled, "but first, can you get me another drink?" I look at him seductively and climb on the bed next to him.

"Uh, yeah…sure," He gets up and walks out the room. I start to undress and then I plop back onto the bed. I sigh. I can't wait for Edward to come here so I can do fun stuff with him. **(A/N Okay, this is my first time writing a lemon let alone it being the first chapter of a new story :/) **Hee hee. We're going to have fun.

I heard a knock on the door and Edward entered with my drink.

"Oh! Well look at you with nothing on," Edward said. Again I couldn't really understand what he was saying but it wasn't as bad as before.

"Can I have my drink?" I asked, winking at him.

"Yeah but hurry, I'm ready for this," He referred to pants and started to take off his shirt.

I quickly finished my drink and the fun really started. He got on top of me and started placing small kisses up and down my neck.

It was all a fog. Almost a black out.

"Bella open up! It's Edward! Who the fuck is in there with you?"

I couldn't form a sentence, I couldn't even keep my eyes open, I couldn't even remember where I was.

"Well, I guess our fun is over then and by the way my name is Jared. Not that Edward shit you keep calling me," Jared pulled out and then put on his clothes.

_Not that Edward shit you keep calling me. _I didn't get it. He's not Edward? Then who was?

He opened the door and I heard yelling going on outside the door. My consciousness was fading in and out. After what seemed awhile, I was in a car. I saw lights flash past me and a just the hum of the car. I slowly turned my head towards Edward.

"What am I doing here?" I asked hoarsely.

Edward snorted and stayed silent. He slowly shook his head and continued driving. Another thirty minutes passed before we arrived in our winding driveway. Edward shut off the engine and sighed. After a few more minutes he turned towards me. He looked me into the eyes and then looked away. When he finally looked back at me his green eyes that were usually vibrant were stone cold. His beautiful lips turned down in disgust.

"I'm going to be staying at my parent's house for the next few days to figure out what we're going to do. How our future is going to plan out. "

I couldn't understand why he would want to leave me. I don't remember doing anything that would make him angry or furious with me. That would make him want to move away from me.

"Why are you leaving? What did I do?" I pleaded with him. Why would he leave me?

Edward sighed and opened the car door and got out to go inside the house. Was he serious? I watched him unlock the front door and slam the front door shut. The car light went out and I sat in the darkness. I tried to remember what we did this day but to be honest I couldn't remember anything. My hands started shaking as to what I could've done to make him want to leave. I opened the door and walked up to the front door. Hesitantly, I opened the front door and walked into our house. My feet quietly stepped onto the tiled floor and I placed my shoes next to the stairs. I looked up at the balcony to see if he was upstairs, but I heard a clatter of glasses from the kitchen. I took another deep breath and walked towards him. Rounding the corner to the kitchen, I saw him exit the wine cooler room with a bottle of Vodka and a large glass. He placed the items on the counter and filled the glass nearly to the top. I sat at the bar in front of him and studied his face. He looked stressed. It was hard to understand how he was feeling because he wouldn't even face me.

"Edward, why are you leaving?" He continued drinking his vodka. Downing it with huge gulps.

"Edward, please talk to me. What happened? Is it work?" I got up and walked over to him and placed my hand over his arm. He jerked his arm away from me and slammed his glass on the counter. The sound echoed throughout our quiet house.

"Stop it, Isabella! What the fuck makes you think that I would actually want you near me after what happened tonight? Are you messed up in the head or something?" He yelled at me.

I stuttered, I tried to form words, but nothing came out.

"You can try and fool yourself into thinking that you did nothing wrong, but I know what happened and I'm not fucking stupid. I'm leaving," He washed his glass out and shoved the vodka bottle into my hands, "You might want some of this since I guess you're that type of party girl."

I unable to stop looking at him with confused eyes. I couldn't stop opening and closing my mouth. I could feel tears brimming in my eyes. I put the bottle down and I raced upstairs after Edward.

"Edward! Edward, please don't leave! I don't know what happened. I really don't. I don't know why you don't believe me. I don't know what happened today or I just…" I couldn't stop crying. I broke out into sobs and fell onto the floor within the doorway of our bedroom.

"You can't leave me! What did I do? Edward, please talk to me. I love you and you can't leave me because of nothing! Baby! Please!" Sobs racked my body and I was nearly hyperventilating, "Edward. I love you. Why are you doing this?" He came out of our closet with a couple bags packed full of clothes. I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up to him and I fell on him, clinging on to him for dear life. He kept trying to pry my hands off of his shirt. He pushed me off of him. I couldn't control my body and I flopped onto the floor. I grabbed anything of him. His shoes, his bags, and pants. Anything that would make him stay just a little bit longer.

"Isabella, stop! You're making a fool out of yourself. Just let me go! Let go of my bags." He gave a final shove and walked down the stairs. I lay on the floor panting and crying, trying to get a hold of myself. He couldn't leave me. I heard then front door shut. I couldn't let him leave. I raced down the stairs and swung open the front door. Edward was just closing the trunk of his car and was now about to get inside his car.

"Edward!" I yelled with all my might and ran down the steps to his car, "Please don't do this! At least tell what I did! Please! You can't leave me!"

Edward started the engine and put the car in reverse.

The window rolled down, "Isabella, get away from the car and go inside!"

"No! I love you and I can't let you leave me!"

With that he pulled out of the driveway. No matter how far I ran after the car, no matter how much I tried to hang onto the car, and no matter how loud I screamed his name, he left. I fell onto my knees outside our gate and watched him turn down the street. The sound of his car's screeching tires fade into the night.

He was right. I made of fool of myself.

I went upstairs into our bathtub to try and clear up my thought process.

In with that I went to sleep.


	2. Day After

Listen To My Words

Chapter 2

"Day After"

_Pound. Pound. Pound. Pound. _I grabbed my throbbing head and tried to squeeze with all my might. I tried to force out the hard toxins that rushed through my blood and affected my brain. I tried to force out the burning light that flooded into the room with astonishing force. And most of all I tried to force out the memory of last night. The memory of Edward leaving me. The painful feeling in my chest when I saw him pull out onto the corner. The stinging in my throat from the heart-tugging screams and sobs that racked my body. The emptiness that surrounded me, suffocated me to the point that I would want do anything from taking another glass to suicide to release me from this pain.

I grabbed the sheets forcefully and thrashed them off of my body. I took a few forceful breaths and regained my composure that would enable me to take a few aspirins and try and figure out how I was survive my first day without Edward. My first day without Edward ever. We've never been apart. Not permanently or temporarily. We've never had to separate or take a break. I've always had him. Had him by my side. Waiting for. As was I by his side waiting for him. I walked out onto the patio to get a breath of fresh air. The first breath I took was like smoke going into a newborn's lungs. Pouring acid onto a fragile metal tower that held my heart on a pedestal. I hugged my legs as I once again tried to control my breathing. Then I heard a car pull up to the gate and open the garage. A small ounce of my heart wanted it be Edward. No. That is a lie. All of my heart desired, craved, and needed the car pulling up to be Edward. A car is pulling up? I slowly placed my feet on the floor, and walked back towards the family room. As I placed a foot into the doorway, I heard the front door open and the small jingle of keys. My heart picked up again. My vision started to blur at the thought of maybe everything that happened last night was just a dream and Edward was really, all along, buying me coffee as he does on morning after partying. I awoke out of my thoughts to a deep voice accompanied by a woman's melodic voice. I quietly closed the door as they closed the front door. My eyes enlarged as I tried to see who they were around the plants on one of the curio cabinets. Her footsteps echoed as she whispered to the man.

"…he hasn't said any reason why-," She hastily whispered.

"There's no reason why he would say. He was pissed. No, he was hostile last night," The man stated. I placed my feet securely around the base boards of the wall. Out of sight, out of mind. Maybe they wouldn't check very far into the house and head upstairs.

I heard another shuffle from the high heels and then heard them head up the tiles stairs. Each step echoing off the walls. I don't really know why I'm hiding from them. To really think about it, it's pretty infantile, but then again I couldn't face them. Somewhere in my subconscious, I felt guilty. For what? I have no clue. I then started to formulate reasons why I should hide from them. I'm pretty sure I look like shit. Secondly, the bathroom is a mess. After taking a bath and realizing that I couldn't stay in there crying and pruning as the seconds passed I got up, without a single thought about what the water would be like in the morning.

Once I heard the reluctant steps from Jasper follow Alice upstairs, I creeped up the stairs as well.

"Look at the bedroom, Jazz. It's wrecked. What really happened here?" The bedroom didn't look that bad, there was sprawled out clothes lying on the floor and yes I may have drunkenly swung items onto the floor but it was understandable. I was under emotional stress. I had to express myself somehow.

"Well, it's not like they physically fought or anything," Jasper mumbled. He picked up a picture off of the floor. "Damn. It's cracked, Alice." Alice walked up to Jasper and touched the frame.

Alice whispered, "Their wedding photo."

"You guys aren't supposed to be here," I stated.

They turned around slowly. Jasper jerked a little when I had spoken. He placed the picture frame onto the bed and slowly walked towards me.

"Bella, we're just here to help," He spoke in a soft tone. On the other hand Alice had a hard expression on her face. Her blue eyes frozen solid sending death sticks of ice into my eyes.

"Jasper, don't lie to her. Bella, we're here to get some stuff of Edward's."

Edward wouldn't be coming back? "What does he need? Why couldn't he come here himself?"

Jasper whispered to Alice and then, with a roll of the eyes from Alice, spoke, "He doesn't want to come here."

Alice snorted. "He can't stand to be in your presence, but then again who would want to be around their cheating wife."

Cheating wife? I immediately defended myself, "I never cheated on Edward and I'm telling the truth."

I watched Alice as she stared at me with a prominent dubious expression.

Alice, who was obviously fed up, walked away into the master bath. I heard the slamming and shutting drawers and things being tossed aside. I sharply looked at Jasper and ran into the bathroom.

She was tearing everything apart. She tore our towels off the rack. All the bottles from off of the counter. Emptied my makeup from my bag into the sink and turned on the faucet. Whoever she thinks she is, she's got it wrong. Edward is the one who left and I didn't. He left me. He left me with no explanation. I've tried for the past fourteen hours to try and understand why he would want to abandon this life that we had created. Everything was fine and now he's literally thrown me out of his life.

"What are you doing?" I screamed. She couldn't trash all of my stuff.

"This place looks like shit already so I might as well make look a _little_ nicer," Alice sneered at me while she turned off the water.

"It's not like I need it anyways. I can buy more." I stated.

"With Edward's money, huh?"

"What do you mean by Edward's money?"

"Everyone in the family knows that Edward makes a good 40,000 more than you. Everyone in the family knows that you love to spend money on frivolous stuff. Unnecessary shit that blows his income."

_What the hell does she mean by that? _I make a decent 60,000 dollar income that I can comfortably live with by myself. I have enough to support myself. Even _if_ Edward did really leave me. Why would they talk about me in the first place?

Jasper stepped into the room and calmly tried to reason with Alice, "You know that's not right, Alice. Nobody said anything about that."

I stood my ground, "I don't know what you have against me. I don't know why you would come in my house and come into my bathroom and ruin my belongings, but I do know that you need to get the hell out because you are no longer welcome here. Last night, I woke up in the car and tried to talk to Edward about what happened. He didn't talk to me he didn't say anything to me. I have no clue what is going on nor do I know where he is, but I am going to find out and I will, by myself, get my life into order and I would really like it if you could just muzzle it. Thank you." I stood and watched her as she stared into my eyes, proceeded to roll them, and stepped over the overturned vanity chair and walked into the closet to get some of Edward's clothes.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

I looked at Jasper.

"For Alice's behavior. It's just that she's really protective of Edward and what happened last night is still fresh in her mind."

What could've have been so bad about last night? "What happened about last night?"

"Uh..well, what do you want to know?"

"Everything, how was he? How is he?" I could hardly contain my anxiety and curiosity! How was he? I wonder if he's shaved recently so I could run my hand across his smooth jaw. Then kiss him sweetly on his jaw line.

"Alice and I were at her parent's house when Edward literally stormed in and slammed the door, walked into the kitchen and sat down and pinched his nose like he does and wouldn't talk for the next hour or so. We were just asking him questions and we gave him some time to calm down. Now Bella, I'm sorry, but I believe Edward and what he told us," Jasper paused and looked down at his hands taking a deep breath, "Did you or did you not have sex with another man?"

The second he finished his question my heart skipped a million beats. I couldn't breathe and my eyebrows scrunched together in horror. I opened my mouth the defend myself yet again but as I took a breath in I was flooded with memories.

I looked at Jasper.

_You're supposed to be with me so we can have fun. Together. In that room. _

I suddenly gasped at the thought.

I felt a cold sweat appear on my brow.

"_Bella open up! It's Edward! Who the fuck is in there with you_?"

Tears brimmed my eyes.

_Jared._

I choked on my words that desperately tried to flood out of my mouth, but all I could do was look at Jasper's eyes that slowly showed his understanding of what happened that night.


	3. Flooding

Listen To My Words

Chapter 3

"Flooding"

What happened last chapter:

_Jared._

_I choked on my words that desperately tried to flood out of my mouth, but all I could do was look at Jasper's eyes that slowly showed his understanding of what happened that night. _

Jasper awkwardly looked away out the window and shifted his feet out in front of him. It's as if the air in the small space around Jasper and I not only thickened but froze into a paralyzing state. Almost as if liquid nitrogen was being pour through my nostrils, flooded my lungs, and stabbed my heart. I once again tried to regain my composure and close my gaping mouth. My heart beat raised as I cautiously locked eyes with Jasper's. I watched as his blue eyes harden slightly. I don't blame him though. He telepathically understood. Telepathically read what my mind just pieced together. He knew enough to answer his own and now my question.

_Did you or did you not have sex with another man?_

I'm not sure anymore. All my doubts faded into the foggy areas that flooded my memory.

Jasper shifted his feet one more and looked away, "Bella, why?"

Why.

That's a good question.

I slowed my rapidly increasing heart rate and explained my situation, "Jasper, I'm sorry…"

Jasper became somewhat livid. "Sorry! Don't tell me sorry! Tell Edward."

A tear slid down my cheek, "That's not what I was going to say!"

My anger sky-rocketed but almost simultaneously I remember that I need to calmly tell what little I know. "I was going to say I'm sorry that I can't tell you much of that night. I don't remember! I don't know how many times to how many people that I have to tell them I don't remember. Just glimpses. I was drunk that night. But I wasn't that drunk that I wouldn't remember something to a level like what happened." Or would I? I don't know.

Jasper gave a long sigh. He rubbed his face, "I tried. This is getting to me. I need to leave."

His shoulders slouched as he again shook his head. He had an aura of defeat that he breathed in and out. He seemed to realize that the place that Edward and I are in is trickier than anyone could have imagined. It's so difficult to solve because of the amount of emotions that are flooding in and out confuses everyone. Just remembering the night he left makes me think if this will ever be solved. If we will ever be back together. If that one night will continue to haunt me. To haunt Edward. To haunt our marriage.

After they left I honestly didn't' know what to do with myself. I contemplated sitting down in a dark room to try and get myself to remember what happened, but my own soul was afraid of what really happened. That is when I realized it. This will never get any better if I'm unable to think of what happened. To think of what possessed me to do what I supposedly did. But then again, how could I know what I did when I haven't even spoken to Edward. He hasn't told me anything. He hasn't told me what he saw exactly. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I don't know why I'm even here. I guess I've never felt so hopeless before.

So I sat there.

Because there was nothing I felt I was worth enough to do. I don't know why I feel this way. Somehow my subconscious is telling me that I don't deserve certain things. That I'm not good enough.

I would just wallow in my self-disgust for the next day…week…month until Edward takes me back. But of course what does sitting here ever do. He always said that he only hated two kinds of people. Liars and people that don't help themselves. Supposedly I'm both of those things to him. I've, in such a short amount of time, broken the trust that has kept our love for each other strong for God knows how long. I can't help but think back onto how I got myself into this mess. How I put us into this situation. How I…

The doorbell rang.

My instinct was always to look up at the clock above our mirror in our bedroom. Or should I say, my bedroom.

_3:21 PM_

Suprising. A whole hour has gone by of me doing absolutely nothing. An hour of Edward probably just maybe thinking about me. Thinking about what how he has to deal with me. About where he went wrong in his judgment of marrying me. On how he was so foolish to marry such a girl that would…

The doorbell rang twice and was quickly followed by three sharp knocks.

I lifted myself off the bed and tried to think of who would be coming to the house. I quickly ruled out any chance it would be Edward. The only chance he would come to the house is if he lost all sanity in his mind. As I gazed into the peep hole by heart gave way and stopped short of giving me a heart attack. I never in a million years would have thought that this man would come here again. At least not in this lifetime.

I tried to swallow but my sudden dry mouth made me nearly choke. It nearly made me choke on the anxiety that came rushing into my mind that pranced and laughed at the overpowering load that I had to endure. Each and every second I had to breathe.

"Bella? Jasper called me. He said that things were rough. That I should talk to you."

His voice echoed in my mind. I tried to swallow as I brushed my hair behind my ears. I ran my hands through it while I checked my face in the hallway mirror.

Five loud bangs echoed through the hall.

"Bella?"

I slowly walked over to the door, "Jacob?"

His name hasn't ran been in my mouth for almost two years. He hasn't been in my train of thought for almost three. My heart felt mended inside. Almost as if a blanket was placed over it.

"Bella." He breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Jacob, what are you doing here?" Jasper called him. I know that. But the Cullens never talked to Jacob. Jacob never talked to the Cullens. It's not like they hated each other or anything, they just didn't have anything in common. Every special occasion we had they were on different sides of the room as if, invisibly, they were repelled by each other. Destined to never cross the same path at the same time.

"I told you. Jasper told me to come by. Please open up."

My mind was suddenly incoherent, "Why would you listen to Jasper?"

"He said you were going through a rift with Edward."

_Edward. _His name pierced my heart again and again. Suffocated me as if to cause noticeable discomfort.

My voice hardened, "What did he tell you?" I tried to keep my voice calm but I couldn't help but feel shaken up.

"That's what he told me. He told me you guys were going through some problems."

I snorted. Problems. Some problems. Does Jasper think he's doing me some sort of favor? Sending over Jacob to help comfort me in my solitary confinement?

"Why would you listen to him? We've had problems before. He hasn't called you. Even if you did, you wouldn't come and talk to me. You wouldn't dare step in between my marriage."

"Bella, please let me in." He pleaded with me. My curiosity took the best of me and I looked into the peep hole. He was leaned up against the door, his hands in his pocket.

"Only if you tell me this: Why did you really come here?"

He looked into the peephole, "Only if you let me in."

And then he grinned.

My heart fluttered at his grin. The grin that made me weak in my knees. The grin that made me open the door.

He looked fitter than before. Stronger. As if his male body finally stepped up and performed at its best. I couldn't help but look over him in awe.

Unfortunately, of the moments that I was captivated by him, he was captivated by me. Not by my hair that has grown longer, more wavy. He took in my hair that was knotted, my eyes that haven't caught an ounce of sleep and my heart that dimmed every time I took a breath. He walked through the door and took a step towards me. Taken aback I took a step away from him. Why did I feel this way? I don't even know why he is here. Everything is so confusing.

Jacob took another step towards me and reached out his arms and enclosed me in them. I inhaled his scent. Memories flooded in as if I'd never see them again. I couldn't help but try to choke back a sob. They overwhelmed me. I collapsed into his arms. Crying, screaming, nearly hysterical at the thought that Edward was not here, but yet Jacob was.

Jacob walked me to the kitchen and sat at one of the barstools. I laid my head down onto the cold kitchen top and pondered. I pondered about how I must look in his eye. Jacob's that is. I feel embarrassed. I must look like a fool that is locked up in her own house. He hasn't seen me in three years and this is what he comes back to? I feel guilty for dragging him into my problems. For not helping myself. I have no clue how I could possibly face him again. How I could lift my eyes to look into his. I'm helpless. My husband left me for sleeping with another man. A man that I don't even remember having sex with. I have no idea how I can get myself out of this mess.

_Clink._

Within the moments of my personal thoughts Jacob made coffee. French Vanilla Coffee to be exact. My favorite or it used to be my favorite before _he _introduced me to another kind. Arabic iced tea. I say _he _because the word….Edward... is nearly too hard to bare. My eyes start to water yet again and Jacob places his hand on my shoulder but too soon takes it off.

I look up at him. I watch how his face turns into a blurred, watery picture. How his eyes become somewhat grim and sympathetic. Something in my heart switches my emotions. I become angry. Angry about how he feels he has to come and comfort because I can't help myself.

He opens his mouth, "What happened? I'm…"

I cut him off before he tries to console me, "Did Jasper put you up to this?"

He becomes shocked. "Wh..Why do you ask that?"

"Just answer my question. Did you come here because you don't think that I can take care of myself?"

His eyes enlarged, "No! Why are you even asking this Bella?"

Why shouldn't I be asking this? I'm here sheltered in the empty mansion of a house while Edward is surrounded by family and warm arms. It makes me resent him in a way. Somewhere in my sick, delusional mind I resent him for leaving me here. I looked down at my left hand ring finger. My empty ring finger. It's almost as if right now my mind told me I could do this. With or _without_ him, but I will try to do this with him. With Edward.

"You know what Jacob? I _can _take care of myself. In fact I don't need you to be here. At all."

He looked away and his eyes softened as did his tone, "I came here because I wanted to _help_ a friend. A friend whom I haven't seen in almost three years. "

Three years. He turned his face towards me, looking over my head.

"Three years I have been away from the one person that I can truly let go with," Jacob sighed and looked into my eyes. "Wow, how time changes things." Jacob got up from his barstool and wiped his hands on his pants. He started to walk out of the kitchen with defeat. He halted at the arch and turned around.

I wouldn't let him make me feel guilty. "You can continue walking. You know where the door is." I have no idea what made me just say that. I was harsh. For no reason apparent to me.

Jacob glared at me, his face turning red, "Shut up. Just stop talking Bella. Do you even understand why you're in this house? Alone? Alone in a house which you bought _with _your husband but he's not here with you? You ever wonder why?"

His words slash out at me. They rip my heart open and burn its contents alive. Right before me. He's never spoken to me like this. His words degrade be to a bit of ash. Burnt from a garbage pile. I look down because I don't understand. I look down because I refuse to understand. I can't.

"No Bella. You don't wonder why. You never wonder. Ask yourself why. It's always you and how everything has affected _you_ never anyone else. I don't know what happened between you and Edward. What he could've done to you or you done to him. But I can tell you one thing. This friendship between you and me is pure bullshit. I..I've done so many…" He stopped. He panted while trying to calm himself down. To prevent himself from saying anything else.

And with that he walked out the door. The click of the door. The slam of his car door. The repetitive screeches of tires have haunted me these past two days.

My life is a mess. Day 1 without Edward in done.


	4. Day Two

Listen To My Words

Chapter 4

"Day Two"

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _

Monday. Another day. Another hour. Another minute. Another second goes by that I question myself. But in the lonely hours of night I talked to myself. I talked to myself about what I can do. To make things better and I've come to the conclusion that I can't do anything. I can only suck it up. Why have I come to this conclusion you ask?

It is due to the fact that I remember.

_I remember._

Everything from the room, the guy, the sex.

Edward.

His eyes. His face. His reaction.

And what broke me to tears all throughout the night is the look of disgust on his face whenever he had to look at me. Whenever he had to speak to me. Anything that had to deal with me. And to be honest, I have no clue how or why he would take me home. Why he would still put up with me for that forty minute ride. Out of his love for me? Or just his morals?

It didn't matter though. What mattered is that I am here and he is there. Apart.

I sit up in bed and look onto the floor. I look at the clothes, the pictures, random papers strewn across the floor. I can't help but hold my head in my hands and grimace at my situation. How can I go to work today? How can I show my face at work? Pretend I'm happy when it will all be evident too soon. There is a company party this coming Saturday. I need to somehow make this work. And fast.

I look at the broken clock and see that it's 8:40 AM. I'm only ten minutes late for work. If I leave now I could make it in 40 minutes and only be an hour late. It's worth it. I grab a pair of black pants with a matching blazer and throw on a white tank top. My hair is literally a pig sty. I pour water in my hair and cram it into a bun while spraying hairspray. I have no clue what they are going to think of what I look like. Baggy eyes with a heavy dose of morning-breath but I can't take any more time. I jump downstairs putting on heels, pick my keys up off the floor and I'm out of the house.

As I drive down the street I can't help but feel like someone is watching me. I'm pretty sure all my neighbors heard the commotion two nights ago. I'm sure they heard me throwing things. Screaming. Crying hysterically. I made a fool out of myself, I know. But I am moving on, starting now. While I'm stopped at a stoplight I pull down my mirror and look at my teeth. They look okay but my breath is what I'm most worried about. I sigh and look around at the cars next to me. Teenage boy leaving for school on the left and an old lady gluing her dentures in on the right. Perfect morning. I think getting out of the house has already affected my mood. I feel better. Happier. Joyful even. Who knew human interaction or even exposure could lift your mood?

I pull into a parking spot and take the deepest breath of my life. It's all or nothing.

Walking into the office I feel as if my whole life story was just published front page. Or as if I was back in high school and everyone got a mass text: Isabella Cullen cheated on her husband. What a tramp.

I can't deny it. I remember. I know that I cheated on him. How could I deny it?

Rebecca's eyes have a strange glint in them this morning. I have no clue if it is because I have "Whore" written on my forehead or if I look like a complete wreck. None are positive.

She opens her mouth then closes it. Her eyes dart around the lobby and she opens her mouth. Then closes it again. Damn it. Why can't she just say what's on her mind. I knew that from the start she couldn't be forward or confident about a damn thing on her mind.

_Look at you, Bella. Now you're taking your frustrations out on the not-so-new secretary. Get a life. _

And now I'm talking to myself. Or at least more often now.

"Rebecca? How much of my meeting did I miss?"

She looks at me for a good ten seconds. Then as if a bell went off in her mind she jumped and fluttered to not only to find the answer to my question but to remember my question.

"Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! Mrs. Cullen. I'm…I'm sorry. I must have dazed and…" She fumbled about the area knocking over cups of pens and papers scattered across. _Eleven. _"You see…," _Twelve. _"I think I was in a daze and I couldn't even remember what you asked me but…um." _Twenty three. _

I simply walk away because she is a waste of time. I get to my desk and the first item I see brings me to tears. Stabs my façade right in the heart. I can no longer act calm, cool and collected when my past life is mocking me.

Edward and I's wedding picture. I quickly slam the picture down to erase any of last weekend's screaming. As it hits the glass table I hear a shatter and I fumble to pick up the broken piece.

_Two Becomes One._

The steel words fall of the framing and I crush them into my chest. I hold onto to them for dear life as I try to not cry. As I try not to weep. No. As I try not to scream out in pain. Discomfort. Grief, for the one that I miss so dearly. I can't be here. I know I will not be able to last the entire day.

A sharp knock comes from my door and Elana bursts into my office. I don't turn around to face her.

"Where the hell have you been?" She's furious. I can tell by the knives that try to stab me though the tone of her voice.

I whisper, "I got here as fast as I could and-." She cuts me off.

"Bullshit. I called you three times. Called your house phone seven times but I guess you pulled the plug."

"I disconnected it yesterday. Things happened-."

"Well of course you damn did. Do you know how important this meeting is? I even called Edward."

His name strikes my heart. My head jolts back and nearly causes me to look at Elana.

"Yeah. It's that serious that I would even try to call him. At least he knows how to pick up his fucking phone! He said he said he'd be the last know where you are. Are you playing some kind of hookey? We have big corporate people in there, Isabella. Who do you think you are? Get the fuck in there!"

She called Edward? A small light flickers in a corner of my heart. I wonder what he sounded like. Did he go to work this morning or was he taking the day off? Or if he was taking the day off, was he still sleeping? Or was he eating breakfast the Esme cooked him? Or was he with Emmett working out? So many unanswered questions that I had for him. I wish I knew.

My chair swings around before I even know it. Elana's expression goes from furious to concerned. She is actually concerned. Or well…was. Her emotions harden as she tells me I better straighten the _fuck up _or my job is toast.

I wipe my eyes and I put the broken pieces onto my desk. I stand up, straighten my blazer and walk out my office doors.

Elana walks closely behind me and nearly shoves me into the conference room. I look around at seven annoyed faces. Three of those faces are looking at the watch or their phone, wishing they were someplace else.

"Hi, I'm sorry for the significant time delay. There were some communication issues. But I definitely want to start off as to why you want to pick our firm." I scan the faces of the CEO's and I come across a face that makes me want to crawl into a hole. It makes me stop right in my tracks. I can't even remember what I was going to say. "Well...um..we have a high standard to start off. Um…to start off with. Why don't I tell you our plan? Yes. I'll do that."

I fumble with pointer as I wait for Elana to pull up the powerpoint. I swallow my astonishment and turn back to the audience.

"We'll help your firm increase their funds or well um…finances by at least 15% or no more than 15%. No! I mean more…more than 15% by decreasing the amount of people working? It all works out by the numbers." I run my hand over my hair and look down at my feet.

"Excuse me but how is our firm going to increase in money when you cut down our workers by over 45%. It says so, on the eighth screen I believe?"

I flashback .

"_It's your choice,"_

I couldn't stop myself from them from flooding in.

"_I want you,"_

Was this really happening to me right now?

"_Bella open up! It's Edward! Who the fuck is in there with you?" _

Why is this happening now? Why is he here?

I need to get out. Now.

"I'm sorry!" I scream out. Not at the audience or at Elana but at Edward. I yell sorry at him somewhere in mind. To wherever he is. I can't look up at them. I run my hands over my hair once more and walk out the office. Elana screams my name but I shut the conference door and bolt. I quickly run to my office and once I'm inside I lock the door. I'm hyperventilating. Everything about the _night _comes crashing into my head. Almost like a virus eating away at me. I close the blinds and sink down to the floor.

_Come on, Bella. Get a hold of yourself. You need this. You need Edward. Come on. You can't do this now._

I'm talking to myself again. I can't go back in there. Not after that.

_But if you leave you're going to ruin everything. Literally everything. You're going to lose your house._

Stop.

_Your job._

Stop it, I'm serious.

_Edward._

I scream out. I can't do this.

_You've been saying can't a lot. You should try doing something._

"Shut up!" I scream out loud and I kick my desk. My heart is racing. Nearly pounding out of my chest to escape.

I'm leaving.

I gather my bag and swing open the door. Kyle, the messenger, nearly drops my mail when he sees my condition. I come to a halt.

"Mrs. Cullen!" Why does everyone seem to be so surprised to see me? I'm starting to get rather annoyed at enlarging of the eyes. The opening and closing of mouths. The sheer look of horror that I could look like this on a day so important.

"Yes, Kyle?"

I watch as his Adam's apple bobs up and down while he tries to compose himself. "Mrs. Cullen. Wow. Eh.."

"What, Kyle?" I snap. I'm done with my situation. My life can't get anymore screwed up than it is.

"You look...messed up."

Or can it?

"Well, don't worry I'm not going to focus on the obvious. I just wanted to hand deliver your mail as soon as it came. I remembered this time you know? You said there was an important piece of paper that you've wanted to receive and I think this is it! Well I don't think, I know. I'm sorry! I just had to peek! You're not mad are you?"

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! Damn it. How could I forget? My day, no life, is ruined. I snatch the mail out of Kyle's hands and storm down the hall. As I pass the conference room, his eyes meet mine and he makes his way towards the door. Shit again. I turn down the nearest hallway and pick up my pace. I open the side exit door and walk down a short alley onto the street but I hear the door open again after me.

Why me?

I look over my shoulder and see he is making his way towards me.

And that is when I make the stupidest decision of my life.

I walk into the entrance of the office lobby and I'm face to face with Elana.

"Oh! Mrs. Cullen, it is great to see you! I'm so sorry about your family situation. I was just explaining this to our special guests. About your _situation_." She was covering my ass. She was actually covering my ass!

Well if I'm going to get this chance of a lifetime I mind as well play along, "Yes. I hope you guys understand that this is not the way I usually am. My sincere apologies to all of you. "

"Yes, well we seemed to have lost one," Elana laughs with the rest of the corporates, "but I'm sure we'll…oh! There he is, Mr. Dawson!" She looks over my shoulder to man standing in the doorway. "Mr. Dawson, I thought you ran away due to the crazy presentation. Mrs. Cullen was just apologizing to all of us. Weren't you, Mrs. Cullen?"

He's Mr. Dawson? I had sex with Mr. Dawson. The smile on my face fades away as I turn towards him. He catches my eyes and a smirk slowly is plastered onto his face.

I'm on the Shit List for life.

Mr. Dawson straightens his tie and says, "Oh, now Elana that won't be necessary. We were just catching up. We haven't talked in a while, isn't that right _Mrs. _Cullen?" He turns toward me as I nod at Elana. I can feel his dirty eyes scanning my entire body.

"Anyways, Elana, Mrs. Cullen and I were about to grab some coffee. Her presentation was lacking but I feel your firm may be the _one." _

Elana's eyes enlarge and a warm smile creeps upon her face. "Wow! That's great. That really is. Well at least we have one business that will be jumping onto the band wagon. I want to thank all of you guys for coming here. If you have any more questions feel free to ask me or Mrs. Cullen. We'll answer all of them. I'll show you guys to the door."

Elana walks off with the big corporates all too soon. I can feel Jared getting closer to me as the seconds tick by. Once the door closes and the lobby is clear, his lips are at my ear.

"Well well well. Mrs. Cullen, correct? Mrs. says that you're married, I assume? You've done a very dirty thing with me Isabella." His arms wrap around my shoulder and I can hear a smile on his lips. "I can't lie to your boss, now. I did say that we're going to get some coffee. Would you like it to be at your place or mine?"

I shrug his arm off my shoulder and brush my bangs behind my ear with my left hand. At that exact moment, he looks at my hand and grins.

"I guess it's your place because Mr. Cullen found out? Or well he didn't like what he saw?" Jared laughs. "Seriously, Isabella, you should give me a call. I like what I saw the other night." He backs away from my ear and kisses me on the cheek. All I could do was stand there. Stand there with my mouth formed in a perfect O and a dazed look. It was probably another two minutes after he left for me to notice I was just standing there. With my mail on the floor. I scooped them up and put them into my purse. As I looked around the lobby, my eyes locked with Rebecca. Rebecca the horrible secretary. Rebecca, who is currently on the phone, motions me towards her.

As I make my way over to her, I hear her conversation.

"Well, no no! There's no need for that really. Well you see, Mr. Cullen she is right here. Yeah she's not talking to him anymore." Crap. It's Edward? He really wants to talk to me. My emotions bubble inside. _No Bella. Not now. _But what did she mean by she's not talking to him anymore. Damn her. Can't she just say that I'm busy? "Well I can ask her. Oh! How about you talk to her? I mean she's right here." There's a pause while Edward talks and I can hear his voice bellowing through the phone. Rebecca flinches as his voice becomes harsher. "He wants to speak with you." She frowns as she hands me the phone.

I take a deep breath and put the phone up to my ear. I can't get myself to say anything.

I pause and I hear him on the other line. His voice is muffled. "No she fucking wouldn't stop...No, no one is on…I am calm…Damn…what the fuck Jas.." I can't help but smile. It's been too long since I've heard his voice. Too long since I've heard any of his family. It really does suck that he has such a large family and I have, well, me.

"Hello?" I try to get myself to say his name, but my mind acts like it's an impossible thing to say. So I just say hello. The line goes quiet.

"Hi-." He stops as if something is choking his throat. As if it is too painful to say my name. "We need to talk later today. About everything."

Everything?

"What time is best for you?"

Another pause. I hear rustling on the other side of the phone and some whispers. "Well, I'm not working today, so whenever you get off of work."

That soon, huh?

"I'm actually leaving now. Today has been…rough."

I hear a snort on the other line. I guess he isn't a hundred percent calm. I then hear a mumble.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh nothing. I'll be at the house around two thirty."

At the house? The house is a mess. Crap is everywhere. Literally everywhere. Alice sure helped make the bathroom look like shit.

"No!" I say that a little bit too fast. "No…um…the house isn't in the best of shape."

"Isabella, I can go to my own house if I want to." His voice hardens and I can fee his glare through the phone.

"That's not what I mean. I just don't want you to see the house the way it is."

"Really? Now you care about what I see?" His anger increases, "You should've thought of that before you were fucking some…" He stops. His words slash out at me. Slice my neck open and takes my breath away. He takes a deep breath. "I'll be at the house at two thirty." And with that he hung up.


	5. Burning Fire

Listen To My Words

Chapter 5

"Burning Fire"

Due to Edward's time limit, I had about 3 hours to get to the house in order and get ready. I mean, how could I look like _this? _I need to show him that I'm successful and I'm the _one _he wants to be with. I tried calling back his cell phone but I kept getting ignored. He made it quite obvious that he didn't want to deal with me, but I think he's talking to me for the sake of our marriage. Or at least his assets.

So I have planned it all out. Leave the office in five minutes. The rush hour traffic will mean the ride back home will take a good hour. That leaves me an hour to shower, do my hair and make-up and then somehow tidy up the house.

Or…do all of that but surprise him at his house.

I know this is not at all what he wanted, but if you think about it, this is for my safety. He sounded more than angry on the phone and who knows how he will act once we're alone. Who knows what he will take from the house. Who knows?

I unlock the front door and dash up stairs to shower.

Unfortunately, how my plan is going to plan out is all that I can think of. While I'm shaving my legs, blow-drying my hair, putting on mascara, slipping on a pair of wedges, bobby-pinning my hair, locking back the front door and pulling up to his house, all I can think of is how he is going to react when he sees me on his front doorstep and not the other way around. His way. I open the car door and I take in his parents' house. Colonial cottage house on the bigger than large scale. Cobbled front pathway leading up to the white stairs. Large flowers surround the entire lot. It even looks like they continue up the side of the house. It's beautiful.

_It's now or never, you know. _

Oh, shut up.

I walk to the front door and the sound from my wedges echoes throughout my mind. My hands are shaking. More than I thought they would be but it is now or never. So here I go. I ring the doorbell and after a few seconds I hear voices. I shift my weight to my right foot and I see a curtain move the slightest bit.

_Oh, that's great. They're watching you._

But if they're watching me that means they know I'm here and they'll open the door.

I hear a woman's voice call something out and quickly a man responds. It's hard to hear whose voice is whose. I don't even know if Edward knows I'm here. I'm sure he hasn't left yet. It's only ten past two.

After a few minutes standing there I hear a woman's voice yell even louder, but still muffled. I hear bang from upstairs and then someone running down the stairs. And within seconds I see him.

He flew the door open but it was only opened so as much as I could see was him. Who knows if he didn't want me to see in or them to see me? He's standing there with his bronze hair wet and a tight dark grey Hanes shirt on. He simply takes my breath away. I try to hide my smile by looking at the ground while I shuffle my feet. As I look back up I can finally take in his face.

His usual uplifting bright green eyes are frozen solid. And they're staring at me…

After a few more seconds of looking at each other, I decide to say something. After all, I am the one who came to his house and rang his doorbell, "Hi, Edward." His name comes out weird in my mouth. Just like how fox sounds weird if you say it ten times.

He looks at me for awhile, "I thought we agreed that we're going to meet at the house." His voice was cold. Icy.

"Yes, well, no. You wanted to meet at the house but I said that the house isn't- " I stop mainly because I remember why the last talk had gone sour.

_Note for Bella: Don't talk about seeing._

Please, this is not the time.

He looks at me again but looks at me all over. I had changed into a white cotton dress with a red cardigan with red wedges. It was a little bold but I felt that I should come with my best foot forward. Edward put his finger up and then closed the door.

My breath picked up because it feels as I was shut out. I don't know who he was getting, kicking out, or even what he was doing. My nerves were multiplying by the second.

He opened the door, "Come inside."

Instantly I could smell Esme's cherry pie form the kitchen. A smile warmed my face as I was surrounded by so many memories in this house. Now this is going to be a new memory.

Edward walked into a hall that led to a sitting room and I followed behind him. The room was dark but he plopped onto a couch and looked at me. I took a couples step around the couch and looked at him as well. He motioned towards it and simply watched me. I took a deep breath as I set my bag down on the couch. The mail that I stuffed into my bag from earlier today fell out onto the floor. As I reached down to get it I kept dropping the mail that I already picked up. I was so nervous it was if I couldn't even control my own arms.

Edward let out a long sigh, "Just leave it."

I held some of the mail in my lap but eventually put them on the coffee table when he kept staring at me.

_Who knew he had such a staring problem?_

"Can you stop looking at me like that?"

His nonchalant expression turned sour, "What? You don't like people looking at you, Isabella?"

He's not making this easy.

"No, it's just that." I calm myself down. I feel tears coming on. I don't want to make this a sob fest. Not in front of him at least. "What did you want to talk about?"

This question could heat things up or somehow come out with a solution.

Edward slides his hand against his jawbone, "I wanted to talk about the living arrangements."

Arrangements? Like when a divorce comes through? Or?

"Arrangements for what? "

He rolled his eyes, "Honestly, Isabella, do you think that I want to move back in with you?"

We obviously need to talk about what happened because we both can't act like nothing happened.

"Edward. We need to talk about what happened."

His infamous snort rung in my ears. I looked down at my shaking hands. I don't think this was the best thought out plan. He obviously can't talk with me because he is so angry.

"You think?"

A tear slid down my cheek. I can't stand his sarcasm anymore, "You're not making this easy, Edward! How are we supposed to talk?"

He sat up in the couch, "Yeah? And do you think me seeing you sprawled out naked on a bed after you were fucking some other guy is easy! Well? I didn't think so!" He was breathing hard. Harder than on the phone earlier. I could see his nostrils flaring.

I wiped my cheek, "Can you at least let me explain myself?"

"You can explain to me why you're the one crying? You weren't hurt. Think about me, Isabella."

"I did, Edward. I do." I looked up at him and placed my hands in my lap, "If you think I consciously did this then you're wrong. I was drunk or I was even on a different level than drunk. I don't fully know Edward. I wish I knew why, but I don't. Please stay with me here."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. Because we've been through so much and I know we can get through this."

"Can we?"

I nodded my head.

"I don't think we can."

"Why not?" Please tell me why.

"What if I was there banging some other girl and you walked in, huh? How would that make you feel!"

I looked down at my hands and mumbled, "It'd be difficult…"

He became ecstatic, "Difficult? How about painful? How do you think having to see the love of your life have sex with some other guy? To have to drive her home and her act like nothing fucking happened? To leave her? I never thought I'd have to leave you, Bella. I love you! How could you do this to me?" He put his head in his hands.

I actually broke him down. Tears slid down my cheek and probably for the first time in our relationship I felt like I couldn't help him. All I could do was sit across from him and see him suffer.

"Edward. I understand if you want me to leave. I just wish you could," I was shaking all over, "find some way…to forgive me." I placed my hand onto my bag and picked it up. Edward covered his lower face and looked up at me. I stood there looking at him and around the room. I heard the front door open and close and people walking down the hall towards the room. If my luck wasn't bad enough, Alice along with Emmett walked in the room. The way she halted, her head could've flipped off. Her eyebrows raised and she had the exact pissy face Edward had on fifteen minutes ago.

"I knew red was for adultery. What the _hell _are you doing _here_?" Everything was going just fine…until she came.

Emmett whispered to Alice and placed his hands on her shoulder. She quickly shook them off and took a couple slow steady steps towards me.

"If you think you can come in here and act like everything is okay then you've got another thing coming for you."

Emmett quickly stepped in, "Alice, stop trying to ruin their marriage. Let's go."

Alice literally stomped her foot and turned towards Edward, "I thought we talked about this last night, Edward. I even told you not to call this tramp."

I couldn't stand her talking about me anymore. She comes into my house and trashes my stuff and now when I'm trying to talk to my husband, she talks about me when I'm right in front of her.

No. Not anymore. "One: I'm not a tramp. Two: Who the _fuck _do you think you are? Three: FYI He called me no matter what you said to him so _you _can get the hell out."

"Damn it!" Edward walked out of the room and soon after I heard him walking up the stairs, stomping his feet heavily.

Alice walked even closer to me, "Look what you've done. You've never done anything for this family and honestly, I could care less about who he marries as long as it isn't you, you whore."

My heart was crushed even further as I heard her speak. To hear how she really feels after three years of marriage. After years of dating. The wedding day. This is how she really felt about me. It was all fake. Everything was fake. I adjusted my bag on my shoulder. I kept looking back and forth between Alice's menacing eyes and Emmett who was awkwardly standing there. I wiped some of the tears of my face and I left. As I closed the door I broke out into sobs and nearly ran to my car.

Obviously due to my inability to see straight, I run into Jasper. My bag goes flying into a flower bed and I twist my ankle goes ankle goes into a funny position.

"Shit!" I say as I notice I'm on the ground.

Jasper holds out his hand for me to grab and he bends back down to get my purse.

"You've really got to watch-" He looks at my face and places his hands on my shoulders, "what? What?" He paused while he took my physical appearance in. "You talked to Edward?"

Tears fall out of my eyes even faster as I shake my head, "It was going fine until she-"

A heard a loud bang from the front door being flung open.

"Did you honestly not understand a word I said? Get the _fuck _out!" Her words hit me like three million tons of bricks.

"Alice!" Jasper's voice was different this time. It was held with great authority. Empowering even. "Get back in the house! She doesn't need this and neither does Edward." They seemed to have a staring contest and then I heard the closing of the door. I straightened out my dress to hide onset of tears coming from eyes. Liquid acid that pained me.

For some odd reason I looked up at Edward's window and saw him there looking down. Half hidden by curtains I saw his green eye slowly melt as we looked at each other. Simultaneously my heart melted as well. I have no clue how or why but my feet took one step and then another. They walked to my car, got me home, and placed me in my bed. Then willed my brain to sleep.


	6. False Hope

Listen To My Words

Chapter 6

" "

I walk into work yet again from a seemingly long day of yesterday even though I was in there for about 2 hours. What I was doing I have no clue, but I know that I need to step up my game. I have to or people are going to catch on real fast. I check in with Rebecca again and she tells me that Mr. Dawson has paged for me. Rolling my eyes was like a reflex. Of course to prove that Rebecca is in fact a sucky secretary, she failed to tell me that Mr. Dawson was in my office. Waiting for me. The surprise nearly made me spit up my coffee.

Jared slowing placed a grin on his face, "What? You're surprised to see me, love?"

I sputtered for a good five seconds, "What? What are you doing here? There is no reason for you to be around me."

Jared laughed, "Oh, but there is mi amor."

"No. I mean, who let you in my office?"

"Elana, of course. Remember she said that if I needed _anything _that I could go to you."

Elana. I'm going to have to talk to her. And Kyle. _Especially_, Kyle. "No, she said if you guys have any questions you can come to me or _her_. If you obviously saw her today, why didn't you ask her?"

His smile enlarged, "Because my question isn't for her."

Men are being difficult lately. I notice how awkward I look standing in front of my door. I walk over to my desk and saw the broken pieces of the picture frame. I quickly scooped the pieces into my hand to dump then into the trash. My eyes moved to Jared who was watching me. His hands glided against his jaw.

I looked at him, "What's your question?"

In the time he was just looking at me I was able to actually take in his physical features. He was decent. No, that's a lie. He was handsome. From his shaggy yet groomed dirty blonde hair all the way to his slender legs. He wasn't muscular but he wasn't that lean either. To be honest with myself, he looked like Edward. I feel guilty that I find him attractive.

He smiled, "Would you like to join me at my place Thursday afternoon to discuss," he paused and looked into my eyes, "business stuff." Then he winked.

I was getting agitated by his playful attitude. Is this how he acts around everyone? I'm working right now, come on.

"Mr. Dawson-"

"Please, call me Jared," he said as he leaned towards me.

Enough is enough, "No, Mr. Dawson. We may have had sex-"

"No. We did have sex."

"Stop talking, _Jared_. I've had enough of this. I do not want anything to deal with you. You can talk to Elana from now on." I stood up from my desk and grabbed my bag, "I'm leaving and so are you."

Jared looked down at his hands almost like he felt guilty, but when he looked back up at me I knew it was a fluke. "Okay, mi amor. I will leave you alone, for now." Of course he had to say it with a wink. I opened the door for him and then locked my door once we were both out. I stood there in the hallway watching him walk down the hall. He stopped, looked back at me, and then waved. I, being the semi-decent woman I am, waved back.

Walking down the hall to the mail room I couldn't help but wonder how I got this job. I barely do anything except present some crappy presentations and spread news about our firm. I guess I'm their puppet in some odd way. I can only thank Edward so much for this job though. If it wasn't for him a lot of things wouldn't have happened. Maybe Alice was…No. I'm not going to let her words affect me. She's crazy, psycho, and a lunatic and if anyone says that those words are the same thing, that person has not met Alice.

I knocked on the mail room door and walked in. The room was pretty industrial compared to the sleek modern feel of the rest of the building. Shelves everywhere filled with mail, papers, and diagrams of the sort. I saw Kyle's head behind one of the shelves.

"Hey, Kyle?"

He stopped moving, "Yeah? I'm back here."

There is _no _way I'm going back there, "Its Mrs. Cullen. I have a question for you about my mail yesterday."

He sounded a noise that told me to continue.

"Well, you said what I wanted was in there but it wasn't. You know, the letter from the clinic?"

Kyle got down from the ladder and walked around the shelves. He was wearing an obvious pick from a homosexual male. Why he picked this job I have to clue. His face was distorted with confusion. "Um, I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen, but I'm sure that it was from the clinic. I read it. Well I didn't read everything, but I read the first sheet about what the company is about and jazz."

I'm trying to think about all the possibilities of where that letter could be but I'm not getting anything. I place my hand on my head, "Kyle, are you sure you gave it to me? It didn't fall out of your hands or anything?"

He slowly shook his head, "No ma'am. I know that I had that envelope in my hands. I'm assuming you lost it?"

I let out a long sigh and said bye to Kyle. Maybe and hopefully the letter will be back at home. I wanted, with all my heart, to open the letter with Edward. Just me and him. No one else.

_Wow, Bella. Looks like you're not getting a break._

An alert goes off on my phone as I walk to my car. I quickly put my things in the car so I can plop down in the driver's seat to give my feet a break. Resting my head on the headrest feels so good but I know I should check my phone.

Hmm…two unread messages. I slide the notification bar down and I see one is from an unknown number and another is from Edward. I inwardly smile and I touch his message on the screen. Just as his message pops up I get a call from the same unknown number. I answer.

A faint static noise is on the other line so I listen on, "Hello, Bella."

My eyebrows scrunch together as I try to recognize the number, "Hello? Who is this?"

"What? Are you serious? How could you not recognize me?"

I started to become worried that the person on the other line was my infamous stalker, Jared. "I'm sorry?"

"Well, it's Jacob." I let out my breath that I'd been holding in. He's not all that bad. Guiltiness overcomes me as my mind races back to the last time we talked. I've been horrible to him. Bipolar even. He _was _trying to help.

"I'm sorry." It was a start.

He stays quiet for awhile and I can hear him breathing, "Yeah, well I'm sorry, too."

What could he possibly be sorry for? "How could you be sorry? You did everything you could. How I treated you was…not the best, that's for sure," I shook my head. Not just at my current conversation but my situation.

"Yeah, well…that's me for you Bella. I just wanted to see how you were doing. You know, with Edward?"

He's too caring. I decide not to fill him in on everything because I feel that would overwhelm him. I don't want to make him feel obligated to come rescue me every time something goes awry. "Well I talked to him yesterday, and things are," I paused for lack of words, "coming along." Hopefully.

"Oh! That's good, good. I know you guys can pull threw anything."

I smiled. I hear a muffled voice of a woman and then Jacob laughed, "I have to go Bella, nice talking to you."

I see his love life is going well, "Yeah talk to you-."

He hung up. Remind me, self, to not get attached to people for the world is unreliable. I started my car and pulled out of the parking garage and drove back home. Each and every time I open the doors of my own home trampled by the recent memories of the past few days. To say the least: It sucks balls. One way to make things better is if I actually clean up this place. Head out to the market to whip up a dinner. Probably invite Edward once he gets off of work? It's a plan.

After a few trash bags of broken items and worthless papers, the house looks nice. Of course there's no getting past the smell of bleach but I spray some air freshener anyways. I place the air freshener into the hallway closet and pick up my phone.

**To: Edward**

**From: +513-449-3820**

_Would you like to have dinner at the house tonight at 6?_

I hope he says yes, but on the other hand I'm sort of dreading being alone with him. With emotions all over the place it's difficult. But I know it's needed. I'm out of the house again, driving to the market when my phone goes off. Although texting while driving is dangerous, I do it anyways.

**From: Edward**

**To: +513-449-3820**

_I'm working late tonight. _

I frowned as I read the text, I wiped my forehead. This is never going to get any better. Maybe he needs some time, but I have to talk to him. At least know how he feels. I placed my phone into my purse and stepped out the car to face the severe heat that nearly melted my skin. As I walked into the humid market, I heard my phone calling for me. Figuratively speaking of course. I wanted to call, him, text him, send an email if I had to. Anything to get in touch with him, but no I'm being Patient Bella. Patient Bella.

The meat area was full of people looking at the freshly cut meats. I grimaced at the thought of being wedged between people shouting out for steaks or lean cut beef. Yeah…not doing it. I walk away from the chaos and come across the fish. The chef is cutting a couple of fish and I look at them. They look exceptional.

"Those are really nice cuts," I lean farther over the glass.

He looks up at me and I'm overwhelmed by his piercing blue eyes. He smiles at me and cuts another fish, "Rainbow Trout. Caught it outside the pier this morning." His accent was different, almost European.

"Can I buy three of them, please?" I grin as I watch him wipe off the blood from his hands. The market is surprisingly quiet where we are and I notice we're alone except for a suspicious short guy who is eyeing a sushi roll set.

"I don't see why not." He picks up three Rainbow Trout and wraps them, "Now, I got to tell you, I don't see many women like you coming around the market. So I'm going to let you in on a secret, okay?"

I look down at my feet and my smile grows even larger, "I'm flattered, what's the secret?"

"There's only one way you can make these fish taste exquisite and that's with this recipe. Now I'm going to give it to you before you walk out on me," he said as he turned around. He went into the back room.

This is sad. I'm here letting a who-know-how old guy flirt with me while I'm buying fish. Buying fish for a dinner with my husband! He jogs out of the back room and leans on the counter towards me.

He hands me the paper, "Here's the recipe. It calls for some muscles and scallops so I can get those if you want? I don't mind at all."

I can't do this, "Thank you, really. I'll just get some from the sets and."

He interrupts, "No, no, let me. I'll season them and all you have to do is cook them. I want to." He walked back to his prep counter and told me to look around the market and come back in twenty minutes. How could I say no? I looked down at the paper and began to search for the ingredients. I grabbed some green onions and placed them in the bag. Suddenly my phone rang and the smallest chance that it could be Edward made me drop the produce.

I froze looking between the green onions and my phone. But I quickly gathered the green onions, swapped them for some new ones, and answered my phone.

"Hello?" I panted into the phone.

"Well don't you sound happy to hear me?" My excitement was squashed from the first word that got out of his sick mouth.

"What do you want?"

"Ooh. Sassy now are we? I wanted to know the answer to my question I asked you earlier, _Mrs. Cullen_," I could hear him smiling through the phone.

Why now? "No I can't. That is my answer. I'm having dinner with my husband so I would like it if you could call Elana from now on." Or called her from the start.

"Got it. Got it. Dinner with the man. Totally understandable." I stopped listening to him as I gathered fresh tomatoes. Even though Edward was _working late, _I could make dinner and bring it to him at work tomorrow. My phone beeped and I took the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen.

**1 New Message!**

Who could it be from now?

**From: Edward**

**To: +513-449-3820**

_I can come over after work. I'm leaving now. I'll be there in an hour._

I can tell he's not ecstatic to talk but hey at least he's coming.

I interrupt Jared, "I'm sure that's cool, but I have to go now. "

Hanging up on him just feels too good. I gather my seasoned scallops and muscles from…Wow. I don't know his name. I should ask him, "Thank you for the seasoning. You really didn't have to, what's your name?"

His smile beams, "My name is Alexandru."

Hmmm, foreign. He looked at me like he was expecting something, "Oh, my name is Bella."

He chuckled to himself, "A Romanian and an Italian name. You and your name are very beautiful."

This is just too much. I need to leave and go home. I dash out of the market before he goes all foreign love on me. All I need to do is cook a good dinner for Edward, talk to him, and make our situation better. Without any interference.

Sixty long tiring minutes go by and I feel like I'm the master of multitasking. I've changed into a silky multicolored dress with black heels and I've pulled my hair into a side ponytail. I've made scallop and muscle soup which I've also used as a sauce for the Rainbow Trout. The green beans were in the steamer and the carrots were in the oven roasting after I softened them up a bit. All these foods were made just the way he likes them. All real and no fake. I checked my watch once again and saw that it's been over an hour since Edward had text me. An hour and twenty seven minutes to be exact, but what does it _really_ matter? I play with my nails as I stand in the middle of the kitchen. A light bulb goes off in my head and I climb on top of the counter to get wine glasses.

_If Edward was here, he'd be able to reach them._

And I thought you were gone.

_Obviously not. _

Maybe I should stop fighting with myself and answer the door.

Hold up, the doorbell went off? Man he's here. My eyes flickered all around me making sure everything was perfect. I jogged to the door and opened it.

It in fact was a _he. _Not the exact he I was thinking off.

"What the _hell _are you doing here?"

He walked inside and looked around the hallway. "Nice place."

"No. No. This is not going on. You can't be over right now, Jared."

This is the worst possible time. Edward could come over any second and this _thing_ being over here will not make anything better.

"Why? I thought you said you were making dinner. For me." He smiled and walked closer to me.

"I'm making dinner for my husband and he's going to be here any second. You need to leave."

I grabbed his shoulders and tried to push him towards the door but he wrapped his arms around me. I saw a flash of car lights come from the front driveway and I have the ability to crap my panties right now. This is going to be ugly. I'm sure you can see our bodies through the glass door and my heart stops when I hear his car shut off. I want to cry.

"Bella, I don't think you understand. I'm here for you and he isn't."

I shove my body away from him and I try to make the best of it. "No, Jared, you don't understand. We are both in the same field of work. That does not mean our _personal _lives cross. Now when he gets in here you are not going to say a word unless he _directly_ speaks to you. Got it?"

He smiled again, "I love you taking charge. Reminds me of when I met you." He smiled and walked into the living room to sit down. I ran my hand through my hair and tried to brace myself for what was about to happen.

I heard the door unlock and I was face to face with Edward. He was wearing a light blue button down shirt with dark wash jeans. He put his keys in his pocket and looked around the house.

"Hey, Edward. I'm glad that you could make it."

He looked at me and put his hands in his pocket, "Yeah." He continued to look around and he walked began to walk into the living room.

I purposely bumped into the plant to make him look back at me, "I'm sorry, I'm a little…" Nice going Bella.

He looked at me and then turned back to walk into the living room. Is he obsessed with it or something? "Edward!" He looked back.

"Yes, Bella?" I looked into his eyes and I saw what we used to be. My mood dropped a little bit and he noticed. He walked towards me and pulled me into his arms. I could feel him breathe me in. I burrowed my head deeper into his chest. It's been too long.

He whispered, "I've missed you, Bella." I could feel his chest tremble, "So much."

I felt even guiltier this right moment. Jared has ruined everything. If he hasn't done it before, he has definitely done it now.

"I'm sorry, Edward." He let go of me and looked at my face. We just stood there, his arms wrapped against my waist and my hands on his chest. His eyes were warm, softened from the last time eye saw him and I didn't want to do anything but look in his eyes.

"I know." His face was obviously unhappy, but happy to be with me at the same time.

I let out a quiet sigh, "Well I made some dinner. There was this chef at the market that gave me a recipe. It was for scallop and muscle soup with Rainbow Trout as the main seafood. I hope you like it. If not, I can make something else, really." He looked in the pot with a dubious expression, "I can make something. I have some meat that I can quickly season. I…I didn't know if you would…" He then smiled while chuckling to himself. "What…What are you laughing at?"

He closed the pot, "No, it's just you're worrying about nothing. It's fine. I'm adventurous. I-."

I heard someone clear their throat. Edward stopped midsentence and scrunched his eyebrows, "Did you hear that?"

My heart rate picked up and I quickly tried to find some tablecloths to place on the table, "Do you want anything to drink?" Alcohol is not what I'm going to drink tonight.

"Um…what do we-."

There was another clearing of the throat.

"Seriously, Bella, what is that?"

In the corner of my eye I saw Jared come around the wall of the kitchen and lean in the arch. My heart stopped. Or I wish it did so I wouldn't have to deal with this.

"More like who is that." Jared smiled and quietly laughed to himself.

Edward's body did a one-eighty and then his head snapped back at me, "Who is this, Bella?" My lips started quivering as I watched Edward's chest rise and fall faster. All I could look at was Jared's smug face as he fixed his shirt.

"Bella," Jared spoke up, "I believe your _husband_ is talking to you."

My mind isn't working at all to conjure up an answer, so Jared introduces himself.

"Edward, I'm Jared. I've heard a lot about you. I'm Bella's coworker. Our firms just signed together." He walked over to Edward and shook his hand while placing his other hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Really?" Edward shook Jared's hand while looking at his face and studying it. As I'm watching this, I'm just praying to God that he doesn't recognize Jared. Please don't have him recognize Jared. Since I have sinned, the exact opposite happened. Edward took his hand out of Jared's abruptly and anger spread out on his face.

"You think I'm fucking _stupid_ don't you, Bella?" Tears well into my eyes and I try not to hyperventilate from all the stress this is causing me.

I slowly shook my head, "It's not what it looks like Edward."

A sarcastic smile crept up on his face, "Oh you're right, Bella. I don't know anything that I see. My bad. Why don't you tell me what this _fucking is_!" He screamed as his anger rose.

Jared placed his hand on Edward's chest, "Hey! You don't talk to her that way! "

Edward shoved Jared's hand off of himself, "You don't touch me. You better get out because you have exactly five seconds before I make you get out."

Jared's charm turned into rage as he was threatened. "Try! See how it ends."

"What makes you think you can come into my house and talk to me like that?"

I have to say something. I need to say something before the excess testosterone ignites a fight.

"Shut up!" Both Edward and Jared look at me. Edward was obviously seething and Jared was preparing to glue a smirk on his face.

"Edward, I'm sorry but yes Jared was here. But I didn't invite him. He came here and just walked in. I promise."

I looked into his livid eyes. "What is wrong with you, Bella?" Then he walked out of the kitchen.

My heart sunk further down into the black hole it was captive in. My head lowered itself and I placed my head in my hands. Why did Jared have to push Edward?

"Why'd you do that? I specifically told you not to speak unless spoken to. You didn't listen again. I told you I didn't want to talk to you. You come to my work. I say leave me alone. You call me and I tell you I'm having dinner with him. I tell you. You just have to push his buttons don't you? Leave! I don't even know how I can…" I throw my hands in the air and walk away to try and find Edward. "You better be gone, Jared!"

I look in the dining room and I see Edward's wedding ring on a stack of tablecloths. My eyes start to water as I shakily pick up the ring. He can't mean this, can he? I mean, I don't have mine because he took it. He said I could have it whenever I'm ready. I walk down another hallway to the bedroom. I see him sitting on the bed facing away from the door. I slowly walk inside.

"Edward?" I hope he has called down.

He sighed, "What, Bella?"

I tried to control my voice form wavering, "Can you let me explain? Everything?"

He leaned back his head and let out a sick laugh, "Why not?"

I placed myself in a chair and looked into his eyes. His face was hardened, his eyes were hardened and I could feel his negative energy rolling out in waves.

"Edward what happened a couple nights ago was me drunk. Like I've told you, I don't know why I didn't remember or why I felt so out of it. Maybe it was something I drank, but I know I will never do that to you again. Jared is the guy that I slept with and he happens to be the rep for a big firm we just signed with. I had no clue that he was with them. I tried to get away from him but he kept on calling me and looking for me and he just showed up tonight. I had no idea tonight was going to happen like it did. I didn't want things to happen this way." There. I tried.

"Bella, I understand what you are saying, but let me tell you how I see this and how it makes me _feel. _You _ripped_ my heart out. No person should ever have to see that. I could have left you, Bella. There at the party, I could've but I didn't. Why? Because I love you. Obviously I must've done something wrong because I don't know why my wife, my lover, my _best friend _would do that to me." He looked at me and a tear escapes his eye. He shook his head, "Leaving you was the hardest thing to do but being with you is equally hard, Bella. You begging me to stay is forever burned in…Then to see this guy in my house. Talking to me the way he did and you! You didn't do anything! If that asshole wasn't in this house to start off with then we could be eating dinner right now and progressing, but no. We can't because he _was _in this house and probably still _is_. Is that right, Bella?"

My lips struggle to get the words out, "I…I think he's out."

His eyebrows shoots up, "You _think _he's out. Wow. That's great, Bella. I'm going to need a lot more time before I can even consider being your husband. Your anything. Especially with this fool that you're associated with I'm damn sure it's not going to be anytime soon." He pushed himself off the bed and went into the bathroom. Maybe Patient Bella turned into Assertive Bella because _I'm _damn sure I'm not losing him again. I walked into the bathroom and looked him in the eyes even if he didn't want to look into mine.

I told him, "We're going to have dinner after you get out of the bathroom. Then we will clear this up. The right way. Edward," He turned his face towards me, "I'm not going to lose you. Not again."


	7. Winding Road  EDIT

Listen To My Words

Chapter 7

"Winding Road"

I walked out of our bedroom and I closed the door. My eyes couldn't stop shifting all over the place. From the ceiling, to the wall, back to the ceiling, and to my hands. I settled my breathing from the rush I got by talking to Edward like that. A small smile crept onto my face. I've never been so forward with _him_ like that. Sure any other person would say I wasn't _that _assertive, but for me this would a leap across the moon. I've never spoken to Edward with a hostile tone. Ever. I stepped away from the door and listened to my heels echo in the hallway. I dragged my hand across the wall as I thought how I was going to talk to him at dinner. Stopping at the entrance to the kitchen, I shook my head at what I had just done again.

As I reached up to one of the cabinets for two plates I heard Edward pull one of the dining chairs out. I silently waited to hear him sit in the chair. With a small sigh from Edward, I smiled, and then continued getting silverware and cups. After I placed the food onto the plates and filling the wine glasses, I set the table. Edward was fiddling with his hands in his lap. I placed his plate in front of him and looked at his eyes, but they didn't look back at me. I'm starting to wonder if all of our conversations are going to resemble pulling teeth.

Once everything was set and the lights were dimmed, I sat down. The tension was unbearable. I've never seen Edward this stubborn. I watched him as I picked up my fork.

"The muscles are fresh from today's catch." I studied his face. Nothing. "Or well, that's what the chef said," I half mumbled. I mixed some of my rice with the green beans and took a bite. This was really good. I couldn't help but smile. All the produce was fresh and crispy and the seasoning was top-notch. I should give the chef a call and thank him. I turned to Edward, "Take a bite, it's really good."

Edward stared at me with a dark expression written into his eyes. He picked up his fork, stabbed a green bean, and forcefully bit it off. I chuckled inside from his actions. He's acting so childish.

With a strained voice he said, "Delish." He put his fork onto his plate.

I continued to eat my food in peace. I'm not going to let his attitude ruin one of my three meals of the day. After making somewhat of a dent into my food and looked at Edward. He was staring at the ceiling with slit eyes. "Are you going to eat anything else, Edward?"

"No." He tapped his fingers on the table.

"Do you not like it? I made it myself from scratch. You said you would try it."

He scrunched his brows even more. "Is he here?"

So that's what he was thinking about the entire time. I can already tell that he's not going to like my answer. "I don't think so."

He raised an eyebrow, "You don't think so?"

I could practically hear his blood boiling, "That _is_ what I said."

He took a deep breath, "Why do you always do this? Bella, why?"

I racked my brain to think of what he could mean by that. I drew a blank. "What do you mean?"

He turned toward me, "Do you live in the moment or something?"

I still was dumfounded.

"Let me give you some examples. If you knew your husband was going to come over for dinner, you wouldn't let some guy come inside. If your husband came inside and the guy was still inside, you would have the other guy _leave_. If your husband said for the guy to leave, you would make sure to have the guy leave. It's all common sense. You wouldn't hide the guy in your house and hope your husband wouldn't notice. That's just stupidity, but in your case it's idiocy. Do you get it now?"

I looked down at my plate. I slowly shook my head. Not because I didn't understand, but at this entire situation.

"You still don't understand, Bella?" His voice raised in astonishment.

"No, Edward, I do understand. I do, but I don't think that you understand why he is so important."

He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Edward, his company just signed with my job. Elana put me in charge for making sure all of his needs are met." Edward snorted. I clenched my jaw from commenting on it. "I can't turn him down because you don't like him."

Edward sighed, "It's more than that, Bella. You had sex with him…"

I interrupted, "That was before he signed with us!"

Edward slammed his fist on the table, "It doesn't fucking matter, Bella." He took a few calming breaths. "_You _had sex with him and _you_ are leading him on. Plain and simple. I don't know what you feel for him. I don't know what you guys have done. I don't know if you guys have even done anything since then. But what I do know is that if you are going to keep playing around this subject of you cheating on me, this marriage is going to go absolutely nowhere. I've tried for you to see it my way, but every time you get this ditzy attitude of 'I don't know what I did wrong.'"

Do I really act like that? I feel guilt suffocate me just like a scarf. It tightens around my neck as I realize why I haven't exactly pushed away Jared. I'm caring more about work than my relationship with my wonderful husband. The man that brought me home after _The Night_. The man that is still giving our relationship a chance. The man who still loves me, after everything that I've done to him. I look away and try to think of something to say to him. I wish I could start these days over. I wish I hadn't taken such a stupid way to approach this issue. I regret pretty much every decision I've made these past few days. I've done nothing to show him that I want to be in this relationship. _Then why is he…_

I mumbled, "Why are you still here?"

His head snapped towards me, "What do you…"

"Why are you still here," I spoke louder and looked in his eyes. They looked confused, but they were warm this time. Even after him shouting at me they were still warm.

They looked down and back at me, "I love you." Those three words were slowly breaking my heart. It sucks how all this time I haven't down _anything_ to show him that I want him. I haven't even given him a good reason to come back. And yet he still wants me.

"But you're mad…"

"Furious." He looked at the window out to the pool and then looked back at me. "That doesn't mean I don't love you though." My brows scrunched together in confusion.

"You said that you're close on just giving up."

"I am. I tried, Bella, to honestly understand why you did this, but you're making this hard on me. I know I'm making this hard on you. This being the marriage."

I looked down at my hands. I had sex with Jared when I was drunk. More than drunk. But does it make it okay? Does it make it accepted as an accident that you couldn't control or…?

"I wish we could go back to how we were."

He raised his eyebrows, "Well, you messed that up, Bella."

We sat in silence. "I'm sorry, Edward. I just hope you can forgive me."

Edward placed a small smile on his face, "I just want to be with you again."

I smiled largely into my lap. My heart soared all the way out of the Milky Way Galaxy and beyond. There has to be a 'but' coming.

"..but you have to promise me that you can't do this to me again, Bella."

I quickly stated, "I won't."

His face went serious, "…because I won't come back next time. I can promise you that." We looked into each other's eyes.

I whispered, "I won't."

Edward leaned into me and he placed his hand on my cheek. His thumb grazed over my eyelids, down to my nose and then went over my lips. I kissed him thumb as I looked into his eyes. He was calmly studying my face and looked like he was deep in thought. This moment between us seemed to slow time. I wanted this to last forever. I was about to ask him what he was thinking about when he placed his lips onto mine. Big Ben could have ringed a hundred times in my ear and I wouldn't have noticed. I was simply on Cloud 9. I moved my lips against his as his hand moved to my hair. He let out a small moan and I smiled against his lips. Our kisses slowed to small pecks. I couldn't help but feel like a little girl again. He kissed my neck and kissed my lips one more time.

"It's been too long." His eyes smiled at me. My eyes shifted to the table and his eyes followed. He started to get up from his chair, but I reached out to grab his arm.

"Edward, I love you."

He leaned down to me, "I love you, too"

We got up to start cleaning the table and the entire time I couldn't help but to smile inside. The love of my life was back and everything was fine. For now at least. When we finished we sat down and watched some TV. I was lying in between his legs with my head on his chest. I know that we had some more stuff to talk about. I know that he still has to go back to his parent's house. I know that this happiness may be short lived but I'll take all the love he gives me.

Edward kissed my forehead, "Relax, everything is fine, Bella."

I guess he could feel how tense I was lying in his arms. I tried to relax but something in the back of my mind was still bugging me. I tried to focus in the TV but it was still there. Edward slid his hand across my stomach and I flinched. He moved his body more upright to try and look at my face.

"Seriously, Bella, what's up?"

I looked at him, "Nothing. I'm fine." My face obviously said something else and his face was obviously annoyed, but he let it go. I mentally kicked myself for making him annoyed. Why can't I just relax? I can't tell him something is bugging me because I don't want to mess this up. Whatever is bugging, I am sure, is nothing. It's nothing.

A few minutes pass and Edward sighed contently as he rubbed my arm, "That would be nice." His voice jolted me out of my own thoughts. His voice jolted my body as well. He stopped rubbing my arm. "Am I making you feel weird?" Dammit, Bella! Shape up.

"No…no…I was just in a daze. What were you saying?"

"I saw the commercial about Fiji. It was like this underwater thing. I said it'd be nice…" His voice lowered to a mumble. I now mentally slapped myself. I'm making him feel unwanted.

"That would be nice," I shifted on top of him and I could feel his breath quicken. I couldn't help smile inside. Let's see if what I'm thinking is really happening. I shifted slower on top of him and he let out a low sigh.

I was about to move again, "Are you comfortable?"

I looked up at him, "Yes, I am." I smiled at him as he shook his head.

"Watch the TV, Bella." I silently laugh as I felt his chest moving up and down.

Hours passed and the overhead digital clock said 11:30. We've gone through countless sitting arrangements on the couch and I must say I am tired. Today has sucked what little energy I had, but I'm happy today has ended the way it did. With Edward and I back together.

Edward took his arm off of my shoulder to rubs his eyes. He then let out a yawn.

"Tired?" I asked.

He snorted, "That's an understatement."

I looked at his face as I waited for him to say something else, but he didn't. I guess I'll bring it up.

"Are you…" I played with a ring on my right hand, "going to leave?" I looked back at him searching for an answer on his face alone.

He pursed his lips and looked at the ceiling, "Yeah, I'm going to leave."

"Oh." My voice was small. It sounded choked. Fragile even. I chewed my lip as I ran my hands through my hair.

Edward wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him on the couch. He kissed my forehead, "Don't act so sad. You've been sleeping without me for like what? Three…four nights?"

"Yeah. Those weren't the best of nights."

He sighed deeply. "How about you come home with me?" I could hear the smile in his voice. Going home with him? That wouldn't be such a bad idea. "I could sneak you in."

He shook my body has he laughed making me laugh. "What do you say?"

"Sure, let's do it." I got off of him and walked into our bedroom. I stopped in the middle of the room and looked around. What should I even bring? Do I bring a bag or…? I decided to take a duffle bag full of toiletries, makeup basics, and pair of black shorts with a champagne colored blouse. I'll keep the black heels that I'm wearing now. Edward yelled from downstairs that we needed to leave. I turned off all the lights upstairs and met up with him in the foyer.

He placed his hand on the back of my head and kissed me on the lips. This is what I simply missed the most in our short time apart. Just being with him.

"You ready?" he asked as we parted.

"Don't you think Esme would want some food? I could give her all of the leftovers. Your house has more people going in and out, you know?" Edward looked up in thought and slowly shook his head.

"Nah…I don't really think she'd want more food." I look at him with a dubious expression as I handed him my bag. When I turned off all the lights in the house, I heard his car start up. I locked the front door and turned around. Memories were thrown into my face as my eyes met up with Edward's car. The last time I saw it he was speeding down the street. I tried my best to disguise my frown with disgust. I'll make up a story if he asks.

I open the door, "What's wrong, Bella?" he asks.

Well he didn't waste any time. I buckled myself in and plugged my phone charge in. Searching for my phone bought me a little bit of time but I knew he was still waiting.

"Bella, was there something wrong?" He put the car in drive and turned off the radio. I searched through my phone randomly acting as if I need something.

"Oh…nothing," _Think, Bella, think_, "It's just that your gas was really strong." Edward leaned back farther into seat and cocked his head.

"Must have been the place I went to. Odd."

The car ride was silent but as we neared his house I became nervous. I know his whole family knows what I've done. I don't know how they are going to react when they see me. Edward drives past his house. I look back at his house as we get farther and farther away from it.

"Wha-…what are you doing?"

He laughs and places a hand on my lap, "I just wanted to see if any lights are on." After a few random turns here and there in his neighborhood we ended up in his driveway.

He turned the car off, "I'm going to go inside and walk around a bit and then if the coast is clear I'll come back out for you, okay?" He winked and jogged up to the front door.

The car was silent. It was the type of silence that invades your ears, but at the same time your heart is trying to pound its way out. I glance around the car trying not to move too much. The backseat looks a mess with clothes and papers strewn across the seat and floor. I sigh as I face front in my seat. A sudden flash of light fills the inside of the car and I look at its source. Edward has half of his body out of his window and he's waving. I laugh at how stupid he looks, but that's good. That means he's back to his playful self. A few second later he jogs back to the car and open my door.

"It's all clear." We get some stuff out of the car and we walk up the steps. My heels' clacking is amplified and Edward turns around.

He whispers, "Take off your shoes." He holds his hand out for them. My feet feel dirty as I stand on the porch. I stay where I am as he enters the house.

"Edward!" I whisper.

He turns around, "What are you doing come on in."

I shake my head, "Dirt is going to get on my feet." I wiggle my toes and pout.

He rolls his eyes, "What do you want me to do? Carry you?" He was obviously sarcastic.

I smile, "Well that could fix things."

"Okay, hold on," Edward walks up the stairs and comes back within a couples seconds.

"Bridal style? Piggy back ride? Straddle?" He counts each one of them on his fingers, "Or I could drag you."

"No, no, straddle is just fine."

He laughs and opens his arms, "I'm all here."

I jump onto to him and he wraps his arms around my body. I plant a big kiss on his lips, "Thank you, sir."

When we walk into his room he throws me onto his bed. I let out a small chuckle as he fake jumps on me. His lips make their way to mine and we enjoy a passionate kiss. Our tongues dance together and I moan with delight as he places kisses down my neck.

"We need to get ready for bed, love." He places his hands on the sides of my head. I kiss his wrist and place my hands on his back.

"I guess. There's not much to do anyways." As Edward gets up, I straighten my dress and get up as well.

After we both take off what we were wearing and brush our teeth, I finally get to look at his room. It hasn't changed since we were teenagers. Posters are still there. Random crap on his desk seems to be oddly preserved. I pick up a shot glass from Busch Gardens and smile.

Edward walks back into his room with a glass of water, "Jasper and Alice are here." I place the cup back down and step away from the window.

"Do you think they saw me?" I lie down on the bed.

"I don't think so." He shrugs. "It wouldn't matter any ways. Water?"

I shake my head, "It's just…I'm nervous." He places his body between my legs and lays his head on my stomach.

"About?"

Did he really forget what happened the last time I came here? "Alice."

He nodded for me to continue.

"Well, I mean she nearly murdered me the last time I came here. Not to mention the day you left when she came to the house."

Edward's head snapped up. "She went to the house?"

I ran my hand through his hair, "Yes. She came by with Jasper to get some stuff for you."

It was obvious that Edward didn't know about her drop by. "I never told her to go there." He shook his head while deep in thought. The longer I sat there watching Edward fume the faster I realized that I can't have him marinating in his dark thoughts.

"Hey." He looked up at me. "Don't be mad." I was nothing but concerned about how he was feeling.

He calmed down and grinned, "I'm not. Don't worry." He slid up towards me and kissed me on the lips. As he was pulling away I wrapped my hands around his locks and deepened the kiss. He lowered body against mine and instantly I felt his tongue plunge inside my mouth. Our lips feverishly moved with each other. I was breathing so hard, I was out of my mind. I could barely understand what Edward was whispering in my ear. All I could feel was his warm body against mine and his lips sucking my neck. I pulled his face back to mine and urgently kissed him.

I honestly have no self-control.

We just had sex.

We had sex.

Both of us were hot and sweaty but that was fine because I didn't care. Hopefully, this doesn't back fire on me.

"I love you, Edward." He looked up at me.

"I love you, Bella."

We lay together in bed for a few minutes until Edward sat up in the bed and started looking for his briefs.

I sat up, "What are you doing?" He continues searching for awhile and puts them on.

"I'm getting a drink. Do you want one?"

"No, I'm fine." I watch him walk out of the bedroom. I stare at the closed door for what seems ages. My mind is plagued by what just happened. Not the sex because the sex was great. It's what was in my mind during sex. Jared. I almost ruined tonight. He almost ruined another night of mine. I need to sort my emotions out before Edward is back. I need to somehow get rid of Jared without losing my job. I sigh as I run my hand through my knotted sex hair. I hear muffled voices from outside the door. I place my ear against it. Muffled voices flood my ear as they get louder and louder. I can clearly hear the voices of Edward and Alice.

Edward yells, "What the hell do you mean by that, Alice?" My heart picks up. I have no clue what they are talking about.

"You know what I mean, Edward!" Alice raised her voice to meet Edward's.

There was silence, "Whatever. Don't say that to me again and don't talk to her either." I could hear Edward's voice coming towards me but then it got farther away.

Alice said something that further upset Edward.

"You don't know what fucking happened, Alice! It's none of your business!"

"It is my business, Edward. It is when I have my brother coming home depressed from his slutty wife's actions!" He was depressed? We need to talk about all of this in the morning or at least at the right time, but who really knows when the _right _time is?

Edward hit the wall, "Shut the _fuck _up, Alice." I almost didn't hear what he said. His voice was so low. "My marriage has nothing to do with you. You're not even married. You're lucky that you even found a man like Jasper. Must've been a fluke."

"Like you would know what real love is Edward. How many women have you dated again? And what, this girl is supposedly the one for you now? Get it through your head, Edward. She cheated on you with, I'm pretty sure, I guy that looks just like you." I looked down at my hands because it was true, but Alice's words didn't affect Edward.

"I do know what real love is, Alice. Bella and I are in love. We have gotten through this and we can get through so much more now. But the main difference between her and you is that she's not a cold-hearted bitch!" I gasped as I heard what Edward just said. All our relationship he acted like Alice was his best friend. I never knew he would say this to her.

I heard muffled voices from further down the hall so I cracked the door to see who it is. The light from the tableside lamp traveled all the way down to Carlisle's feet and slowly one-by-one I was looking at everyone's face. Edward ran his hands over his face.

"Bella, go back inside. I'll be there soon." I looked from Edward's face to Alice's face that was covered in tears.

Esme spoke up, "No, Bella, stay right there. We're going to clear all this up."

"Clear _what _up mom. There's nothing to do."

Esme sighed, "I have had enough of you two yelling these past few days. You've made it evident that you guys can't be in the same house, at least under these circumstances."

Alice turned towards me, "The obvious circumstance is Bella's adultery." She then snorted and muttered whore.

Edward spat at Alice, "Shut the fuck up."

I tried to contain my anger as it bubbled over. I tried to control how much red I was currently seeing but I can't take her anymore. I calmly walked down the hall and stood next to Edward.

I steadied my voice, "No, Edward, since she was talking to me I'll answer her. You don't know shit so you can stop talking shit."

Esme interjected, "The name calling and cursing stops now. This is no way to solve things. I said this before. One of you guys is going to have to leave if you guys can't resolve things."

Alice spat out, "As long as that adulterer is still with your other son mom, I'm not leaving."

"She said to quit the name calling," Edward muttered.

Alice puts her hands up in defense, "I'm only stating the truth, am I not?"

I shook my head with disgust. How can she possibly think its okay for a twenty-six year old to act that way?

Edward then blew up. "That's it. I'm done." He walked into his room. I could hear bags being picked up and I heard him packing stuff in the bags.

Esme called out, "No, Edward. You can't leave because you give up. Come back out please."

Alice mumbled something but I missed it because I was paying attention to Edward. Edward heard what Alice said. He stormed out of the room and I saw he managed to put a pair of jeans on.

This time he raised his voice higher than before, "I told you once, Alice, shut up. I don't want to hear your voice. I don't want to hear you saying things about my wife. She is my wife whether you like it or not."

Alice mocked each and every word that came out his mouth. Edward's nostrils started to flare and walk right up to Alice and looked her right in the eye.

"You're a bitch. Nothing more." My emotions were everywhere. I couldn't help but look in horror of what is going on. But most of all, I couldn't believe Edward said that to Alice.

Then she slapped him. The sound was on repeat in my mind. My eyes were glued to Edward's fists. There were clenched. Then unclenched. Clenched. Then he swung.

**[was sooo going to end the chapter like this buuutttt :)]**

His fist came in contact with the wall and he stormed to his room slamming the door. It all happened so fast, Alice was just standing there with tears streaming down her face. I looked at her. I couldn't understand why she was crying. She's the one who started it all. This wouldn't have happened if she didn't have a problem with Edward and me.

But as Carlisle and Esme walked back downstairs I noticed something. As Alice glared at me walking into her room I realized something. And as I halted outside of Edward's bedroom door I concluded something. It wasn't Alice who caused all of this. It was me. I stepped away from Edward's door and tried to steady my breathing as I realized I have no place in this house. I walked down the hall, down the stairs and through the kitchen without a single tear, but the second I opened the patio door my eyes released them. My body was wracked by sobs as I closed the door and I struggled to bring my body to the lounge chair out in the grass. I sat on the wet furniture just crying.

After awhile I heard a car door shut and Jasper yelling at Alice. He's telling her to change or he's not coming back.

"Why, Alice? Why do you always have to fuck everything up? It's their relationship. You have nothing to do with it!"

I hear Alice crying and struggling to speak, "You don't understand, Jasper. She isn't for him. You don't see the way she treats him!"

"What the hell do you know about how she treats him, Alice? You should take your head out of Edward's ass and look at our relationship. _You_ don't treat _me_ right, Alice."

Alice says something to Jasper and I only hear his reaction, "Whatever. Until you can shape up, I'm gone." Their conversation makes me cry even harder. To know that I made this happen is beyond me. I've ruined the life of the man I love and everyone in his life. The tears stopped flowing but I am still plagued by my sobs.

I wrapped an arm around my body and put my head in my hand. This night was going to well. I stretched Edward's shirt down to my knees as well as I could but I was still cold. I heard the patio door open and close and a few footsteps. I heard Edward say something so I turned my head towards him.

"You're going to catch a cold out here," He yelled out as he walked across the yard. He took off his sweatshirt leaving him shirtless. I wiped my eyes.

"You're going to catch a cold if I take it." I looked up at him. His eyes were red. The same with his nose but he seemed in good spirits.

"At least I have pants, Bella." I looked down at my legs. They were starting to get blotchy out in the cold air. I put on his sweatshirt and twisted my hair into the hood. He sat behind me and wrapped his arms around my body. He twisted around to look at me. "Are you okay?" The moment I looked into his eyes, I burst into tears. I grabbed onto him. He simply held me for what felt like forever. When I felt strong enough I spoke, "Everything is messed up, Edward."

I wiped my eyes with his sweatshirt. He choked out a response, "I know, Bella. I know."


	8. Or Can It Get Worse Part 1

Listen To My Words

Chapter 8

"Or Can It Get Worse Part 1"

Waking up next to Edward felt nice. The warmth of his body flush against mine made me feel comfortable. Almost too comfortable with all that just happened. It's sort of weird. No matter how much chaos is going around me, if Edward is there, all is healed. As if there was nothing wrong to begin with. I took a deep breath in and wiped my sore eyes. I could tell they were irritated. I guess no contacts for me today. Edward shuffled and breathed into my back. He drew me in closer to him as I tried to reach for my phone on the dresser.

He half mumbled, "Stay with me." His morning wood was pushed up against my back. I tried to look back at him but I failed miserably. Not all of us were born with an owl's neck.

"Edward, I need to see what time it is." He tightened his hold on me. He's not making this easy.

"I…know what time…it is," He groggily said. I waited for him to tell me the time. All I got was his heavy breathing on my neck.

I nudged him, "Edward, what time is it?"

He moved a little, "It's…like eleven…" He breathlessly answered me.

Eleven WHAT? "What did you say?" I tried to calm my breathing. It can't be eleven. No. No. It can't be.

"Bella, I said it's like eleven thirty or something," He was getting grumpy. I immediately jumped out of the bed and grabbed my phone.

**6 Missed Calls!**

**3 New Voicemail!**

**1 New Text Message!**

_Shit. _I tucked my hair behind my ear and unlocked my phone. I rapidly scrolled down to the notification bar and I nearly crapped myself.

**New Text Message – Elana Ortega **_**10:52 AM**_

**New Voicemail – Kyle Freeman **_**10:03 AM**_

**Missed Call – Kyle Freeman **_**10:02 AM**_

**New Voicemail – Elana Ortega **_**9:47 AM**_

**Missed Call – Elana Ortega **_**9:46 AM**_

**New Voicemail – Mr. Dawson **_**9:29 AM**_

**Missed Call – Mr. Dawson **_**9:28 AM**_

**Missed Call – Elana Ortega **_**9:21 AM**_

**Missed Call – Elana Ortega **_**9:17 AM**_

**Missed Call – Elana Ortega **_**9:11 AM**_

I slowly placed my hand over my mouth as I read the screen. Four of those calls were from Elana. I touch the screen to open the text.

**From: Elana Ortega **

**To: +513-449-3820**

_You better have a good reason for not showing up to the 9AM meeting, Bella. Another eight execs were unimpressed. One of those being Mr. Dawson. My office at 11:15. No later. _

Crap! It's 11:37 now. I groan as I place my phone back on the nightstand. I hang my head and sit on the edge of the bed. Eight freaking execs? I'll be surprised if I even have my job when I get there. Edward's arms wrap around my torso and he lays his head next to my leg.

"Bella?" I deeply sigh as I run my hand through his hair.

"I'm screwed." I look out of the window. I just don't get it. I choose to pay attention to my personal life once in my career and this happens. I think I deserve a little leeway even though I'm not the most productive employee.

"Why?" I can't answer Edward. I'm too freaked out. I have no idea what to think. I was thrown into real life within a matter of seconds. I knew this Cloud 9 thing wasn't legit. I take his arms off of me and stand up to get dressed. I search through my bag and find my clothes. Defeated, I walk into his bathroom, whip up a quick shower, clean myself up and I'm ready for work. I may not look so modest but I at least look somewhat professional. Thank goodness I didn't take a tank top instead last night. Walking back into the bedroom I see Edward sitting up in bed with his hands in his hands. I walk over to him and hug him. He envelops me and I feel him breathe me in.

"Will you be back?" Edward runs his hands through his hair. He honestly looks like shit. Did he even sleep last night?

I play with a couple bangles on my arm, "I don't know. What's our plan?"

He looks around at his room, "I'm fine staying here, to be honest."

I hope he doesn't plan on sleeping here for the rest of his life because he's making it seem that way. With or without him, I'm staying at our house. Well maybe not without him. He just needs to come home.

"But for how long, Edward?"

He sighed and rubbed his face, "I don't know, Bella. Once we get everything situated."

_Situated._ I want to go back home. At least I know I have a place there. I'm in the house of my husband. The husband that I cheated on. I don't think that I'm the most welcome.

"I wasn't exactly invited here, if you remember."

"Well, who cares? You're my wife so you should be welcome."

He doesn't understand how being here makes me feel, "Edward." He looked up at me. "I am not welcome here. You and I both know it. I can't walk downstairs and just grab anything out of the fridge. It isn't like that anymore. I feel like I'll be imprisoned in your bedroom!"

He started picking at his nails and mumbles, "Sorry if here isn't good enough for you."

Continuing to talk to him in one of his 'morning moods' will not fix anything, besides, I really need to get to work. I step out into the hall and dig in my bag for my keys but I can't find them. I slap my head. I forgot that Edward drove us over here. As I walk back into his room I see him still in the same position. Picking at his nails. He looks peeved.

"Edward, can I drive your car?" He pursed his lips as he focused at his nails. He's not fooling me because I know he could care less about them.

"This is really important, Edward. I'm about to lose my job if I hadn't already." He stopped moving and pointed to his pants near his desk. I jogged my way across the room and bent over. As I came up I made sure to flip my hair over my shoulder.

Breathlessly I said thank you to Edward and sauntered out of the room.

When I was halfway out the door Edward spoke up, "You're wearing that to work?" Is he going to criticize me now?

"Yeah." I stared at his face as he looked me up and down, his eyes lingering on my legs. A smirk slowly made its way and he said, "You look nice." I walked out of the house smiling. See ladies, the bend and snap really does work. I laughed as I started his car and pulled out of the driveway. Even though I was in a playful mood, I had to become serious for the torment to come. I had a significant amount of time trying to think of an excuse since I had to park in the far visitor's parking lot. I had to hike my way up past a couple more building's before mine came into view. Taking a deep breath the doorman opened the door and I met my fate.

It's sort of like those movies where someone who has obviously been outcaste walks in and everyone stops talking, moving, and breathing even. Yes. This is my sad, sad life. I pull my chin up as I walk up to Rebecca.

"Where's Elana."

Her face became worried, "You don't want to know Ms. Cullen." _Ms. Cullen?_ Last time I checked Edward and I are still married.

"Mrs. Cullen," I corrected her, "Just tell me where she is. I need to speak with her."

She looks down at a couple papers behind her desk and looks back at me, "You're going to have to get an appointment."

I clench my jaw, "Why?"

"Only employees are allowed to walk back into the meeting area without an appointment. Well obviously because, you know they work here." My brain nearly explodes from what Rebecca just said. Employees? I take a calming breath and count to ten.

"Ms. Cullen…"

I cut her short, "I fucking told you Mrs. Cullen!" I blew up on her. I can't take it anymore. She flinched away from me and smoothed her hair down.

"Okay…um…I'm going to have to call security if you can't calm down."

I smile at her, "Rebecca. There is no need for that. You can go back to whatever you're doing and I will go see Elana." I swiftly walk away past her desk and into the office hallways. She yells after me but I'm a woman on a mission. No slowing me down. So much was going through my mind. Ms. Cullen. Only freaking employees. I don't go directly to Elana. Who knows? She might have me kicked out on the spot so I go to the one person who knows everything about everyone. Kyle.

I was about to knock on the door to the mailroom but he saw me first. He ran up to me frantic.

"Ms. Cullen! You're here! Wow! How'd you get through? Elana said you weren't working here anymore!"

My mouth kept opening and closing. It felt as if my brain was going to shut down on me. "Why are people calling me Ms. Cullen?"

"Mr. Dawson told us that you and Mr. Cullen were separated."

_What the hell._

My voice shook, "That's not true. That is…anything but the truth. Can you just tell me what going on?"

He stroked his chin, "I'm guessing you didn't listen to any of the voicemails, but basically she said if you weren't here by 11:45 you were fired. And since it about 12:15, I'd say you're half an hour late."

"This is straight bullshit." I walk out of the mailroom and pass one of the conference rooms with Jared sitting in a chair. He's eyeing one of the leggy interns as she speaks to him across the room. I barge in.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" I scream at him. I'm furious! How can he just come into my workplace and tell everyone that I was separated?

He seemed shocked but he relaxed as he looked at my expression, "Well, I'm Jared Smith Dawson. I knew you'd come back."

I try to slow my breathing and I storm over to the opposite side of the table he was sitting at. "Don't say a word. Not a fucking word, Jared. You come into my house and mess up my freaking night with him!" I can't even speak. My emotions were all over the place. "You ruined everything. My job is fucking gone! You tell people we're separated! What's wrong with you?"

He clasps his hands together and look right into my eyes, "I don't understand. Should I speak or not?" he smiles.

"Answer the damn question."

"One: I didn't make you lose your job. You're absences did. Two: I didn't tell people you guys were separated. I said divorced, but hey it's telephone in these types of places. And three: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? You come in here looking like a barbaric woman about to light a gasoline factory on fire."

My lips quiver as I listen to him. How dare he do this to me? "I told you more than once to leave me alone. To get out of my life. Why couldn't you just do that?"

Jared motions towards the other girl, "Cindy, can you give us a minute?" Once she walked out he stood up, "Bella, if you remember correctly, you're the one who came to _me_. You wanted to have sex with _me_. You had _me_ have sex with you." He pushed his body up against mine and spoke in my ear, "What exactly has changed?"

I shudder when I feel his breath on me. It's sickening that it was Edward's breath that was one me and now his. He walked away to draw the blinds for the conference windows. I turned around to watch him. My heart was beating a million times a second in my chest. I didn't know what to do. I was almost frozen in shock. He slowly back to me, "Hmm? What has changed, Bella?" He stood directly in front of me. Our noses were almost touching.

"I don't want you. I never did. I'm dealing with enough shit in my life right now," I spat at. His face got closer to mine and he placed his lips at my ear. I recoiled into the cold glass table in disgust. He kissed me below my ear. I quickly brought my hand up to slap him away but his hand caught hold of my wrist. I was met with instant pain that caused me to yelp.

"Don't do it, Bella. You'll only get hurt." His voice slid into my ears and infected my head. I was overcome by fear. Pure fear as to what he could do to me. It paralyzed my muscles and made it difficult to breathe.

My eyes watered, "You are sick." I pushed him away and he stood next to the table as I slowly back away from him.

"What happened that night was a mistake. Nothing more. You need to leave me alone."

He watched me as I spoke but he didn't say anything, "Understand?"

"Sure, I understand, but it's not like I want to."

I became frustrated, "Why not?"

He started chuckling to himself, "You're like the one who got away. Plus I give you an A+ in being a cocktease. "

I honestly wanted to cry but I did my best to hold in my emotions. I was embarrassed, humiliated, and most of all violated. "I'm leaving." I looked at his eyes while I cautiously as I walked past him. He gave me no trouble on leaving but he called out to me.

"I'll be calling, Ms. Cullen!" I grinded my teeth as I tried to hold whatever dignity I had left.

Sitting in Edward's car I just lost it. A woman should never have to be put in that position. He acts as if I'm a sex doll to him which is anything but the truth. He has no right talk to me like that. To touch me like that. And yet even though what he did puts him at the bottom, why did I feel so dominated by him? Like he's at the top. I can't tell Edward. I won't tell Edward. How could I tell him with all of this going on? I don't even know what's wrong with him. I don't know anything about anyone right now. I'm fired from my job because of an egotistical bitch name Elana Ortega. I've been groped by a man whore. And I don't even know if my husband wants to honestly move back in with me.

My phone started ringing.

**Incoming Call!**

**Carlisle and Esme**

Now what?

I answer.

"Hello?"

Esme silky voice comes through the line, "Hi, Bella. I know this maybe a little short notice, but would you mind coming with us for lunch?"

I smile. I'm being invited to lunch with the family.

"Um, yeah, sure. What are the plans? I'm already on my way to the house."

"Good!" She sounds genuinely delighted, "I'll talk to you when you get here, okay?"

"Okay, see you then." Well I guess every cloud does have a silver lining.

Once I carefully park Edward's car between two cars, I walk into the house. It surprised me that the door was unlocked. Maybe they did that for me? No, Bella. Don't think too positive now. I look around the house for Edward. Everywhere from the sitting room, office, bathroom, his bedroom, but he wasn't there. As I walked out into the infamous hallway, I noticed an indent in the wall. From the paint chipping, I can conclude that Edward has a good left hook. I heard low talking from Alice's bedroom. I didn't want to eavesdrop of you can't exactly tell your ears to stop listening.

Edward calmly says, "You can't keep interfering with my life. I don't want your advice. I don't want you coaching me. I'm sick and tired of you always saying something about anything."

Alice spoke up, "I don't mean to, but I just want you to be happy." She sounded like she was crying.

Edward wasn't buying it, "Bullshit. That's the lamest excuse you've ever given me. Just stop talking to me and Bella…" I stop listening because it's not right. I shouldn't be listening to them talking. I make sure to walk noisily down the hall and I try to find Esme. She did say she'd talk to me when I get home. I'm standing in the kitchen and all I hear is a quiet hum from a TV. I feel so out of place in this house. I truly don't know where to go when Edward isn't around. I'm a visitor. I walk down a hallway to the master bedroom and I knock on the door.

"Esme?" I call out. I see a faint light coming from the other side of the bedroom.

"Yes? Come in! I'm in the bathroom." I slowly enter the room. When you walk in the first thing you see in a large piano that has lighting over it that reflects the trim on it. Behind the piano you see their large bed with carved wooden poles going up to the ceiling. I stare in awe at it and I hear someone clear their throat.

"What are you doing?" My eyes shot over to a blonde girl sitting at the vanity in the bathroom. She looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't place it. Her legs though were gorgeous. My self esteem took a hit for ever mile long they were. She was wearing a blue cotton dress. It was simple but they way she wore it with her gold jewelry made it look like it were made of gold. I suddenly felt trashy in my shorts and heels.

"I was just looking at the carvings," I sounded like I was five years old.

I heard the opening and closing of makeup and soon Esme's voice, "Is that Bella? Bella come in."

I walked into the bathroom and I was again shocked by the massiveness of it. There was a large vanity area with a large mirror. There was a shower that looked like a sauna and their tub. Don't even get me started. I was just standing around looking at the bathroom.

"Well, don't be a stranger. You can sit on the counter next to me." She opened a new package of MAC pressed powder and started to put on her foundation. As she brushed it on she spoke to me, "So how was your day, Bella? Edward said you left for work."

Work. Oh yeah. How could I forget?

I ran my hands through my hair, "It was interesting. I left a lot earlier than I intended."

She nodded her head, "What made it interesting?"

I became nervous and I could feel a blush come over my face. I don't know what to say. I was fired? I almost had security called on my ass? Or should I say I was sexually groped by the guy that I cheated on your son with? How 'bout not.

"I can't really narrow it down. It was my whole time being there." It got awkwardly quiet and the blonde girl was obviously uninterested.

"Bye, Esme. I'll see you when we leave. I'm going to find Edward." Edward? No. They don't have a thing. He wouldn't even find her remotely attractive. No. He doesn't even like blondes. But those legs could make up for the fact. Bella you're kidding yourself. I watched as she left. Esme finished her foundation and turned towards me.

She lowered her voice, "How are you and Edward?"

I looked into her green eyes, "We're good. He seemed..." I was going to fill her in about this morning but I just left it out, "…fine."

She nodded, "You can see what I'm getting at. Last night. I'm guessing you guys had sex and you made it very know to Alice so that set her off. I've told Edward this before: No sex in the house. I don't want you guys having sex." Her tone was very condescending.

I looked at the ground, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Well you're responsible for your actions, Bella." I heard the hidden meaning in her words and my head snapped up to her.

I had to make sure she meant what I thought she meant, "What do you mean by that?"

She looked at me through the corners of her eyes, "I'm sure you and the whole family know what I mean about that." My eyes enlarged as she spoke. I was offended no doubt. I looked her in the eyes as I walked out of the bathroom. I tried to grasp what just happened in there. Did she just call me out on cheating on Edward? I was beyond shock and the moment I stepped into the kitchen all the chatter stopped. Alice, Emmett and Carlisle looked at me as I looked at them. I crossed my arms over my chest and walked faster out of the kitchen to get to the stairs. As if my day couldn't have got any worse, I walk on Edward in nothing but a towel. That's not the bad part. The blonde chick is straddling him rubbing his back. I nearly faint right there when Edward moans.

"That feels good. Don't stop." She laughs and goes lower on his back. I walk into his bathroom and slam the door shut. I'm going to make it known that I'm here. I'm not sorry that I had to disrupt their feeling session. My breathing quickens and my eyes begin to burn. I turn on the shower and slide down next to the tub. I'm going to go crazy in this house. There are people everywhere criticizing me. And the worst part is: Edward isn't by my side. I haven't seen him once since I've got home.

Someone knocks on the door and then opens it.

"Sorry, I just need some…" her eyebrows raise as she sees me sitting on the floor,"…water." She filled up her cup and began to walk out but she quickly turned around. "Are you okay?"

I stand up and turn off the shower. Slowly I turn towards back to face her, "Yeah, I just needed to…um…calm down. Turning on the shower…" She looked at me oddly. I stopped talking.

Edward came up behind her with only a towel on. "Hey, Bella. Glad to finally see you." She walked out leaving us alone. Edward closed the door behind her wrapped me in his arms. "How has your day been?"

I hold onto him tightly trying to fight away the tears, but I can't. This day has been so tough on me. Tougher than I imagined. He walks us over to the shower and turns it on. He holds me tighter. It feels good to cry. It's more of a release. I'm crying from the embarrassment Jared and Esme caused me. I'm crying for me losing my job. I'm crying because I'm stuck in this stupid house with people that hate me. I started feeling dizzy from hyperventilating.

"Bella…Bella…you need to breath. Calm down and tell me what's wrong."

"Where should I start?" I chuckle as we sit on the side of the tub.

"What happened most recent?"

I become sad again as I remember Edward with her, "Who's that blonde chick?"

"What…? Oh, that's Rosalie. You've met her before,"

I rummage through my mind to find any sort of memory about her but I get nothing.

"I don't remember her, but after I come up from downstairs I see her straddling you and you moaning. What do you think that looks like?"

He thought for awhile and started to smile. He kissed me on the lips and smiled again. "Bella, she was giving me a massage. She's in training to be a masseuse."

Wow I feel stupid. "So she was just massaging you just for the heck of it?" I still don't like the idea of him getting random massages from her.

"No, I hurt my back lifting boxes in the garage with Emmett and Dad. She said she learned something new so she said she'd try it out on me."

Well. That explains things.

"Don't feel stupid, Bella. It was an honest mistake. What else happened today?"

I don't even feel like talking anymore. I feel stupid. No matter how many times he tells me to not feel stupid, I will.

"I talked your mom or she at least talked to me." Edward beamed.

"You did? What did you guys talk about?"

I hesitated, "Our relationship." I looked at him.

"Yeah, go on."

I took a deep breath, "She said the real reason she wanted to talk to me was to talk about you. She said we can't have sex." I looked at Edward and he rolled his eyes. "She said she told you before."

He shook his head, "That's complete and utter bullshit. Alice and Jasper have had sex in the house. Mom knows about it, too."

"She got mad at me, Edward. She acted as if I made you have sex with me. She made me feel dirty. It didn't help that Alice told her that we were being loud." He scrunched his brows together and shook his head.

"I don't care what she thinks about me having sex. It shouldn't bother her." It was obvious that Edward was becoming annoyed. I don't know if I should tell him the rest, but he wouldn't believe that I was crying over us not being able to have sex.

"Then I said I was sorry and she said I have to be responsible for my actions. I was taken back by this because it could obviously mean two things so I asked her and she said I and the family know what she was talking about."

Edward raised one of his brows as he slightly opened his mouth. I heard his breathing quicken as he placed his head in his hands. All I could do was watch him. I feared that he would be mad at his mom for the way she spoke to me. I placed my hand on his back but he shrugged it off. My hand felt as if it were placed on a hot stove. Burned. Hurt.

"I'm sorry, I'm just pretty angry right now. Why would she say that to you? Why?"

I left out the part about me walking into the kitchen. It would only set him off even more. I turned off the shower and sat down to watch him. He was pacing back and forth, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Edward, what are you thinking about?"

He stopped and looked at me. His eyes livid. "I'm thinking about how fucking nosy they are! They don't know when to back the hell up and let me deal with my marriage." I listened to his voice shake off the walls of the bathroom. I'm sure you could hear his voice in the hallway, but he wasn't that loud. I knew he wasn't yelling at me. I knew he wasn't taking it out on me. He was venting. He walked out of the bathroom to put on some clothes. I followed him. I think this is the time to tell him about the Elana situation.

"And I lost my job."

He froze while putting on a button down. He slowly turned towards me. "How? Why?"

"I missed a meeting this morning and she said if I wasn't at the office by eleven thirty then, poof, there goes my job." I look down at the ground. I felt worthless. I can't even hold a job.

Edward's mood softened and he placed his hands around mine, "How do you feel about it?"

"Pretty sucky. Jared didn't make it a pleasurable experience, I can tell you that." I mentally my head against the wall when I brought up Jared.

"Wha-What? He was there? Did he touch you?" Did he touch me? If you consider someone placing their body against yours touching. If you consider kissing touching. If you consider grabbing touching. Then yes. He did touch me. I look away from Edward's eyes, but he followed me wherever I looked.

"Bella, did he put his hands on you?"

I try not to look at his face but I failed, "You let him put his hands on you?" His face showed nothing but shock and disgust. I shook my head as I tried to keep myself from crying.

"No to what, Bella? You need to tell me!" He kept trying to search my eyes for any clues, but he found none. "What did he do, Bella?"

I shook my head again, "I didn't let him touch me." That's all I said. It was vague enough that Edward would think Jared didn't touch me.

Edward stayed silent as he thought about what I said to him. He repeated me, "You didn't let him touch you."

"No, I didn't let him touch me." I wish he would drop the subject. Revisiting being in the conference room with him was almost traumatic. He scared me more than I could imagine. He stripped away the confidence that I had and spat on it. I looked at Edward and seemed unconvinced. But he doesn't understand. I can't have him worrying. At least not about that. So I let him believe that is all that happened. I willed him to let it go. Just to let it go and hug me. And he did.

"Don't scare me like that again. Okay, Bella?" His voice was unsteady. He was obviously shaken up by the amount contact this man still had with me. I'm shaken up by the amount of contact this man will have with me. We lay in bed as we think about what happened. My head is on his chest. His heartbeat fills my head. The low rumble when he talks snaps me out of my reverie.

"What did you say?" His fingers play with mine.

"Are you going to look for another job?"

I sigh, "Yea. Hopefully I can get another one in the same field of work."

Edward doesn't seem too sold on the idea.

"Do you not like it?" I ask him.

He scratches his nose, "I mean whatever floats your boat. To be honest with you, you don't _have_ to work. The business is growing which means more money so you don't _have_ to work."

I never viewed myself as a stay-at-home wife. I scrunched my nose, "What would I do all day?"

He shrugged, "Watch daytime television and get fat?"

He's got to be kidding. I'll give him five seconds.

"I'm kidding, of course." Hmm…only took two. I placed my arm over him and I kissed his lips.

"I love you, Edward." He whispered he loved me as fervently kissed my lips. I straddle him while we're kiss and he props his legs up so I can lean back on them.

"You're beautiful, Bella." I smiled. He took off my shirt as I tried to unbutton his shirt. It wasn't the easiest task so he pulled both of the shirts over his head.

I teased him, "Now, now no sex, Edward! No sex!" He laughed loudly.

"Fuck her and her rules!" He squeezed my butt as I started to kiss him. He groaned in my mouth.

"Edward!" I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. That voice did not come from me.

"Damn you sound like…" The blood flow finally got to his other head and he realized who said his name. I rolled off of Edward and he sat in front of me so I was hidden from his mom.

"What are you doing?" Edward was alarmed.

Esme's eyes went back and forth between the two of us, "Obviously my rules aren't that important to you, Edward!" I ran my hand through my hair and looked for mine and Edward's shirt. This is so embarrassing.

"Mom, I'm an adult." Like she cares, Edward.

"So?" See? Told you. "I was coming up here to tell you guys we're leaving early." Esme swiftly turned around and started to walk away, but she paused. "Oh and when you're done disrespecting me; learn to close your door." She stormed out. I awkwardly hand Edward his shirts once I had mine on. I sat on the bed next to him and placed my hands in my lap.

"Bring on the blue balls," Edward sighed, got up from on the bed and walking into his bathroom. I was at a loss of words. I didn't know what to say or what to think of what just happened. The only thing I can think of is how uncomfortable lunch is going to be.

_To Be Continued_


	9. Or Can It Get Worse Part 2

Listen To Words

Chapter 9

"Or Can It Get Worse Part 2"

I made sure that Edward walked down the stairs to where everyone was first. There was no way I was going to put myself in that position. For some reason Edward sauntered down the stairs like he had no care in the world. I looked at all the faces in the front room of the house while standing at the foot of the stairs. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Alice. Rosalie. No Jasper. It doesn't surprise me he wasn't there though. He said he was gone. He must true to his word. I couldn't linger on Alice's face too long. It was a classic poker face but there was something else there. I couldn't put my finger on it, though.

"Well, I'm ready." Edward obnoxiously put his sunglasses on, grabbed my hand, and we walked out to the car. "Get in," he ordered me. He started the car and just leaned his head against the headrest as we waited for everyone else to get into their cars. Silence. It filled the car and all I could hear was the laughter from Emmett as he and Rosalie got into his Range Rover. At least they were having a fun time.

Slowly one by one we all pulled out of the driveway. Edward closely followed behind Emmett making me nervous. God forbid Emmett making a quick stop. I looked at his face and he seemed calm. Better than before.

I placed my hand on top of his, "You okay?"

Glancing at me, "Yeah, I'm fine. I really didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that they get on my nerves."

I nodded my head. They get on mine, too, Edward. They get on mine, too. I remembered what Alice said to Edward last night. About how he was depressed. I wanted to ask him about it but something in my head told me not to ask it, that it would only lead into an argument but of course I didn't listen.

"How did you feel the days you left?" The words floated in the air between us. Almost putting a damper on the mood. No, almost isn't the right word. Immediately was better suiting.

"I was sad." I waited for him to say more, but he didn't.

I pushed further, "Alice said you were depressed."

He exhaled noisily, "I wasn't depressed, Bella."

I wanted him to tell me how he felt. What he was thinking. He's not telling me anything. "Then how were you feeling? What were you thinking about?"

He was becoming irritated again. It was a sensitive topic, but I needed to know. "You really want to know, Bella?" I nodded my head. "I was going to divorce you. I planned on never speaking to you again. I didn't want to look at you. I didn't even want to think of you." He let those words sink in. He was right. I didn't want to hear what he said. But that didn't stop him. "But the night that honestly changed my mind was when I came over for dinner. Seeing you again just changed everything that I had thought out those previous days." He looked at me and kissed my hand. "But don't think that I didn't know that guy was there, Bella."

This conversation was like a plane with one working engine. It was just doomed from the start. I wish I hadn't talked to him about this in the first placed. I was uneasy. I stared out of my window. "I could see his body through the door." I didn't make an effort to say one word.

He was persistent, "Why'd you let him in?"

I inwardly groaned. Why, Bella? Why'd you have to ask him. But this conversation is needed. He needs answers just like I needed my answers. "He kind of barged in. I opened the door thinking it was you and there he was. Before I knew it, he was inside."

"Hmm."

Silence. Again.

Finally after three streets, four turns, and two exits on the highway, yes I was counting, Edward broke the silence. "Are you happy, Bella?"

Am I happy? I'm ecstatic to be with him if that's what he means. "Happy as in…"

"Happy with me."

I was baffled. How could he…but then I remembered. I _did_ have sex with another man. "I'm on cloud nine just being with you again." He glanced at me but then looked back at the road. We hit traffic on the highway and we were moving painstakingly slow. The vibe in the car wasn't the most comfortable.

His voice was soft, "Why does he look like me?" His question confused me more than the last one.

I looked at him. His voice was louder this time, "He looks just like me, Bella."

Staring at my hands I tried to come up with an answer. I vaguely remembered the night. Or at least the specifics, but I knew no matter how drunk I was I wouldn't sleep with some random guy. I didn't want to talk about why I slept with Jared, but I'd have to tell him sometime. How do I word my answer? "I thought he was you."

His eyes narrowed as he took in my answer. "I honestly thought he was you. I'm sorry Edward. I…"

If I was in his position it would be a blow to my ego. My own wife couldn't even tell the difference between me and another man. Me and another _naked_ man. I hope this blows over soon. I can't take hurting Edward anymore. I just want to go home, go to sleep, and wake up from this nightmare.

Only if it was that easy.

We eventually got to the restaurant after Emmett took a few wrong turns. The car ride wasn't bad. We were both okay with the silence. Or from what I could tell we were both okay. Edward shut the car off and turned towards me. I placed my hand on his cheek. "I love you, even if you may think otherwise." We leaned towards each other and shared a kiss. All of a sudden loud banging from the driver side window broke us apart.

Emmett had his head smashed against the window, "We're here to eat food not each other's faces!"

I laughed at his goofiness. Edward yelled back, "Get your face off my window!"

Emmett left his face and we could see his tongue slowly coming out of his mouth. "No he is not." Edward quickly opened the door, knocking Emmett's nose.

"Damn, Edward! You always take things too far!" We stepped out of the car and I walked over to look at Emmett's face.

Edward defended himself, "No I don't. If you didn't lick my window, none of this would've happened." Edward took my hand and we walked into Macaroni Grill. "Plus, you're cleaning my window." Turns out Carlisle put us down for a reservation so we were able to be seated automatically. That's good because I haven't eaten since last night come to think of it.

I realized Alice rode with Carlisle and Esme rather than with Emmett and Rosalie. To be honest I didn't notice she was here until she sat diagonally across the table from me. She was oddly quiet. Emmett was on my left and Edward was sitting across from me. There was an empty seat next to me. I felt sort of ousted sitting next to an empty chair but Carlisle assured me that someone was coming. Esme didn't take one look at me since Edward and I last saw her. Neither did Alice. It's sort of okay but awkward at the same time. The small talk and chatter was sometimes disconnected since some of us weren't talking. I looked over at Edward and smiled at me. Apparently my discomfort was evident. He nudged my foot and cocked his head, silently asking me what's wrong. I slightly shook my head.

I'm still wishing the same thing.

I wish I never had sex with Jared.

But nothing will change.

I was in and out of the conversation. Mainly because I couldn't focus on it. I just kept thinking about Edward. And how he doesn't feel I'm happy to be with him. I don't want him to feel like he's not worth my time. I have to show him. Our waiter finally came and took our order. It was a young kid. Probably no older than nineteen. His eyes lingered on me longer than they should and it seemed the _entire_ table noticed. I adjusted my blouse and fixed my hair hoping to get rid of the attention. Edward was busy on his phone texting someone so he wouldn't have known what happened.

My mood was so-and-so. I wasn't feeling the vibe around the table and I definitely wasn't feeling the glances from Esme. So maybe I looked completely uninterested with the conversation, but at this point I didn't care. I was over today. Stirring my iced tea was the only thing that captured my attention.

Edward's hand wrapped around my shoulders and he kissed my cheek. He snapped me out of my thoughts. I missed quite a few things such as Edward getting up to sit beside to me and Jasper sitting in front of me. I pulled what little energy I had left and devoted it to having a nice lunch with the ever so loved _family._

Kenny, or at least that's what his name tag said, informed us that our food will be out in ten minutes. I looked at him wondering why someone would tell you ten minutes. Why not five?

"Thanks, man," Emmett answered. I took a sip of my drink. I think I'm going to need something stronger to get me through this lunch but I'm going to against my needs. I was tempted to call Kenny back and tell him to get the strongest drink back there, but I getting a drink would only instigate things.

Emmett turned towards me, "How you doing, Bella. I haven't heard much about you." Even though what he just said was a total lie. I admired the fact that he's trying to make conversation.

"I'm okay." I stopped talking. He continued to look at me expecting me to carry on.

His expression faltered and he leaned back from me, "Oh. That's good." I just nodded at him and drank some more of my tea. Rosalie, who was sitting across from him, gave him a questioning look and he just shrugged. Again I felt guilty. I shouldn't shut Emmett out just because I was having a _really_ crappy day. He was just trying to help.

"Emmett," He turned towards me, "don't take it personally. I've had a really… unpleasant day. It has sucked beyond belief." He slowly nodded his head.

"Yeah, well you can't let that keep you down. Find something good and focus on that. That's what I do."

Let's see. Find something good about today. Nope. Couldn't find anything. Nice try though Emmett. I genuinely smiled at him.

Esme spoke to the entire table, "Does anyone have good news?"

The table was quiet as everyone looked around. Jasper scratched his nose. Alice shifted in her seat. No one talked.

"Well, here's something good," Carlisle replied, "Tanya is down for the week." Edward's face immediately lit up.

"She is?"

Carlisle nodded his head, "Yes, she called me I think last Wednesday. She has a nursing conference in Seattle so she won't be with us long, but she's down here this week. I think she's leaving this Sunday."

Emmett pumped his fist in the air, "Time to party!" Edward laughed in response. I, personally, was confused, perplexed, puzzled, baffled, and downright befuddled on who this Tanya was. I've never heard of her. Ever. Not even when I was just _friends_ with Edward. I kept looking between Edward and Emmett.

"Who is Tanya?"

In no time Edward and Emmett started talking to me about whom she was, but I couldn't understand a single word they were saying. They were finishing each other's sentences, jumping to other topics, and just plain annoying.

I threw my hands up in the air, "Okay! Okay! I get it!"

Carlisle laughed, "She's a close family friend, Bella."

"Oh, okay." I smiled but as my eyes met with Esme's, it faded. She was cautiously watching me. What is this woman's problem?

Edward clued me in as well, "She's really cool, Bella. I'm sure you two will get along."

I hope we'll get along. I've never met or even heard of this chick. I mentally shook my head. If Edward says we'll get along, we will. Stop being so pessimistic, lighten up and put your best foot forward.

I smiled up at Edward, "Then I can't wait to meet her."

Esme stirred her drink, "Edward and Tanya have been friends for over…" she tapped her chin, "How long, Edward?"

"Eh…well since I was a kid."

Esme looked into my eyes, "They're really close, Bella. I'm surprised Edward hasn't told you about her. Why haven't you told her about Tanya?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Time, I guess. After high school ended we just grew apart."

Was he _that_ oblivious to Esme's pestering?

Emmett spoke up, "Yeah, I remember when I left. All communication stopped. That's when the 'T Double E' became 'TE'. You guys kicked me out of my own group." Emmett jokingly glared at Edward. Edward causally shook it off.

Curiously looking at Edward's face I wondered how close he and Tanya actually were. Did we getting together pull him way from her? Does he miss her? Esme and Emmett made it seem like they were best friends not close friends.

Our food arrived and the rest of the dinner was pleasant, even with Esme's subtle downplays on our relationship. Once we got into the car my mood was ten thousand times better. Edward seemed happier, too.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

His eyes stayed on the road, "As in?"

"In general,"

"Happy, but I should really be asking about how you feel."

I cocked my head, "Why?"

"You seemed out of it in there. What's up?"

Finally, I can express how I really feel. I can tell him how his mom is slowly eating away at my patience. How she's meticulously planning the downfall of our marriage, but then something in the back of my head stopped me. I realized I can't continue to undermine the relationships he has with his family. I've done enough. I told myself that I don't show him that I love him and now is my turning point. I am going to accept his mother no matter how many times she takes a hit at me, I'm going to accept his two-faced sister who has been nothing but a fake, and I'm going to accept the other important woman in his life, Tanya, no matter how she is because that _is_ what a wife should do. That is what I'm going to do.

"Bella? Hello?" Maybe my pep talk took a little bit longer than I thought.

"I was just thinking about our talk in the car, but I'm fine now because we're ok."

He didn't say anything back. He just continued to drive so I decided to make some conversation.

"So we're going back to the house?"

He glanced my way, "Yeah, I mean, do you not want to?"

My heart dropped a little. Even after everything that's happened he still wants to stay? Why? I just don't get it.

"I don't understand, just two hours ago you said you couldn't stand being there and now you want to stay?"

"It's complicated, Bella."

I involuntarily squinted my eyes, "_Complicated._"

"You heard Carlisle, Tanya's here. I haven't seen her in probably five years, Bella."

"I know and I have no problem with you seeing her. She can come over to our house, for all I care, as long as you're there, too."

"Ok then we can go back to the house tonight."

I beamed with victory and turned my face out to my window.

"I know you smiling over there," He playfully grabbed my chin and then laced his finger in between mine. "It _is_ going to be nice to be in our own bed again." He smirked.

"It'll be nice to have our own privacy again,"

When all of us returned to the house everyone seemed to disperse.

I grabbed Edward's hand, "Come on, let's pack." He hesitated.

"Wait."

_What now?_

"Don't look at me like that." He smiled, "I have to go to work to check on something."

"Do you have to?"

He drew me into him, "Yes I have to, but I'll be back around eight and we can pack then."

_Eight?_ The number seemed to float around my mind and postpone time. He honestly expects me to be in this house, with no car, for four hours.

"How about I just pack our stuff?"

Shaking his head, "No, we have to tell my mom and dad that we're leaving tonight."

He was right. If this family situation was to get any better it would have to start now. With communication.

I tried to step back away from him but he held me against him, "You're not mad at me are you?"

"Mad? No, but I wish you didn't have to go, you know?"

"Yea, I know," He kissed my forehead and ran upstairs.

My time alone starts now. I could either twiddle my fingers and toes or do something the least productive. I eventually made my way out the backyard. Swimming would be great but of course I don't have a bathing suit. Only if I had my car, but a car would leave me too much temptation to escape. I sat on the edge, took of my heels, and dipped my feet into the water. A smile appeared on my face. Edward and I are back together. It's like a chant that makes my heart race.

"I have a bathing suit that you can use. Well, you left it here one summer."

My splashing feet froze as Alice spoke. I cautiously answered, "I wasn't planning on getting in," I turned around to look at her, "Thank you, though." I stared back at the water.

I heard her sit on the lounge chair near me. I assumed she was thinking. Of course I was thinking positive, she could be planning on kicking me in and drowning me but that idea is crazy.

Her voice was barely a whisper, "I'm sorry."

My eyes scrunched up, "What?"

"I'm sorry, Bella." I looked at her to see if she was shitting me. She wasn't. She was sincere, apologetic.

"Why are you saying this to me?"

"I've been thinking." She laughed darkly to herself, "I've been thinking a lot this past day."

I turned my attention to the stone waterfall.

"I had no right to interfere with you and Edward's relationship. It was infantile, insecure and I want to say I'm sorry."

"Okay."

Then there was silence. I didn't know how to take Alice apologizing to me. I didn't know what say, to feel, or even really to think. She caught me off guard.

"You're probably wondering why I am saying this and well," she paused, "Edward and I were always close, he's my twin, and well when he met you he automatically gravitated towards you. I felt abandoned to say the least. I didn't mean to conspire against, Bella. I didn't plan on being fake with you. I don't even remember when I stopped liking you and started hating you. I just felt left out in the dust by him."

"Why are you telling me this? Why not him?"

"Because he wants me and you to get along. He said he'd pick you over me due to my past breakouts."

He said he pick me over his sister? I slowly shook my head. He shouldn't be alienating himself away from his family for me. I need to patch things up with everyone. Alice's words clicked in my head.

"You're only talking to me so he'll talk to you again?" That's twisted.

Alice immediately backtracked, "No! I mean I care for Edward, and who Edward cares about, I care about, too."

I took my legs out of the water and stood up. Alice stood as well and handed me a towel that was placed behind her. "I figured you would need it."

I tentatively reached for the towel and dried off my legs. "Thanks." She sat down. I finally became conscious of what Alice and I have in common in this very moment. We're both trying to regain back the trust and love from the same man, except she has another man she has to worry about.

"I'm sorry about you and Jasper. If I hadn't-"

She cut me short, "No, Bella, don't take the blame. What he told me was true. I only have myself to blame on how things went down these past few days. This week, even."

I picked at the towel and thought. I tried to comprehend the fact that Alice had actually hated me all this time. "So from when to when were you being fake, Alice?"

Her head snapped towards me, "What do you mean?"

"My wedding, the engagement party, or just now; was it all fake?"

Her eyes softened, "No, Bella. It was real. I was genuinely happy for you guys. I _am_ genuinely happy for you guys. You guys getting back together shows that anything can happen really," she mumbled the last part. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. Those words should've never come out of my mouth let alone enter my thoughts. It was the little sister inside of me that was speaking, that believed no one was good enough to have her brother, when really it should've been the woman inside of me accepting what was happening. We all have to grow up sometime, right?" She chuckled to herself as she stood up. "I hope I made some sort of sense, Bella." She started to walk away.

Each step that she took, my mind tugged at me. I couldn't let her walk away thinking that I didn't accept her. "Alice, wait." She halted in front of the door, "I promised Edward that I'd accept him and everyone that is a part of his life is a part of mine. Plus I'd really love to go for a swim."

A small smile crept on her face and she opened the door, "Come on up, Bella."

Her room was almost exactly how I remembered it. A cute but sophisticated theme of violet, black and white fitted her personality. I could tell subtle differences, though. She had gotten an armoire to fit more of her clothes but as I looked closely most of was filled with Jasper's clothes. As I made the realization, I could see more of his stuff in the room. His guitar, his shoes, jackets, shirts, hats. Everywhere.

"Here it is. Do you think it will fit?"

"Yeah, I may be a little fit fuller,"

"Well, I'll let you change. I'm going to find Rosalie and then we can all get into the pool."

She left and her room was quiet. Reflecting on our last conversation, I can honestly say she's trying. I don't know if I can trust her though. She was ridiculous the last time she spoke or even the times before that. I'll keep my distance. I placed my bikini top on and, oh my goodness, my breasts were going to fall out. I guess in a good way?

Someone knocked on my door, "Are you changed?" Then someone burst in. Rosalie. She was wearing a black metallic one piece that exposed her stomach and back. She stopped in her tracks.

"Well I'll be. Look at this hot momma." I self-consciously placed my hand over my shoulder covering the top half of my body.

Alice stepped around her, "Wow, Bella you have definitely filled out."

We walked back out the pool and Alice turned on the fountains and lights. It looked beautiful out here. The sun was starting to set. Although it was a little chilly, she assured us that the water was heated.

Rosalie walked over on top of the stone waterfall, "This water better be warm, Cullen."

Alice laughed as she dived into the water.

Walking away to set the towels down she said, "I'm so dead." In seconds Rosalie shot up from under the water shivering and yelling.

"What the fuck? It's freezing in here!"

Alice burst out laughing, "And? I didn't tell you to go jump in the water."

Rosalie got out of the water and it was like a movie. The way the water dripped off her was almost erotic. My self-esteem took another hit. She quickly snatched Alice and she threw both of them in the water. I flinched from the cold water droplets that hit my skin. It was amusing to see the two of them fighting. They were like best friends. That made me think again. Who _is _Rosalie?

"Bella, come in the water!" Rosalie waved me in.

I stepped to the edge of the stone, "Are you sure it's warm?"

She laughed, "Just come in!"

I jumped in and my body was welcomed by the calming warm water. We swam for awhile talking about each other's lives, what we do for a living. It was nice to have a chat with girls. Something I haven't been able to do in awhile.

I decided to ask Rosalie, "Who are you anyways?"

She adjusted her top and scrunched her eyebrows, "What?"

"I mean, who are you? I've never met you before,"

Alice swam over to us, "You've met her before. Remember at the party? We all had drinks at the bar before we left."

That night. "Sorry, I don't remember much from that night."

Rosalie snorted, "Well you _were_ drunk off your rocker, but I'm Emmett's girlfriend."

I danced inside. So she's not single. She's not here for Edward. "Wow. I thought you had a thing for Edward with what happened earlier today."

She laughed, "I'm sorry about that. I can totally understand how you felt. It looked…"

"Wha-What happened?" Alice, clueless, looked around.

"Bella walked in to me giving Edward a massage. Nothing to worry about, really." A smile spread on her face, "But if I were you I'd be worried about another girl." Alice playfully hit Rosalie's arm.

"Don't say it like that."

My eyes darted between the two of them, "Who?"

Alice floated to the shallow end and sat down in the water, "Tanya, but really, Bella, don't be worried."

Rosalie and I followed her, "Why should I be worried? They're friends, right?"

Rosalie mumbled, "Friends with benefits," Alice shot daggers at Rosalie. "I'm just kidding. Let's just say that Tanya is more of a guys' girl."

A guys' girl.

"So I shouldn't be worried?"

Alice turned towards me, "Honestly, Bella? He's married to you. Why would he give up those jugs for some ugly blonde?" She jokingly laughed. I tried to laugh but my mind was racing. What if Tanya could pull Edward away from me?

Rosalie came up beside me, "Don't worry about it. I've met her before, she isn't all that."

"Has she and Edward dated?"

Alice looked up in thought, "Probably back in high school or something. Maybe middle school? I don't remember."

"Oh." So this Tanya could be Edward's ex. Edward's ex that has the heart of the whole family. What did I get myself into?

"Why are you so threatened by her?" I looked up at Rosalie. "You haven't even met her. Don't worry about her until she's physically here. If she's not physically here, she technically doesn't exist. Therefore you have no problems."

I slightly smiled, "True, but I told Edward that she could come over anytime."

Both their smiles faded, "Well then she'll probably spend every waking moment with Edward. That's what she did when she came to visit Emmett." Rosalie patted me on the back, "Good luck, chickie. Do you guys want to watch a movie? It'll pass time."

We watch _Hitched_. It was an enjoyable comedic romantic movie. It was oddly what I needed to take my mind off of Tanya. Which reminds me, Edward is supposed to be back by now. Alice was silently crying as she ranted about how stupid Alex was. My mind faded as I tried to think of the time.

"Alice, what times is it?"

She stopped talking and looked at her phone, "A quarter to nine, but listen if Alex didn't take her to Ellis Island…"

I stopped listening. A quarter to nine? Edward should be home by now. He _did_ say eight. I mumbled something to them and quickly made my way upstairs to Alice's room where my phone was.

No new messages.

I stared, mystified, at my phone imagining where Edward could be. Should I call him?

_No. he's probably caught up at work._

What if something happened?

_Highly unlikely. _

Maybe I should just check?

_No, give him his space. _

I placed my phone back on the dresser and stepped back. I must have been so focused on the phone that I didn't hear Rosalie calling my name.

"You okay?"

My body jumped. "Um…yes, I'm fine."

She stared at me doubtfully. "Are you sure you're _fine_?"

I fessed up, "Edward was supposed to be back an hour ago."

She stared at me as I looked back at her, "And?"

I suddenly felt stupid again, "…and I was thinking of calling him?"

She snickered, "Grow a backbone girl. He's not here, so what?"

"Well…" I struggled to speak, "he promised me that we were going to leave tonight."

"Do you not want to stay here?"

This is coming out wrong, "No, well, yes. I mean, I don't even have clothes for tonight let alone tomorrow. I don't have my car."

Rosalie placed her hands on my shoulders, "Stop freaking out. I can take you over to your house if you really want me to."

"No, it's okay. I'll just call him." I grabbed my phone and we went back into the family room where Alice was sitting on the couch.

Rosalie informed Alice, "Edward's gone AWAL. Bella's going to find out what's up."

"Don't say it like that, Rosalie." I dialed his number.

First ring.

Second ring.

Third ring.

Fourth ring.

"Edward Cullen is unavailable right now, but it'd be great if you leave your name and number and-"

I hung up.

Rosalie's eyes were sympathetic, "Call again, maybe he didn't hear it?"

He must have not heard it three more times. The fourth time I called, the call was ignored.

I put my head in my hands. I felt Alice place her arms around me, "Bella, you can't let this get to you. He could be in a meeting. He said the business was growing."

"I know he's at work and you guys are right. This shouldn't be getting to me. Rosalie, can you take me home?"

Alice froze looking at me, "You're leaving just like that?"

Rosalie held a hand out for Alice, "No, I'm just taking her home for her to get her car. You're coming, too."

"Well, we'll help you pack."

Within half an hour, we were out of the house. Anything and everything about Edward was running through my mind. I couldn't understand why he had ignored my calls.

"So this is where Edward and Bella Cullen live." She pulled into our driveway and parked near the front door.

We walked upstairs and I was happy that I had cleaned the house before Edward came over. Placing my bags on the bed Rosalie walked into my side of the closet, "Damn."

"I know, she has tons of clothes," Alice followed in after Rosalie. I could follow them. We could go over all of my dresses, blouses, skirts, shoes, and sandals. But I sat on the bed lost in a train of thought. I'm sure Edward will notice I'm gone. Then he'll call and ask where I am. I took the clothes out of my bag and placed them in the hamper. I saw clothes of Edward's in there from last week. Might as well do some laundry. Some more time passed, and I asked if Alice and Rosalie would like to stay. I made them food and we all ate. I enjoyed hanging out with them. It was calming, careless, almost as if I was a teenager again. I could say anything and they would understand.

When we finished our food, Alice made her way to the family room. "Want to watch something?"

Rosalie piped up, "As long as we're not watching Lifetime, I'm good." She turned towards me, "Never watch Lifetime with her. It's a death wish."

I laughed as Alice pouted, "_Mimi's First Time_ is the best movie ever, though."

"No Lifetime." Rosalie was stern. As she flipped through the channels, I looked at the overhead clock.

_10:41. _Nothing from Edward.

I can't let this get to me. It's probably nothing, "What's so bad about that movie?" Might as well enjoy myself. Rosalie was right. So what if Edward wasn't here?

Rosalie glared at Alice, "She's convinced that the girl, Mimi, looks just like me."

Alice laughed, flipping through more channels, "She seriously looks like a brown haired younger version of Rosalie."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

After three episodes of _Cake Boss_ and an episode of _Big Cat Diary_, Rosalie and Alice called it a night.

Rosalie stood up, "I'm sorry, Bella, but this 'Wait for Edward' plan is cutting into my beauty sleep. Call us when he gets home?"

I stared at the black screen of the TV. It's nearly one in the morning and Edward isn't here.

Sighing, "Thanks, you guys. Really."

I let them out the house and slowly closed the door. The small click echoed in the empty house. Loneliness, we meet again, dear friend. Making my way to the kitchen table, I thought about how I really don't have friends. It's almost as if when I met Edward I ditched all the friends I had in college and replaced them with Edward. I wonder if that's how it was for him. No, he has friends. He hangs out with them all the time, we go to their parties, weddings. I place my hands on my head.

I need to get a life.

Outside of Edward.

Of course this thinking could be brought on by the sudden ditching of Edward but everything happens for a reason. I'll call him _one_ more time.

There was loud music in the background and people screaming, "Hello?"

"Edward?"

Loud static filled my ears and I heard a woman's voice calling Edward's name. She said something that caused him to laugh. "Hello?"

I tried speaking up, "Edward, where are you?"

Again he didn't answer. It was clearly evident that this conversation was going nowhere.

"Bella? I'm sorry…came in…before I…we went…I'm…call…I…she's…over…"

My eyes fluttered as I attempted to comprehend the mangled sentence. The music was so loud that his voice was drowned out at times.

"What?"

Edward yelled louder, "Bella, I can't hear you!"

"No shit, Sherlock!" I honestly meant to say that in my head.

"Are..mad?"

I was frustrated, "Edward, you call me when you actually give a crap, okay?"

More static and mangled voices, "What?"

I hung up. What the hell? The only thing this so-called conversation did was make me mad. Mad because my husband who was supposedly working is at some freaking bar when he should've been home five hours ago. I stormed up to our room and I slammed the door. Needles to say I did it just for the heck of it because his ears were been flooded by stupid rave music. I threw back the covers, popped inside, and I let myself stew in the bed waiting for him to return. As my anger subsided my body succumbed to the sleep that washed over me.

Two short hours later, I was jolted awake by the alarm going off. My body tensed and immediately relaxed as I remembered it was Edward. Groggily, I turned to the alarm clock to the see the time and instantly I wanted to smash it.

_3:47 AM_

Freaking three in the morning. I made an effort to remember that I'm a good wife. An understanding wife. A livid wife who wants some answers. There's no reason that he should be coming home at basically four in the morning without giving me some sort of heads up. I flew down the stairs but halted as I heard him talking to someone. A girl someone. If this is some sick way of getting back at me…

The girl's voice rang through the house, "It looks stellar in here! Looks like I taught someone well."

Think again, chick, 'cause I designed most of the house. From the wall colors, to the floors, and even to light switch plates so hit me with your next best shot. Edward's voice was faint as he mumbled something in response.

"She did? Oh, is she here?" I heard the moving of some bags and then Edward exhaling.

"Why do you have all this shit anyways?" Laughing she softly said something. This was my time. My grand entrance was now.

"What the hell, Edward?" His eyes snapped at me as I walked up to him and a busty blonde. I looked her up and down. She was wearing low-rise jeans with a white tank top. Her breasts were practically spilling out of her shirt and I highly doubt they're even in her bra.

"Bella, don't be mad…"

I perched an eyebrow, "Don't be mad? Okay, I'll try to be calm when I'm just now seeing my husband nearly six hours after he said he'd be back. I mean, what do you even do during that time?"

He walked up to me and placed his hands on my arms, "Bella, listen to me. I'm sorry I didn't call you. I got wrapped in with things at work…" His voice was hushed so the busty blonde couldn't hear him.

I raised my voice, "Really at work, huh? Well it was nice of you to tell me that you were going to be late. I'm so glad that you didn't mind leaving me at your parent's house without any fucking way home. I am so glad that you were thinking tonight, Edward. What happened to 'Let's tell my parents that we're leaving tonight'?" The entire time he was saying my name over and over again but I wasn't having it. Finally he shook me making me stop yelling. I stared at him as he frantically looking between my eyes.

"Bella, I'm trying to tell what happened. Can you just listen?" He was visibly frustrated, as well.

Good so we're now on the same page, "No. How about next time, when you want to come home in the wee hours of the morning, you do it without bringing home some random girl?"

Ms. Busty Blonde was awkwardly standing there with her hands in her back pockets peeking at me.

"Bella, that's Tanya." His voice was low but sharp. The words sliced me across the face making me gasp at the realization. "I got wrapped up with things at work, but then she called asking to meet up. I'm sorry, I lost track of time."

Shitty me stood there looking between Edward and Tanya. She walked up to Edward and placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on her chest. "I'm sorry I dragged him away. It's just I haven't seen him in so long." She breathlessly laughed.

I put on a fake smile, "Oh Tanya, don't take the entire blame. It takes two to tango." I swiftly turned around and made my way to the stairs. Halfway up I turned to them, "Oh one more thing. I'm assuming since you have bags you're going to be staying here so make yourself at home. I'm sure Edward will show you around." I stormed up the stairs and slammed the door. This time I'm sure he heard it.

I was fuming. Fuming while sitting in my dark bedroom. I shouldn't be like this right now. This is stupid. I shouldn't be mad, but I am. He just brings her without calling me acting like she's a bag of fresh peaches. Does he expect me to be all happy that the first day of us being back home together gets to be shared with his ex-girlfriend? If he does he's got another thing coming because I'm not. I'm neither happy nor satisfied how tonight has gone. We're supposed to be _progressing_ but this 'friend' is _not_ going to help. I sat there for a good thirty minutes before the door flew open and slammed shut.

"Bella." He was enraged.

But no matter how mad he was I didn't acknowledge him.

"Bella, look at me." I continued to stare at the mirror in front of our bed. He placed himself in front of my eyes. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't know. Where's your friend?" I cocked my head at him.

"You're really going to have a stupid attitude about this?"

Stupid attitude, huh? "I think I asked a normal question."

He stared at me, "She's sleeping."

I stared back at him. A staring match. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. I sarcastically smiled as he exhaled loudly, "What is your problem, Bella?"

Whoa. Déjà vu. "I think I've stated what was wrong. You said you'd be back at eight. It's four in the morning, Edward. What were you even doing with her?"

His mouth parted as he paced across the room, "You doubt me now? If you remember I never did anything with someone else, Bella." His voice escalated.

It was a low blow. He got what he wanted: To hurt my feelings. My emotions amplified, "You're going to call me out on that? How many times do I have to say it, Edward? I had sex with him. I did. If you want me to say I enjoyed it, I can't, because I don't remember. I don't know what else you want from me." My lip quivered as I looked at him. I don't know how I can prove to him that it was a mistake. I can't take back what I've done, but he doesn't have to shove it in my face. A tear escaped my eye and I turned away from him. We both stood in silence.

He softly spoke, "I got off of work at nine. Tanya called me saying she was in town and that she wanted to grab a bite. I forgot that you were at my parents' house. We ate, walked in Seattle, saw a movie, we went to a local bar. I'm sorry I forgot about you. It's just that I got wrapped up. I'm sorry."

I couldn't speak. I felt guilty to say the least. Guilty because here I am thinking he's out with some other girl and I'm the one that cheated on him. This isn't going to work with it hanging over my head. Shaking my head I wiped my eyes.

He spoke louder, "I know it's not the best way to introduce her to you but I was hoping you'd understand." His words hung in the air around me but not once did they enter my ears. I made my way to the bed and slipped under the covers. He sighed heavily and slammed the bathroom door shut. Water poured down my face now that I was alone. Sleeping with Jared has ruined everything. Me, Edward, our relationship, my job status. It may have taken a long time but I think I'm starting to realize that the situation is beyond repair. Edward eventually came out of the bathroom and into the bed. Awkward couldn't even describe how it felt. Seconds felt like hours as he tried to get comfortable. I was facing away from him towards the window, staring at it. Almost trying to imagine what the outside looks like right now. I was lost in my imagination until I felt warmth on my back. Slowly his hand crept around my waste and his body slid up behind mine. I could feel his breath on my neck.

"I'm sorry," His voice was barely a whisper.

My eyes stayed on the window, "I've had a long day, Edward." I pushed his hand off of my body and scooted closer to the edge of the bed.

"Bella…"

I cut him off, "Honestly it's not you, it's me."

He stayed quiet for awhile. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Good question. What _is_ it supposed to mean? My words could mean anything. I didn't know what they meant. I didn't even know what they were implying. And for some odd reason, I don't think I wanted to know.


	10. And We All Fall Down

Listen to My Words

Chapter 10

""

**I just wanted to thank:**

**-gyaclaris for noticing my rather confusing slip up :D muchas gracias**

**-teambellaedward, vapmiregurl, and rpattz granny for reviewing my stories…it's always a pleasure to hear from you guys :]**

I'm watching her. She's just sitting there acting like she's at home. Well FYI home wrecker, you're not at home. This is _my _home. When I woke up this morning Edward had made himself and Tanya breakfast. I must emphasize him and Tanya. Yep. That's right; no Bella is in that sentence. Apparently I got up too late for breakfast and he didn't want to wake me. So here I am, chopping up carrots for all of us to have lunch. I'm glad that I didn't seem too crazy to Tanya last night. She trusts me with a knife.

Chop.

Chop.

_Chop._

_CHOP._

"Bella." Edward's voice was authoritative.

I didn't forget what happened last night with us. My emotions were the like two sides of a coin. Pissed off and hurt.

"What?" His eyes looked at the knife and back up at my eyes.

Chop.

"Can you be quieter?"

My eyes narrowed. Is it so he and Tanya can play their stupid game on her iPod in silence?

Chop.

I shrugged my shoulders innocently, "All I'm doing is making lunch." I threw him a fake smile.

Chop.

"I don't think we need carrots."

Chop. "Carrots are necessary for a legit salad. Sorry, Edward." I stared straight into his eyes.

Chop.

Ms. Busty Blonde decided to step in, "I don't really care for carrots in salads."

I ground my teeth trying to not open my mouth.

Chop. Instantly I was met with a sharp pain and I screamed out. Edward ran around the counter towards me.

"Bella, let me look at it."

I shook his hands off of me, "Stop, I'm fine." I stormed off to the half bathroom and put my finger under some running water. If she didn't say anything in the first place then this would've never happened. At least I got off with a small cut of my index finger. I guess this gets me out of making lunch, but then she could turn into Betty Crocker or some messed up Martha Stewart. Once the bleeding settled down I wrapped it in some paper towel and headed out. Edward was right outside the door. I hesitated.

He slowly walked up close to me, "Are you okay?"

We really haven't said anything to each other.

"I think that's a record. You remembered me after two minutes. What a major improvement!" I stepped around me, but he grabbed my arm.

"Bella, can you at least talk to me?"

Now he wants to talk? After all the questions I've been trying to ask he wants to talk now? "I think you've said enough."

"Why won't you let this go?"

I faced him, "You still haven't given me a reason as to why you came home at four in the morning. Was it so hard to call me or even text me? Hell, you could've given a message to your secretary."

"I told you already and I forgave you, Bella. You don't see me ragging on you."

"Oh, but you do, Edward, and it hurts. It hurts to know that I'm trying my best to work with your family. I'm trying to be the best wife I can under the circumstances but you still don't see it. Why did you even bring that up last night?"

He looked at the wall above me shaking his head. He doesn't want to talk now, huh?

"Exactly, that's what I thought. I mean, why do you even do that?"

Slowly his eyes made their way to mine, "Why do I do what?"

"You shut down whenever I ask you a question. Now you don't want to talk?"

This was too much for me. If he can't talk things out for me I don't know what else I can do. He looked down onto the ground. He better be thinking of how to answer my question because this is ridiculous.

"It hard for me." He left it at that.

"What's hard?"

"Talking with you." He hesitated again. Is he really serious? "Ever since what we back together again it's just hard for me to open up to you. I don't know I just need to adjust that's all."

This is a start. His words softened me up a bit. I could feel my defensive wall coming down. "If you at least speak with me then we won't be fighting all the time."

"I can do that. I know you may think that I'm this really strong guy but really our situation throws me off. It makes me question everything that I do with you. I don't know what makes you happy or…" His eyes looked over my shoulder. My eyes followed his gaze and there she was, Ms. Busty blonde, standing there like she was lost or something. Couldn't she see we were talking?

"Edward, it's your turn to play!" She walked up to him and linked her arm to his.

Edward looked back at me. His eyes were silently pleading with me but I'm not having this. This chick needs to know when she is _not_ welcome. I'll call her a bitch when she actually does something to me, but at the rate she's going it won't take too long.

"Edward, come on." She tugged at him.

He broke our stare and awkwardly spoke, "We were talking, Tanya."

She looked at me up and down. "Doesn't look like it's that important." I raised an eyebrow. Now I can call her a bitch.

I took a calming breath and checked my finger. Looking in Edward's eyes, I made my decision, "No, you're right, Tanya, it wasn't that important."

I was mad. No. I was infuriated. As I walked away Edward didn't even call after me. All he did was go back to play another stupid round of Angry Birds with the bitch. I finished cooking some chicken casserole for lunch. The entire time I was wondering if Tanya was a witch. What kind of spell did she put on Edward to have such a hold on him? I was also wondering what I'm going to do with those two so secluded in '_best friends_ time'. I have no one to hang out with. I'm sure Rosalie is working. I could call Jacob but we were never really that close. He would know what's up. I just need some love. Unconditional love.

And that's when it hit me.

I immediately picked up the phone to dial Rosalie. I don't care if she is doing who knows what. Only one opinion is needed.

"You want to buy a what?" That was her reaction when I told her my grand idea.

"I'm going to get a dog."

The line was quiet. Sure it was random but it'd be nice to have a companion around the house when Edward has to go to work since I'm unemployed and what not.

"Bella, I don't know if you've been smoking with Edward, but you're crazy. You can't go buy a dog when you and Edward aren't getting along. It's stupid. Like really, what are you going to do with the dog when everything is fine?"

She has a point. I don't really want a dog. I just want someone to talk to. Someone to be with.

I was becoming increasingly desperate, "Could I start with a goldfish?"

"Don't buy a freaking dog. Not only will you regret it but Edward will flip. He's not too fond of dogs."

I sighed, "Yeah, I know."

"What really happened last night to make you want to go a psycho?"

Does she really want to know? "He came home around four in the morning." I peeked outside the living room to see if Edward was near but he was too wrapped up with Tanya, "with Tanya."

I heard her gasp, "What the fuck? Hold on let me step out of the studio." I heard some shuffling but she soon returned, "What do you mean with Tanya?"

"She's staying over here. That's who he was hanging out with."

"At four in the morning?" She stopped herself, "Oh, I am so sorry that happened. How are you feeling?"

How am I feeling?"Shitty. Pissed. Hurt. Lonely."

"I would come over but I'm at work."

"No, I totally understand." I lowered my voice, "Rosalie, I don't think we're going to make it."

"Make what?" She obviously knew what I was talking about.

"Make it together. He won't talk to me and we're always fighting…"

"Bella, you guys will be fine. How can you guys be fighting so much? You've only been together for, what, three days?"

"Yeah and these three days have been hell."

"It's not supposed to be easy. Hang in there and I'm sure you'll see it's worthwhile."

I hope she's right. These past three days have taken everything out of me. I'm emotionally bankrupt. I can't give anything else.

"Thank you and I hope you're right. Bye, Rosalie."

"Bye and don't ruin some dog's life by buying it."

I flopped onto the couch and placed an arm over my eyes. It's only Thursday. What more could this week do to me? Out of the blue I felt a pair of lips on my forehead. I moved my arm and saw Edward sitting on the floor next to the couch. I placed my arm back over my face.

"Are you going to eat lunch with us?" I fought the urge to snicker.

"No, I wouldn't want to intrude on your bonding time." I know I was being difficult but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get over the fact that he _forgot_ about me. How could you _forget_ for a good four hours? Something must be up. It's not like him to _forget_.

"I don't want you to feel like you can't be with us."

Us. Anything dealing with that girl makes me sick to my stomach. I took my arm off my face.

"Well I do feel like that." He sighed. "I want to know something. Why is she here?"

"She didn't really want to stay at my parents' house so I invited her over here. It's only my mom, dad, Alice, and maybe Jasper there. She's not close with anyone and I wanted her to be comfortable."

His response confused me even further. "Which one is more important? Your who-knows-what being comfortable or your wife?"

"Bella, she's just a friend."

"No, answer my question because not once did you ask me how I felt about her coming here."

"I told you on the phone that she was coming over."

Is he even remotely using his brain? "Not once did you _ask_ me."

He looked at the other side of the room. "Well it was a spur of the moment kind of thing."

"Was it really?" Edward still looked away. "Look in my eyes and tell me that." He didn't. He didn't even look my way. I sat up on the couch and swung my legs over. "I mean, how do you forget that your wife was at home when you went out to eat, went to the movies, walk all around Seattle, or even to the bar?" My voice went sarcastic, "Oh yea, it's easy when you press ignore on a phone call."

I stormed out of the room and into the kitchen to eat some of _my_ food. Tanya was sitting at the table eating lunch and on her phone. I sat in front of her.

Taking a bite, I moaned at the taste, "This is just delicious." I stared at her. Sure I'm instigating something but some boundaries need to be set.

She sneered, "I've tasted better."

"Really where? The strip club or the whore factory?" I tried not to laugh and keep a straight face. I caught off her off guard but she quickly composed herself.

"Neither, Edward makes great food when he comes over."

_What the…? _My poker face was still on.

"Stop lying. We both know that he hasn't seen you in five years."

She softly chuckled, "Is that what he told you?"

My face faltered. She continued, "Oh, there I got you. Rather than picking on your man's obvious Number One girl, I think you should just mind your own business."

She has the nerve to talk to me like this in my own house? And what the hell does she mean by that? Edward hasn't seen since the end of high school. Right?

"It's a shame that you're such a liar."

"But I'm not lying. Ask him the last time he's seen me."

I ground my teeth together. What the fuck? If he's been seeing her all this time… Why would he lie to me? That would explain why he was so nonchalant at lunch yesterday. Why he was so aloof to his mom. I lost my appetite.

I stood up, "Don't say one more word to me. Stay out of my way and I want to see you out of this house by tomorrow." I placed my plate on the counter. Edward is so close to being dead to me.

I found him face down on the bed. My emotions were all over the place. I was livid, hurt, betrayed, and confused. Why did he feel the need to hide her from me? Why did he have to lie to me all these years? What lies did he tell me when he saw her?

"Do I look stupid to you?"

His body jerked and he rolled over, "What do you mean?"

It's almost as if that exact moment my mind gave up. I'm too tired to fight. I just need to talk to him about this and sort it out. No matter how incredulously pissed off I was.

"She told me." My answer was vague enough.

He hesitated, "What did she tell you?"

I'm tired of playing games. How could he be such a liar? Why would he lie to me all this time? "Why can't you just be upfront with me?"

His mouth opened and closed, "Bella, I have no clue what you're talking about."

"She told me you've been seeing her all along."

He stared at me with a blank expression that soon turned to being confused. "I haven't seen her in years."

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not!" He stared right into my eyes. His voice bounced off the walls. Made them vibrate. Shake. Then finally they made it to my brain. That's when I realized he wasn't. My heart dropped. My hands covered my face as I deeply breathed in. Shame washed over me.

"I'm sorry," I softly said as I looked back at him. Again, I placed my hand on my face and reached for the doorknob. My eyes started to water. I actually let this woman get to me. I'm so foolish.

"Bella." He walked up to me and wrapped him arms around me. I didn't want him to hold me at this moment. I wanted to be alone. Alone with my thoughts. I backed out of his arms but he tightened his hold on me, "Please, don't walk out."

I was on the verge of tears. Everything that is happening is too emotionally demanding for me. I'm pretty sure I'll spontaneously combust. Shaking my head I felt my tears roll down my face. "I don't know if I can do this, Edward." My voice was unstable.

I wrapped my arms around him listening to his heartbeat. He was quiet and for another messed up reason this frustrated me. He always goes quiet. It's almost as if my infidelity caused my husband to become a mute. His words finally made their way out, "It's hard for me, too."

Now the shoe was on the other foot. I was the mute. I didn't know if I should open to him and talk to about how I am feeling or if I should shrug this off and bottle it inside.

Problem number one. "I want her gone." My sudden declaration through him off. His arms loosened and he shuffled his feet. I looked up at him.

His jaw moved around clearly showing his mental conflict. "Why, though?"

I let there be some space between us by leaning against the bed frame. "To put it lightly, she's a bitch." He scoffed and slowly paced the room. I counted my points on my fingers, "She has not said one nice thing to me. I don't like her. She's a bitch. She has a _thing_ for you no matter how much you want to deny it, and she's a bitch. Why else would I think you were seeing her for all this time? She's the one who told me."

He immediately defended her, "Well it's not like you were nice her the first time you freaking met her! Plus, she wouldn't say that, Bella. She knows what happened between us."

She _knows_? This caught my attention, "Why would she know?"

He deadpanned, "I told her."

The urge to roll my eyes was overwhelming, "Why did you have to tell her? That's our business. Not hers."

"She's close to me and she noticed that I wasn't myself. She asked. I answered."

What? That doesn't even make sense. Why would she care if he was _himself _or not. This is not making any sense at all. "So within the five hours you guys miraculously bumped into each other you tell her something pretty personal?"

He scoffed yet again, "It's not that personal. The whole family knows and she's family."

That's still not fair. It's not right. "What you're saying doesn't even add up together. Like how do you even bring that up? Are you sure she just _asked_ you?" I looked deeply in his eyes.

He faced away from me looking at my perfumes on the dresser. I finally caught his eyes in the mirror. He continued to fiddle, "She noticed I wasn't wearing my ring." I motioned for him to continue. "She kept probing about what happened so eventually I had to tell her. She's a good friend, I can't lie to her."

His words cut me. "But you can lie to me?" This girl has such a hold on him that I can't even compete with. Again tears welled in my eyes. I'm not going to let them fall. I'm not. Not until I hear his answer.

His hands froze, "No, that's not what I meant."

I cut him off, "Then what do you mean?"

He crossed over to the bed and lowered himself down to my level. "I mean that I love you, Bella, and that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to short change you in any way. It was wrong for me to tell her. I should've talked to you at first. I should talk to you period." He leaned into me. His lips hovered over mine. The distance was enough for me to meet him, but I would've, if that was the only problem we had between us. I turned my head slightly away from him.

"So is she going to stay here?" I composed myself and got to my point.

He was noticeably crushed, "I'm hoping she can stay here."

Someone has got to give and by judging Edward's firmness, it's me. "I guess she'll stay here, but just let you know, if it isn't apparent to you by now, I'm not happy. I'm anything but with her strolling around but I'm doing this for you. For us."

He smiled and kissed me on my neck. Gently nuzzling it he whispered, "Thank you."

Inside my blood was boiling. It was close to evaporating. That's how livid I was. Maybe it hasn't clicked in his mind that I'm sacrificing my happiness for who knows how long for him. I kicked myself for trying to be a selfless wife. It's almost as if he walking over me. If this is what a good wife feels like then I quit because I cannot take this any longer. It's been a day and I'm going crazy. What pisses me off even more is that he's not bothered with the fact of Tanya's self-destructing lies. But of course I can't bring that up because Edward believes she's an angel. A slutty, trashy, disgusting angel who doesn't know possession if it hit her in the face.

But I could commend him on something, "Thank you for trying to open up to me."

He sat on the bed and turned towards me, "Anything to make us work."

Only if he knew he was lying. That anything didn't include Tanya. Taking her out the equation was never an option in his mind. He leaned into me once more, "I missed you."

He started to place kisses down my neck and I could tell where he wanted to go with this.

"Edward, stop." I leaned back but he made up the distance. "Edward." I spoke louder.

"What?" He regained his breathing.

"We can't do this."

He furrowed his brows, "What do you mean?"

I looked away from him, "Tanya's probably wondering where you are by now." I tried to contain the sarcasm in my voice.

He chuckled, "Does it look like I care right now?" He motioned towards his pants.

I fixed my hair in a messy bun, "I think you should get back to her." I scooted to the edge of the bed facing away from him.

"Are you serious?"

Us having sex wouldn't make anything better. Sure you would have two less sexually frustrated adults in the world but personally it wouldn't make anything better. It would just make me feel regretful. Resentful. Even more pissed off. I felt him move off the bed and go into the bathroom.

I walked out of the room and found myself lounging on the couch technically watching TV with Tanya. I say technically because I'm on the other side of the couch and she's paying more attention to her phone than the TV. We're more _cohabitating _if you will. A few minutes later Edward came from upstairs and lied down with me on the couch.

I kissed the arm that was draped around me with my attention on the TV. Of course the bitch had a problem with the lack of attention.

"Edward, look at this picture I found on my phone." I feared that Edward would get up, but I didn't even feel him move. Even though I didn't clearly express my worries about him picking her over me maybe things will clear up.

"Why don't you just come over here? I don't feel like getting up."

She wasn't taking it. Her ulterior motive was to get Edward away from me and I had a feeling that she doesn't care if I knew it or not. She knew that Edward wouldn't believe me. Not under these circumstances. That was her advantage.

"Please?" She threw in a puppy dog face.

Edward laughed, "That shit doesn't work on me." That _shit_ doesn't work for her. She looked like a dirty tramp that got a little bit too much collagen pumped in her lips. Again I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"Whatever," She turned away from us. After a few seconds she got up and stormed upstairs to her guest room. Edward called after her but she didn't answer. It irked me that he calls after her when she leaves but when it's me that's leaving, it's another story. I heard him sigh. I can sympathize with him because he is trying to keep two women who hate each other happy but yet he should be able to understand which one is a hard-to-please bitch. Pushing him to realize that might not end well. I kept my mouth shut and stared at the TV.

Long story short. Edward gave in and went up to talk to Tanya, leaving me down here alone. When they came back down she was all smiles. Back to normal. Her annoying laugh was back, her flirtatious touches were back and her low 'Oh, Edward' type moans were back. In full force. I'll be surprised if I don't club her by the end of the night. My miserable Thursday continued on while Edward and Tanya went off to some store in downtown Seattle. I tried everything from cleaning to cooking to looking up dog breeders in the area just to get my mind off of Edward and Tanya. I don't want to be that type of wife that controls who her husband talks to but obviously some boundaries need to be set.

Looking up at the clock, I noticed it was closing in on 7. I had no clue when the _buddies_ would return so I decided to curl up with some popcorn and watch a movie.

A couple minutes into the previews, the doorbell rang. I became excited thinking it was Edward but I soon realized it couldn't be. He did have a key and all. I cautiously opened the door and was surprised to see Rosalie and Alice standing there with couple bags.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?"

Rosalie stepped inside and proceeded to the kitchen. I turned towards Alice looking for some kind of answer.

"We are here to prepare you." She then followed Rosalie. I quickly jogged to the hallway mirror making sure I looked alright and then met up with the two.

Rosalie unpacked some of her bags, "I told Alice about your bitch problem so we're here to provide you with some supplies."

Alice helped organize the items, "Some of this stuff is made for only one set of eyes, if you know what I mean, and the others are to make the bitch sweat."

I looked between them. I finally took notice of their attire. They were in full black. Although Alice was less dramatic she was wearing black skinny jeans with a black tank top and black flip flops. Rosalie on the other hand had black cargo pants, black studded combat boots, and a black button down top. I slowly shook my head.

"What are you guys even talking about?"

Rosalie froze, "Bella, we're here to help you. I know from experience how flirtatious Tanya can be when people are around and Alice has seen how _friendly _she is when no one is around."

When no one is around? "You guys are crazy. Why are you dressed up in all black? This is stupid."

Alice laughed, "This is necessary. We brought two sets of lingerie, some dresses for tomorrow, pairs of heels, and some pranking stuff."

Pranking stuff? Lingerie? I'm not participating in this. "This is my marriage. It's not some game that you can start over. I don't want to deal with any of this."

Rosalie walked upstairs with a camera. I didn't want to be a co-conspirator. It's childish. "Bella, calm down. It's nothing too weird. These are just things to _help _your marriage."

I was still adamant. Why would I want to get back at this girl? Sure she's a bitch but I think doing this is just childish. What if Edward finds out? He won't be the happiest camper and we don't need anything getting in the way between us. Not anything more that is.

"No. We have enough going wrong between us. You guys may not understand but we're fighting too much. I can barely take it. He can barely take it let alone talk to me so no." I started to pack back all the clothes.

Alice sat at the table watching me, "What do you mean you guys have problems?"

"Didn't Rosalie tell you?"

She shook her head, "She only told me about Tanya."

I stared at the lingerie piece, "Things were coming together until she came into the picture. Ever since he's just completely forgotten about me."

"I'm sorry. I know it may seem unfair but Edward and Tanya are really close. I don't know why he's making the decisions he's made but maybe you should just try to talk to him about?"

"I did and he was pro Tanya." I fiddled with the lace.

"I don't like her anymore than you do but maybe you should really talk to him about it. If he cares about you as much as he says he does then he should understand how bothered you are by her."

Only if it was that simple.

"And if he's as smart as he makes himself look then he should know it's the best for the two of you."

Rosalie walked back into the kitchen. "Where were you?"

She went into the fridge for a bottle of water, "Upstairs."

I narrowed my eyes, "Doing what?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I just had to record some stuff."

"You guys don't understand how serious this is. You can't mess with Tanya because messing with Tanya means messing with Edward. It doesn't help anything."

Alice started chuckling, "Do you think she's _that_ powerful over Edward? Yes, he might not be aware of your woes but he does know when things cross the line."

I didn't say anything. If Alice is right about what she's saying then maybe going along with their plan wouldn't hurt. I played with the lingerie. "What's this for?"

Rosalie smiled and high-fived Alice. She quickly put on some black rimmed glasses and picked up the lacey sets.

"This here is your first weapon. No matter what Tanya does, you have something over her. That thing is that at the end of the night it's you that turns him on. Not her. She knows she can't do that."

Alice stood up, "So we were thinking that maybe if we got you a couple of lacey numbers then Edward would be overcome by your sexiness and he'll snap out of it."

I started to blush. Not that we were talking about Edward and I's sexual relationship but that I was talking about it with his sister. My mind flipped to earlier today. I couldn't have sex with him. It didn't feel right. Deep down in my gut I feel that he still hasn't told me everything about him and Tanya. Or even everything about that night. I can't have sex with him until I know the truth and there's a feeling that won't be for awhile.

I hesitated, "I don't know. I'll take them but I don't know when exactly they'll be used."

Rosalie's expression lowered, "Why not? Last time I heard you guys were going at it like rabbits."

Shrugging my shoulders, "It's just weird, but what else do you guys have?" I don't want to stay on this topic any longer.

Alice took back out four dresses. One was a red dress. It had a sweetheart neckline with one strap made roses. The bust was beaded but tapered off at the bottom. It was breathtaking. It was so breathtaking it confused me.

"What is this for?"

Alice blankly looked at me, "Edward didn't tell you?"

Dumbly I looked at my hands, "No."

Rosalie walked to another bag and took out a pair of red satin shoes, "Well Ms. Bitch wants to go clubbing tomorrow so we're all hitting Trinity. Plan is for us to meet here and take a couple cabs across town."

"I can't believe he didn't tell you. We were talking about earlier today," Alice mumbled. Earlier today? Wow. I feel so informed.

I brushed it off, "I think it's too dressy if we're going to a club. What does the other dress look like?"

Alice picked up a black dress that had fabric cut out of the back. I looked closer and I realized that it had no back. What are they getting me into?

"Lo and behold this sexy number. Its gravity field has a radius of three hundred feet! You'll collect a surplus amount of men." Rosalie exclaimed. I couldn't help but laugh at her lame nerd voice.

I rapidly shook my head, "No way in hell am I going to get into that dress. Next."

Alice immediately started begging, "Please, come on. It screams sex!"

Rosalie joined in, "The pixie's right. We're going hoochie tomorrow. No way you're back out of this one, hun."

I stayed firm, "I'm not getting in that dress. If I move one inch in, you'll see all my lady bits."

We all laughed. Alice pulled out another dress. It was a simple off the shoulder dress. It fit loosely and had an exposed shoulder in the cloth. It made me uneasy. "And what if that piece on my shoulder slips?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Okay Ms. Prude, it has a silver piece in the top. I don't think it can 'slip' off." I examined the dress. The right side of the dress would be strapless with the fabric gathering on top of left shoulder. The loose fit is what worried me the most.

"Maybe. Next."

Rosalie picked up a more tailored dress. It had a similar top like the last one but it was more fitting. There were small black polka dots with riffled fabric. The pattern stopped under the bust and the rest of the dress was black and fitted like a pencil skirt. There was a black belted under the bust as well. I like it. It's more me and not as _hoochie_ as they wanted.

"Don't get any ideas about this dress, Bella. We're trying to play sex goddess. This," She motioned to the dress, "is a last resort." My feeling were crushed.

Alice pulled out the final dress. It was grey and black. My eyes nearly feel out of my sockets when I saw the neckline. Or lack thereof. It drape down all the way to the navel exposing your cleavage. The rest of the dress was snug and black.

Alice turned to me, "It's not all slutty like Rosalie wanted…"

Rosalie corrected, "Hoochie. I wanted hoochie."

Alice resumed, "But it sexy and it's you, Bella. You have the jugs, you have the stomach, and you have the legs so why not go for it?"

I had to admit that dress was the shit and if I wore it then I'd be the shit. "I love it. It's hot. "

Alice and Rosalie placed down there stuff and did their synchronized victory dance. To be honest it look like a snippet from the Cotton-Eyed Joe dance but it was cute. It surprises me how close they actually are.

When they were finished, Rosalie got out the paring shoes while Alice packed up. "What's next in the plan?"

Rosalie turned to me, "Oh you'll see tomorrow." She gave me a sinister smile. If they pull anything in the club I will be so mad. Who knows how Tanya will react to something. Will Edward defend her? I pushed those thoughts out of my head. Tanya doesn't have some messed up power over Edward. Alice is right. Right?

They left talking animatedly about tomorrow. Once I closed the door I longed for company. It sucks being alone in a house when your husband is parading around town with his _best friend_ who happens to be a super slut. I heard his car pull up and I quickly ran to the kitchen. I had to take up the dresses and lingerie. Flying up the stairs I made it into the bedroom just as I heard the door to the garage open up. Suddenly my attention wasn't on Edward and Tanya. It was on the gift basket on the bed. I slowly approached it and went into cardiac arrest once I saw the contents. The basket was filled head to toe with condoms, gels, lubes, sex toys, books and various creams. I was so shocked I dropped all the items I had in my hands.

"Bella?" Edward called out. I frantically looked around the room for a spot to hide them.

"Yeah? I'm up here," I tried to pick up my dress and shoes but they kept falling.

"Okay, I'm coming up," I mentally slapped myself. What am I going to do? I dashed for the gift basket but of course with my luck the plastic slipped open it its contents went rolling about the room. _Shit. _I swiftly gathered all the contents and threw them in my closet. His footsteps became louder. Looking towards the door I saw a packaged dildo near the entrance. My heart could've stop then and there when I started to see the top of Edward's head at the stairs. I dashed for the package and quickly stood up facing Edward.

He looked perplexed, "Why do you look so worried?"

My eyes widened, "What? No, I…" Think, Bella, think, "There was a spider and I just got it so… I'm going to throw it away now."

He cautiously looked over me lightly nodding his head. I ran to the bathroom and looked at the dildo.

This is all Rosalie's fault. How could I have missed this? I placed it in one of my makeup drawers and walked back out into the bedroom. Edward was still standing in the doorway.

I tried to act calm, "So how was the store?"

He looked at me a little longer, "It was cool. I've got to take you there one day_._"_ You could've taken me today_. "We stopped by Jade Garden and I got some chinese food if you want some."

My mouth started to water at the thought. "Great what'd you get?"

"I'll show you," He held out his hand and I took it. I kept an eye out for Tanya but she was nowhere to be found. I'm not complaining.

"Sit, I'll get you your food," He instructed me. I sat at the bar and watched him take out the food.

"We've got some egg rolls, Bang Bang Ji, your favorite, lo mein, yangchow fried rice, and kung pow chicken," I danced inside. I got my favorite Chinese food. Bang Bang Ji really does make the world a better place.

"Thank you, Edward. You know just what I need."

All of a sudden Tanya came up hand hugged Edward from behind, "I know. He is so great." She hugged him tighter. My smile immediately fell.

Edward noticed and he peeled off her arms, "Yeah, well I try." He walked around and placed the plate in front of me. I watched him as he made his own plate and sat next to me. I looked over Tanya as she was blabbing about something unimportant. She was wearing a pair of shorts where you could see the pocket flaps and a loose crop top. I could see the top of her pink and white striped bra. Had to be a push up. And she was how old?

I decided to tune back in, "I can't wait to go there tomorrow."

There? What's there? "Go where?"

Tanya rolled her eyes, "Trinity, where else? Edward said he'll make sure I have a great time."

She's such a bitch I want to shove this lo mein where it hurts. I stabbed a piece of chicken and ate it. Nobody said anything and I didn't dare look at Edward. I doubt he was looking at me out of concern. I've come to a conclusion: Since she wants to play dirty and Edward isn't doing a damn thing about it, let the chips fall where they may.

"And?" I deadpanned.

"Well I don't know about you but Edward and I going to have a fun time. I just need to get a dress. Could you take me tomorrow?" I didn't even need to look up to see she was talking to Edward. Her question sparked some curiosity within me though. _Is_ Edward going to take her?

"No, I'm working tomorrow," He then continued eating.

How many days _has_ Edward skipped this week? I sighed he had to go to work sometime. It's a shame I wasn't able to spend a day with him. A full day with him that is.

An idea popped in my head, "Tanya, don't worry. I can take you dress shopping. I know some great places."

I looked over at Edward and he smiled. Tanya didn't say anything.

Edward pushed my offering, "Hey, she said she could take you. It'd be nice for you guys to get know each other."

Oh, Edward, you are so oblivious to the amount of hate we have going between us.

I finished my plate and headed upstairs for bed. Tanya never did respond but whether she likes it or not she's going dress shopping with me tomorrow. I decided to text Rosalie about my idea.

**To: Rosalie**

**From: +513-449-3820**

_Tomorrow I'm taking the bitch dress shopping._

The response was immediate.

**From: Rosalie**

**To: +513-449-3820**

_By force?_

I chuckled.

**To: Rosalie**

**From: +513-449-3820**

_By choice. She didn't exactly agree to it but I've got a plan._

Waiting for her text I walked in to my closet and looked at the mini sex shop I had on my floor. I shook my head and started to look through them.

**From: Rosalie**

**To: +513-449-3820**

_Now we're talking…what is it?_

I'm pretty sure she got a 54 variety pack from Trojan. Name a type and it was there. For her. Fire and Ice. Ecstasy. Magnum. _Extra Small. _Chick's got jokes.

**To: Rosalie**

**From: +513-449-3820**

_I was thinking that I could drag her to a dangerous part of town and leaver her there. It sucks…you got any better?_

**From: Rosalie**

**To: +513-449-3820**

_You're right it sucks. I'll go dress shopping with you guys tomorrow. I don't work Friday's so I'll be at your house at 6 AM_

My eyes nearly popped out of my head.

**To: Rosalie**

**From: +513-449-3820**

_No! Why so early?_

**From: Rosalie**

**To: +513-449-3820**

_You'll see chica. _

I didn't want to force it out of her. A newborn baby would know that I couldn't get it out of her.

**To: Rosalie**

**From: +513-449-3820**

_Well let yourself in b/c I'm getting my sleep…so did you rob a sex shop or something?_

I picked up a one dildo out of the four that were on the floor. Why would a girl need that many anyways? Carelessly I threw it back down. Literally there was everything here: vibrators, cock rings, anal beads, and something that resembled a fake banana. I don't even want to know.

**From: Rosalie**

**To: +513-449-3820**

_Hope you guys like it tonight ;)_

I rolled my eyes.

**To: Rosalie**

**From: +513-449-3820**

_I told you guys nothing is happening…not with the bitch in the house_

That was a lie. We could have easily had sex earlier today and it wasn't Tanya's fault that we had stopped. It was me. All relationship experts will tell you to trust your gut and that's what I'm doing, but I don't think I can push anymore answers out of him. Not with Ms. Bitch parading around.

**From: Rosalie**

**To: +513-449-3820**

_If you say so…see you tomorrow k?_

_Get some sleep! _

I didn't respond to her text but I decided to take her advice. I'll get some sleep and tomorrow will be better.

I slowly peeled off my clothes and headed into the shower. My thoughts were everywhere, but mainly they were about Edward. I couldn't help but feel mad at him for letting Tanya do anything she wanted. He didn't listen to me when I tried to tell him. I let the water pour over my head. The light turned on in the bedroom and I assumed Edward was getting into bed.

_That thing is that at the end of the night it's you that turns him on._

Rosalie's words floated around my mind. She is right. At the end of the night I'm with him. I turned off the water and tiptoed out into the now dark room. If Edward was really sleeping I'm not sure, but a small ounce of me was hoping he wasn't.

The navy blue lacey set. It was in my hands. All I had to do is slip it on and walk out of this closet. Then things will get better. The plan will come to start. But I hesitated. I fumbled with it.

And placed it back in the drawer. I couldn't have sex with him. Deep down inside I knew that it wouldn't make anything better. At least not with what's going on two rooms down from us.

I slipped on a loose shirt and slid into bed. As my head rested on my pillow I stared up at the ceiling. I could hear how he wasn't asleep. His breathing wasn't as slow. He didn't make an effort to talk to me and I didn't make an effort to talk to him.

I guess the honeymoon phase had to wear off some time.


	11. Changing Tides

Listen to My Words

Chapter 11

"Changing Tides"

**Here's the story…**

I snuggled up closer to his body and breathed him in. He smelled like Snuggles laundry softener. I looked up at his face but I couldn't see him clearly. Rubbing my eyes I called out to him. He looked at me. We were standing now. His arm gradually reached out to me but the closer he got to me the father away I was from him. I tried to take one step closer, but a girl was now where I once stood. Her hair was blonde. Strawberry blonde. My eyes snapped up to Edward's and I realized that he wasn't reaching for me. He was reaching for her. Suddenly she was in his arms and Edward was speaking to me. I couldn't understand him. All I could do was look at her face. It was taunting me. I felt something wet roll down my face. I wiped it away but the second I saw the crimson liquid, I jumped back. I touched my face with my other hand and more appeared. Screaming out to Edward I asked him what was wrong with me. Pleaded to him, begged him, to tell me but he slowly turned away taking Tanya's hand. I couldn't let him go. I ran to him but forcefully I was yanked back. I turned back to look and I saw his face. It was different now. It showed affection while he pulled me back to him and placed his hand on my stomach. Unknowingly I looked down. I couldn't have been farther than six months. My heart cried at the thought of having something with Jared that Edward and I could not have had together.

His words echoed in my minds, "We're a family. You're now mine forever."

I snapped up in bed clutching my chest. My heart was going to pop out considering how fast it was racing. I tried to catch my breath as I threw the pillow off my body. That would explain the scent. My eyes immediately snapped up to Rosalie's bewildered ones. She, too, was clutching her chest, but I could see she was frightened.

Cautiously she walked up to the foot of the bed, "Are you okay?"

I continued to heavily breathe in and out. That was a good question. Was I okay? That was by far the creepiest dream I had ever had. Could it be considered a dream? Nightmare is more like it. Feverishly I nodded my head and swung my legs off the bed. "Yes," I breathlessly added.

She took a moment looking at me before she came closer, "Edward left you a note on the fridge." She passed it to me and continued, "I dropped by Alice's to get her dress and the works before I came here. You'd never believe the amount of crap she has." I watched her as she went back to the packed bags.

"When'd you get here?"

She pulled out some containers and metal boxes, "I'd say about half an hour ago. You were sleeping so well I didn't want to wake you," She turned back to me, "but it looks like you woke yourself." She walked into the bathroom and raised her voice, "Where did you have in mind to go shopping?"

My mind couldn't interpret everything she was saying. Let alone her odd sunny outlook on today. It makes me wonder what she's planning on doing. I played with the post-it note. "Just to the mall."

I read the note. It wasn't anything personal.

_I'll be back around 5 or 6. See you guys tonight._

_-E_

My face twisted in disgust. See you _guys_ tonight. Obviously this note was meant for his two ladies.

I finally took notice of Rosalie standing in front of me. Awkwardly, I placed the note down and ran my hands threw my hair. "What?"

She threw me a knowing expression so I fessed up, "This note isn't for me Rosalie. It's for whoever happens to be in the house today," I half mumbled, "I thought he'd at least leave a note on the bed."

Rosalie heard me, "Oh, he did."

My eyes instantly met hers, "He did?"

She crawled onto the bed, flipping up sheets, and found the note, "It was ever-so-neatly placed on the pillow before you went all crazy on it."

I grabbed the note, pathetically expecting some sort of love confession.

Boy was I wrong.

_We need to talk tonight. I don't care when. We need to talk._

My eyes involuntarily widened and my eyebrows rose. How many times does the shit have to hit the ceiling?

"Well what's it about?" She sat on the end of the bed. I crumpled the piece of paper and threw it in the garbage can. Rosalie's eyes followed my hands and then back at my eyes. It might just be better to shred the note. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I carefully ripped the note into small bits and threw them in the trash.

Nonchalantly, I walked into the bathroom, "Like you don't know."

"But I don't," she called out after me. I answered with the closing of the door. I took another show, washed my face, brushed my face, you know ordinary things, but my reflection caught my attention. I turned all kinds of directions in the mirror. I failed to put a finger on exactly what it was, but I looked hot. I know I'm attractive but I don't know if it's the freshly blow-dried hair or washed face that sealed the deal. I put on my foundation and opened the door to head over to my closet. I was expecting to see it exactly the way I left it last night. What I was not expecting was to see Edward's drawers half-opened and nearly half of all his shirts strewn on the floor. To make matters worse, Alice and Rosalie's bags were everywhere with half made outfits on the counter. My breathing picked up as I took in the scene.

I heard her voice behind me, "Now I know what this may look like, but in my defense half of this mess was here when I arrived." I stepped over to my dresses ad picked out a navy romper with small pastel pink and white flowers. I grabbed a pair of black strap heels and walked out of the room.

"Really, don't be mad. Once you see what the guys have downstairs, this will look spotless." I was placing one leg into my romper when her words hit me. _This _will look _spotless_? If I knew having everyone over meant a trashed house, I feel I should've at least received a waiver to sign. I mean, I cleaned this freaking house four days ago. I calmed myself down. Today is going to be a fun day. We're going dress shopping, having dinner with everyone, and then a nice night of dancing. This day is going to be just fine.

"I'm not mad or at least not trying to be. Today's going to be great."

Her smile widened as she took my hand, "Fantastic because I'm really excited about what Jasper and Emmett brought."

We walked downstairs and I saw some bags which I assumed were Jasper's and Emmett's. I didn't exactly know that Edward and I were going to have a full house tonight but maybe that's one of the things he _failed _to mention.

"So everyone is staying over?"

Rosalie went over to the refrigerator, "Yes, Emmett and Jasper will be here around five and Alice when she gets out of the office. Lord knows when that'll be."

I nodded my head as I took in the information. "Should I cook anything? I mean since everyone one will be here?"

She laughed as she opened the refrigerator and freezer, "Does it look like we'll be eating?"

The refrigerator was filled ceiling to floor with drinks and margarita mixes. My heart nearly stopped at the amount. It was insane. We're having a night out not hosting a college frat party!

"Sweet isn't it?"

I was finally able to speak, "Why would we need such an insane amount of alcohol?"

She shrugged as she closed them back up, "I don't know, we didn't really plan. Emmett impulse buys with alcohol."

I laughed and walked to the pantry. "So where's the princess?"

She automatically knew who I was talking to, "Sleeping. I'll wake her up and a…" A smile appeared on her face and my stomach instantaneously hit my gut.

I grabbed a bag a bagels and turned towards her cautiously, "What?"

"Maybe_ you_ should wake her up? It'd be awfully nice."

I placed the bagel in the toaster and tried to understand where she was going with this.

She continued, "She's Edward's best friend, Bella. I think you guys need to get along for Edward's sake."

"Seriously, who are you?"

She couldn't help but laugh, "Kill her with kindness. We both know she thinks she's a bad bitch and fighting fire with fire doesn't work so we might as well make her miserable."

I rolled my eyes. "What do you want me to do? Walk into her room and hope she had a goodnight's sleep?" Her smile somehow got even larger.

A bagel and a forceful pep talk later I was standing outside the bitch's room.

Just open the door. Tell your arm to reach for it. Tell your brain to make your arm do it. Tell yourself to tell your brain to tell your arm to do it.

Why am I so nervous? This is my house. That is my room and those are my sheets she's sleeping in.

Go, Bella, go!

I crept into her room and I took it in. Edward definitely made her feel comfortable. Her clothes were strewn everywhere and it made me shutter at the thought of what the bathroom would look like. Makeup would, no doubt, be caked on the counter with the amount she needed for her mammoth-looking face. I pondered as to what I could do and an idea hit me.

Lights, camera, brightness!

I swung open the blinds and I clapped my hands, "Time to wake up Ms. Bitch!"

Her eyes immediately sprung open as if I summoned the devil. "What did you call me?"

I skipped over to her bed and jumped on it, "I was just saying good morning." Insert fake smile here, "We are going to have the best time today looking for dresses. I suggest you hurry because we're leaving in awhile."

The beady eyes stared at me, "What's _awhile_?"

I made myself look apologetic, "45 minutes. I'm sorry, you just looked so peaceful so I let you sleep. But hurry, go to the bathroom, go!" She gave me a dirty look and with that she went into the bathroom. I couldn't help but place a big, fat smirk on my face. Looking around her room I found her push-up bra and took it with me. Bella: 1. Bitch-0

It turns out that Rosalie was waiting for me outside the door. She immediately took notice of what I had in my hand.

"Ooh, lemme see." She surveyed the bra and scoffed. "What is she? 12?"

We let her get ready in peace while Rosalie helped me set up the guest bedrooms. After countless disagreements about the set up downstairs we were finally finished and so was Ms. Bitch.

"I'm ready." Oddly she stood in the doorway looking somewhat awkward, uncomfortable even. My heart melted a little.

"Okay, well let's go."

We walked into my car and as I reversed I asked Rosalie where we're going.

"To our little _Soho_ district."

I chuckled, "You wish you were in New York, don't you?"

She sighed and clutched her chest, "I would die to go, but with work it's a hell of a shot away."

We continued talking about whatever came up and I realized how amazingly chill this chick was. It was easy to relate to her and I felt like I had known her for years. How could I have thought she was messing with Edward? Inside I shook my head. But no matter how _tough_ I was trying to act, the fact that Tanya didn't say one word this entire fifty minute ride was eating me up inside.

Here goes nothing, "Tanya what have you been up to?"

Rosalie shot me a look but I quickly dismissed it. I waited for her to answer but all I could hear was the hum of my car.

She had better be swallowing her pride to be taking this long to answer, "I've been working." Again I waited for her to speak again but she said nothing.

"What do you do?" I probed again.

"I'm a nurse." I swear it's like pulling teeth with this woman.

"Oh that's nice. What made you want to be a nurse?"

I saw her expression sour in the rear-view mirror.

"Just stuff happened."

Tanya's death stare prompted me to shut up. Let's just say that the rest of the ride was silent and the shopping wasn't that productive either. Rosalie was too preoccupied to making me miserable that I couldn't keep tabs on the girl. After three hours of uncomfortable clothes and fitting room waits, I could honestly say we lost her. Well, no, reword. She lost us. She didn't listen to us when we said we're done and whenever she was done she walked out of the damn store like she drove herself here. So that brings us to the present: Calling Edward for Tanya's number.

Edward's voice rose, "What do you mean you can't find her?"

I rolled my eyes, "Edward, it's not that serious. I just need her number."

I heard him take a deep breath, "907-664-0843." He paused, "You guys didn't do this on purpose, right?"

I resisted the urge to say something smart, "No. Thanks for the number. Bye."

I hung up the phone with allowing him to respond.

He was acting like we lost his blue-ribbon Indonesian parrot or something. It's a girl. A girl who knows what she's doing.

Rosalie called Tanya to get her ass over to the food court.

I placed my head in my hands, "What is his problem?"

"What'd he say?"

"As if you couldn't hear him from where you're sitting." I sighed and ran my hand over my hair. "Where is this girl anyways?"

A good twenty minutes later and Tanya was still a no-show. Rosalie and I decided that we would try and find her no matter how much our feet were hurting.

"This _has_ to be a cruel joke, Rosalie." I squinted my eyes to get a better look on the crowd.

She remained oblivious to my complaint.

"So…" She paused and allowed myself to become nervous. "How are you and Eddy-boy? And before you say: We're okay Rosalie, why wouldn't we be?" Do I really say that _that_ often? " I want you to cut the crap. No more bullshit."

I breathed in and tried to find a place to start. That was easy, "Ever since I slept with some guy, things have been…not so good."

"Before you continue, tell me everything that happened. The truth. I only know Alice's twisted tunnel vision story."

"Well, we were at a party and I was obviously drunk and I got confused."

I left it at that. I pursed my lips and scanned the kiosks for her. For once I needed this girl. I needed to take the attention off of me and back on her. Where it should be.

"Bella," Rosalie paused. Most likely trying to correctly phrase her question, "How do you get _confused_?"

I halted my teeth grinding session to answer her question. Her question that, I'm sure she knew, was loaded with bullets. "When I'm drunk, I get horny." I could feel the blush overcoming my face. "So my drunken logic was that I get Edward and have a little fun."

I heard her snort. Instantly I gave her a death glare. "Rosalie, this isn't funny."

Low laughs poured out of her mouth, "What do you define fun as?"

Rolling my eyes, "You know…_fun_."

"Fun like jumping on a trampoline?"

I deadpanned, "No."

"Rollercoasters?"

"No."

"Singing 90s songs in your car?"

"No, Rosalie!"

Her laughter filled my head, "I won't stop until you say it!"

I mashed my lips together out of frustration. She knew what I was talking about. She knew. She just wanted me to say. Well, fine. Rosalie gets what she wants, yet again!

"Sex! Okay! I wanted to have sex with him!"

A twinkle appeared in her eyes, "Oh no. You didn't want to have sex with him. You wanted to _smush_ with him. Get freaky with him. You wanted to whip out the leather and spank his little tush!"

An old lady mortifyingly looked at Rosalie and walked a little faster. Oh, Lord.

"I swear you get off by talking about people's sex life. Especially mine."

"Yes, Bella, you're _lack_ of a sex life is what gets me off each and every night."

I rolled my eyes yet again. "And you had to take it to the next level."

Her face calmed, "In all seriousness, how did he take it?"

I guess you could blame the fact that I had no source to vent to but I was suddenly overcome by verbal diarrhea. "He left me. Like it wasn't even the day after. He just drove me home, packed his stuff, and left. And I was a hot mess. I don't know if it was the alcohol or the fact that we've never been apart that made him leaving so horrible, but I think it's actually made me stronger. I mean a couple days later, I grew confident in knowing that I would get him back no matter what I wanted to do. Plus I couldn't stand not having him by my side. He really is all that I have." I ended my powerful rant with a mumbled sentence. A mumbled sentence that made me feel somewhat insecure with the honesty that was packed in it. He _is_ all that I have.

"Bella, I know this may be out of context or whatever, but you can't be that dependent on a man. It just isn't healthy. What if he does leave you? He decides that he doesn't want to be with the woman that cheated on him and wants some other girl? What are you going to do? Become a mess? No. That's not an option. Who knew I'd be teaching a _married_ woman how to be independent?"

"But you don't understand. He makes me so much happier than I would be without him. I can't picture my future without him. The father of my children, growing old. Those are all the things I imagine for us. I mean when we're not fighting, we're great. He comforts me, I comfort him. It's just that we haven't had any problems. That's why this is so rocky."

"Denial is basically dripping from ever word you just said." I cast my eyes down. She was right. "Let me tell you something that I've observed. You suck at voicing your opinion when something happens and you bottle it in. He sucks and I mean _sucks_ at expressing his feelings no matter if it could kill him. So that makes you unleash all of your fury out on him which makes him even more defensive. And you might think that he's open with you but I'm pretty sure that you don't know everything about him especially with his mouth of steel glued shut."

I was speechless. I've never been called out to that degree before and _wow_ did it feel…shitty.

I didn't know which was harder to accept: That she has observed this within the past few days or that Edward really doesn't talk to me. At least not on a real heart to heart level.

Rosalie began speaking, "Now I'll let that sink in for you because I know that was a lot and I'm sorry that I had to lay it out like that but…"

I couldn't focus that much to what she was saying because another voice filled my ears. It was a woman's for sure. A full out screaming match with whoever she was talking to, but I couldn't tell where it was coming from.

"Shh…"

Her face instantly showed she was offended.

"No! Listen!"

The woman was quiet and then there was a loud sigh, "No. I'm not agreeing to this. I deserve him just as much as you and what sickens me is that you never wanted him in the first place!"

Rosalie and I looked at each other with the recognition of who it was.

Tanya.

We shuffled closer together to try and understand the words that were flying out of her mouth.

"I'm here for some support which you've never done. You say you want him now but have you ever thought that supporting him means supporting me? I don't understand why you're doing this!" Her voice became unstable and I could hear the tears forming.

My heart became even softer towards her.

"You force me out of my home, take him away from me, and all for what? Tell me." In her listening to the person's reply I could hear her trying to calm down.

"Because I'm an unfit…?" She scoffed, "I can't deal with this here. You're not taking him that is final."

I was stunned in silence. What _is_ she dealing with?

But then if things couldn't get even worse, she turns around so fast we weren't able to react.

Her face automatically refigured itself into a stone wall.

Being at a loss for words, Rosalie stammered, "…Tanya."

All I could get out was, "We tried to call you."

She sneered, "I was obviously caught up, don't you think?"

Rosalie again tried to say something but was cut off by Tanya, "I'm tired, let's go home."

I've never seen a girl walk so fast for the elevator.

The car was difficult. I was torn between comforting her or face the threat of getting my head bitten off by her. To make matters worse the moment we step inside I get a text from Edward.

**From: Edward**

**To: +513-449-3820**

What did you to her?


	12. Understanding

Listen To My Words

Chapter 12

"Understanding"

**Here's the story…**

What did I do to her? What did _I _do to _her_? I didn't do anything. What happened, happened. No matter if I was next to her or on the other side of the mall, what happened wasn't even my fault. I threw my phone on the couch and watched a Rosalie set the bags on the floor.

"What is it now?"

I shook my head, "No matter what I do, it's my fault."

She let me have my silence. I'm going to give this another go. I'm going to talk to Edward, but I'm not going to fight for answers, I'm not going to argue with him, I'm just going to try to understand where he is coming from. What he sees and feels. It's going to be hard to keep my mouth shut and take whatever he dishes out on me, but it will be for the best. I think.

Rosalie gathered the bags up again and headed up stairs. I was going to follow her, but the image of Tanya popped into my head. I should go talk to her although I don't particularly fancy her. She did seem to be quite distressed. Torn even.

But I continued into my room only to put the confrontation with her to another date.

"Here we are!" Rosalie placed out the dresses and accessories in front of me. "Now, you could make this dress sexy or skanky since you just had to pick the _either/or _dress. I was think that…"

I cut her off, "I want to look sexy." I smiled and picked up some of the silver jewelry. "This dress is revealing enough, Rosalie. Are you never satisfied?"

We arranged Alice's things and made a snack for when the rest of the gang arrives. Tanya's conversation kept playing over and over in my mind. What was so drastic in her conversation? I don't know the girl so I don't know her life. I really should just let this slide, but it kept tugging at my brain.

The doorbell interrupted my train of thought. I walked and saw Emmett and Jasper.

I opened the door and was immediately welcomed by Jasper.

"How have you been?" His question had a deeper meaning.

"Im doing..well, Jasper, well."

He hugged me, "That's good to know." Once I was released I looked towards Emmett.

"I haven't partied with you in the longest time, Emmett."

He stood there looking somewhat uncomfortable, "Yeah, I know. It's gonna be a fun night though, right Jazz?"

I noticed how he just flipped the switch, but I let it slide. Jasper filled me 100% in to what was happening tonight and I must say I'm pretty happy. We haven't had a full out party night in years. We were going out like college students. All or nothing.

Shortly Edward arrived and to say the least he looked shaken-up. His greetings to everyone were curt and he awkwardly stood in the conversation mindlessly glancing over at me. He was really beginning to freak me out. The note he wrote replayed in my mind and I started to connect the dots. He wanted to speak to me about whatever he needed to get off his chest. My heartbeat increased in rhythm. I don't want a fight, especially when everyone who's anyone in my personal life is downstairs.

So I avoided him. As I watched him slowly get closer to me, I'd do something that would land me on the other side of the room or wrapped up in deep conversation but eventually he got to me.

He wrapped his hand around my arm and whispered in my ear, "Can you come with me upstairs?" His breath sent chills down my spine.

I tried to back out, "Rosalie wanted me to…"

But the look on his face slowed my words. "Ok."

He closed the door and looked at me, but he didn't say anything.

"What did you want to talk about?"

I moved to the bed and laid down waiting for him to answer. The bed dipped down and I felt his arm wrap around me and his head lay on my stomach.

"Bella, you know I love you. I always will."

I tried to fight the confusion that fogged my brain.

"Okay." He could go anywhere with leading a conversation like this.

"My mom called me this morning about a letter that she found at the house. A letter about us." He reached in his pocket and placed it in my reached out hand.

"What's this…" I trailed off as I read the address.

_Johnson Reproductive Clinic_

I inaudibly drew in a breath and I was overcome with anxiety and anticipation. I looked up at Edward.

He spoke softly, "Read it."

I scanned the information on the page.

_Fertility Rate…Compatibility…Chance…._

Edward and I have been trying to have a child relentlessly for the past few years, but nothing has worked. This was our last resort. I never wanted to be the woman that couldn't give their husband a child and I never thought I would be. It pained me knowing that Edward was becoming more and more frustrated with himself. That's why we took a break from babies and I wouldn't say things were perfect but they were going well. Plus, with everything that has been going on I honestly have forgotten about the letter I was expecting. Now I don't know whether to be happy, sad, expectant. I don't know where this letter puts Edward and me.

"What does this mean?"

His eyes lit us as he began to speak, "This means we can start again. I mean, when things get better but we _can_ have child, Bella, together."

His words warmed my heart. We could be normal again. Everything put aside, we can finally start over.

"I would love to have a child with you, Edward." He slid up to my lip to place kiss and rested his hand on my hip.

"How was your day," He breathed against my lips.

My mood soured as I remembered what happened today. Why was I always so lost in Edward, oblivious to anything that just happened?

"It could have been better," I clued onto his face to see how he felt.

"Yea…about that."

Here's your pep talk, Bella: Remember. You're here to understand him, not fight. Find out how he feels and his take on the situation. Bringing up past stuff does not count. If he brings anything from the past let it slide and stay focused.

He sat up on the bed, "What happened?"

"Well…this morning Rosalie was here so we went to the mall to look for dresses. We kept losing her throughout looking in stores so eventually we just spilt up so we called you and tried to call her but she didn't answer. Then we found her and she was talking to someone. Then we left. She was upset from the phone call not us. We didn't do anything."

He processed what I said but still looked confused, "Who was she talking to?"

"I don't know. She was talking about someone being taken away and supporting her or something. I couldn't really…"

He immediately perked up, "Someone being taken away?" I nodded. He muttered, "Shit."

"What?"

"Nothing." He muttered something under his breath and started to scoot off the bed.

What is he so worked up over? "Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing you need to worry about."

He started to open the door. "Why don't you tell me anything? Why do you always want to keep me in the dark about what's going on?"

He froze and slowly turned towards me, "What do mean?"

"Right now. You know something that's going on with Tanya. You never told me why she has to be here. Why you guys are together all…"

He cut me off with a scoff, "This is about your jealousy of Tanya, isn't it?"

Jealousy? Hell no. I just wanted to know why she's prancing around here if she's such a great family friend that she could stay at the family house.

"I'm not jealous of her."

"Obviously you are if you get all peeved whenever I'm with her."

He doesn't get it. "It's not that you're with her that bothers me. It's…"Stay focused. "I just want you to keep me informed in what is happening."

"Happening? Whatever is happening doesn't involve you." His voice came out harsh. Stab to the chest much, Edward. "I didn't even want to fight with you right now."

I stopped him before he could speak, "I'm not trying to fight, I'm only trying to understand everything that going on. I'm just really confused right now. I don't even know where we stand."

He closed the door again and walked in my direction. "Didn't I just say that I want to have a child with you? Aren't I still here? Am I not waking up and going to sleep in the same bed?"

I rubbed my face, "No, Edward that's not what I mean. Why does she have to come to you when you're going through other stuff? Why do we have to be put on the back burner?"

He slowly shook his head, "She needs me right now."

"Can't someone else help her?"

"No, why can't you understand that?"

"I'm trying to…"

I finally put the pieces in my head. This situation is not going to go. I may have felt that that she was never going to go but now I was certain with all my heart. It was a shaky realization. It seemed to have slapped me in the face. It was bittersweet almost and I didn't know what to feel, but something told me I'd have to accept this. No matter how it made me feel. So I sucked it up and pretended that it didn't bother me a much as it did. I pretended that I accepted his reason.

"I'm sorry I brought it up. I was really only trying to understand." I felt defeated.

"I know, let's go downstairs." He placed his arm around my shoulder and guided me downstairs.

The tiny feminist part of me wanted to yell that I wasn't going to step down for him and then proceed to throw him down the rest of the steps. I felt like I was lying to myself and wondered how insanely stubborn he was on this topic, but then again could their situation be that serious?


	13. New Perspective

Listen To My Words

Chapter 13

""

**Here's the story…**

"Wooo! Party hardy let's get this night started!" Rosalie screamed at the top of her lungs and danced towards a table. We were all scattered around a large booth like table with a try full of drinks in the middle.

"What are they?" I asked Rosalie next to me.

She grabbed up shot glass and threw it back. Emmett let out a wolf call, "That's the spirit!"

She let out a careless laugh, "Vodka and something else. Here have some." I took the glass and threw it back as well. It burned down my throat. Everyone cheered and I felt of wave of embarrassment wash over me.

"We've got her drinking now we can really have fun!" Jasper exclaimed. We all took countless shots and before we knew it we were all a little bit too far down the tunnel of drunkenness.

I felt someone grab hold of my hand. Alice's faced popped up in my sight. "Come dance with me!" She dragged me to the floor and I was surrounded. Bodies danced all around me pushing me in different directions. It made me smile. A lot. There was just something about dancing with tons a people you don't know that makes you have so much more fun. Countless numbers of songs passed and I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. This didn't startle me. It was either Guy-With-The-Blue-Hat or Tall-Blonde-Guy who were dancing around me the whole time. Emmett came up and questioningly looked up at the guy behind me. I closed my eyes and let the music take me over. Emmett's voice got louder and he started shouting at the guy. I couldn't understand either of them until I tuned my ears onto just them. This seemed familiar. The guy's voice seemed familiar. And as it all hit me with a crashing reality I wanted to smack myself for not being aware of what is going on around me. I tried to wait for one of the flashing lights to hit his face but it always seemed to miss him. Emmett said something and walked away. I tried to call after him but I lost him somewhere in the crowd.

I slowly turned back around to see Jared standing there. It was just me and him. Not even my recent dancing buddies were to be found. I saw his arm reach out towards me, but I dashed before he could touch me. This situation could've been a Nintendo game or something. Or I'm Pac Man trying to get away from this creep behind me. I tried to pardon myself as I bombarded my way through the crowd. I saw the table insight and walked a little bit faster. Or I at least tried to with these heels and my sudden drunken stupor.

Jasper's head came into sight when I was tugged by an arm. I freaked out and threw my hand against him but he had my hands pinned with his other one.

"Bella, it me!" Edward's face was lit by the flashing lights. I let out my breath realizing how long I was holding it.

He looked over my face, "You okay?"

Taking another breath I nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine."

A smile slowly appeared on his face, "I haven't seen you since Alice dragged you off. We haven't gotten to dance. "

"How about now?"

Edward opened his mouth but was interrupted by Tanya. She whispered something in his ear and he nodded. "Hold that though, okay? We're going to take a quick walk."

He started to back away , "Edward!"

"Next song, I promise!" He yelled.

"Don't…" and he was gone. "…leave me here." I muttered dumbly to myself. I shuffled my feet thinking of what to do. Looking back at the table where Jasper was I realized he was lip-locked with Alice. Can't go there. Lord knows where Emmett and Rosalie where.

_Thanks, Edward. _

Well, Bella. It's time to put on your big girl panties. You can be at a club alone. You don't need anyone. Heck, guys are lucky to see you standing here all glammed up with no competition.

_You're not fooling anyone._

A new song started playing and I said to imaginary Edward, "You're late." I started to walk to an empty booth and I heard someone behind me.

"Actually I think I'm right on time." I could practically see his smirk by listening to his voice. Smug bastard.

I sat in the booth facing away from him. He sat in front of me and leaned back with his legs wide apart.

"What? No hi?"

I rolled my eyes, "I only say hi to people I know."

He pondered, "Well, what do you want to know about me?"

I stared at him. Is he serious? Why would I want to talk to him? I have no reason to know anything about him.

"Nothing."

He scrunched his face and replied, "Bella, come on. There must be something that you want to know."

He is right. There is something that I want to know, but I don't know if want to boost his self-esteem any higher than it is.

"Ah..I knew you wanted to know something." I really need to stop placing my thoughts on my face.

"What do you want from me?" He opened his mouth. "No. The truth."

He stayed quiet for awhile. I knew he was trying to play mind games with me, but I'm not fooling for this anymore. If I'm going to start sticking up for myself I might as well start now.

He shrugged, "Nothing better to do." He's got to be shitting me. "Plus I have a proposal for you."

"Jared, I don't want to know."

"Oh, I think you do. Listen to this. I could get you your job back."

He has 1% of my attention now.

"But?" I asked.

"You'd work for me."

"No." Not just no but hell no. As in, I would rather be burned alive than to be forced to be in contact with him.

He scoffed but then perked up, "That's okay. Think it over. I'll give you a couple more chances."

"No."

His mouth twitched and turned down, "That didn't count. I'll let you think this over." He got up and left the booth disappearing in the moving bodies.

I sighed and ran my hand over my hair. Scanning the club I tried to make out Edward's body but my search was useless. This night blows, but then again why would I think this night would go any better than it is? I couldn't even make believe an awesome night in a drunken stupor since I was sobered up by Jared's appearance.

This is one serious case of FML. I stumbled over to our booth to check the time on my phone. _1:53 AM._ My heart skipped. At least it's almost time to go. Rosalie shimmied up to the table.

"We're about to leave, okay? Where's Eddie?"

I shrugged, "Probably outside. I'll go get him."

She sat down and as I walked away Emmett walked up to the booth as well. I'm glad to see someone can keep her man. I exited the club showing the bouncer the stamp on my hand and I stepped out onto the curb. The street was pitch black except a few lights around the next traffic symbol.

_What am I getting myself into? _

I turned right and started walking down the street. Of course stupid me didn't bring her phone. I looked up at the buildings surrounding me. They reminded me of the condos in New York. Rosalie would love living down here. It could be a substitute. I came up to a corner and stood there for a couple seconds. I felt like Rebecca Black. Which street can I take? And you know someone is having a crappy night when they make a reference to Rebecca Black.

Straight. Right. Straight. Right.

Something told me to turn back so I did. This is ridiculous. I'm here walking half-naked on a pitch black street looking for a guy that I'm pretty sure isn't even looking for me. He's probably giggling with her talking about how good his life is. Little does he know his marriage sucks. It sucks hard. And he's stupid.

Ok, maybe I'm drunker than I let myself know.

I started to walk back and I heard voices behind me. I halted in my step but continued on. The more they continued, the more I could make out that the voices were of a man and a woman. A man and woman that I know. I knew I shouldn't listen in but I can't necessarily stop my ears from listening can I?

"You don't have to worry about anything. Trust me." I scoffed. Let _her _trust you, Eddie.

"You've been more help than I could ask for…" How about not ask in the first place? "Are you sure I'm not causing any problems?"

He hesitated in speaking. I was put on edge waiting for his response. "Eh…nothing that can't fixed."

My breath hitched. _Nothing that can't be fixed._ Sure, I may be overreacting. Dwelling too much on one little statement, but I can't lie to say that what he said didn't affect me. In my mind, he said that no matter what this woman comes in between it can be fixed. Our marriage. Our relationship. Our future. It's just a moveable piece in the puzzle of his life. Disposable, even. He can pick back up where he left it, dust it off, and it's good as new. Well I was pretty sure that _we_ were a priority. Not a pipe dream 20 notches down the list. I was so wrapped up in what he said that I didn't hear the rest of their conversation.

"Bella!" I turned around to Tanya calling me and I saw Edward, arm wrapped around Tanya, waving me down.

Edward spoke up, "We were calling you. You didn't hear?"

I was caught off guard. Tanya seemed…happy. "Yeah…I…was thinking. I wasn't really paying attention."

Tanya's face became confused.

"What are you doing out here?" I looked back at Edward.

"I was looking for you guys. It's…time to go."

"Oh, well good thing we didn't stay out longer, huh, Tanya?"

She laughed, "They'd left us and we wouldn't notice until the sun rises."

The rest of the night was a blur. It could've been a mix of the alcohol and my sudden depressed mood. I felt shot down. Under the weather. Pushed aside. Dare I say, unwanted. Everyone was downstairs chilling after getting ready for bed. I decided to take extra time for my shower. Limit the time spent with everyone else. I shook my wet hair out from the towel I used to hold it up. Jared's _proposal_ ran through my head. His smug self holding the opportunity out in front of me. I wanted to ask him more details about the job. What I would be doing. If I would have to be in direct contact with him every day. I could withstand every now and then. It wouldn't be _that_ bad. I shrugged at myself in the mirror and placed on my clothes. As I walked out of the bathroom, Edward walked in.

"Hey, you just got out?"

I nodded and picked up a comb for my hair. I sat down on the bed and began combing, "Is everyone going to bed?"

He ran his hand though his hair, "Yeah, when Jasper fell asleep on the couch midsentence we all decided it was time to go to bed." He laughed and went under the sheets. He propped himself up on the headboard. "Are you okay?"

I stopped combing. I guess I've been _catatonic_ for the past hours. "I'm fine."

He didn't say anything , but made himself comfortable. "Really what is it?" He sighed, "If it's about the dance that I promised then I'm sorry. I forgot."

I quietly scoffed. "Trust me, it's not the dance."

"Then what is it?"

"I just have a lot to think about right now."

"Would you like to share with me? I'm all ears."

I squinted me eyes. I'm so glad I'm facing away from him because if he could see my face this would be Fight #2 of the day. He's all ears. Yeah, all ears and no understanding. I am turning into bitter woman. If I don't get a hobby, I'm going to be the wife from hell. He's the center of my life when I'm not his. No wonder I'm not happy. I can't have him be the reason I'm happy. I have to find my own reason. Do something with my life.

Get a job.

I started to comb my hair again, "Well, someone I met at the club offered me a job, and I think I might take it up."

"Well, didn't we agree that you'd be staying at home?"

I got up and picked up a towel, patting my ends, "Well, I decided I'm going to work."

His face showed a hint of annoyance, "I can provide for us so why work?"

I shrugged and walked into the bathroom placing the towel in the hamper. I knew I was testing his patience by being aloof. "I'm making changes in my life. The first one is to be happy and that involves not making you the center of my life. Second is to start having friends apart from yours. Third is to go out more often." I climbed up into the bed, "And fourth is to get a good night's sleep." I smiled and placed a long kiss on his lips. He didn't respond but he moved his hand on top of my shoulder. I pulled away before he could say anything and turned off my lamp light.

"Goodnight, I love you." I made myself comfortable in the sheets.

"Bella."

I wasn't going to respond to him. My new life was going to start tomorrow. independent wife. Take One.

"Bella."

Does he not know I'm trying to sleep?

"Are you serious?" He huffed and pulled some of the covers over to his side. He started to mumble, "She's the one saying 'Can we talk, can we talk?' and now she's ignoring me? What the fuck is her…"

"Shh..its' time to sleep."

I smiled and closed my eyes. This is quite amusing. As I drifted off to sleep I heard him mutter again.

"What the fuck?"


	14. Rewind

Listen To My Words

Chapter 14

"Rewind"

I woke up to a bright bedroom and the sound of chirping birds outside my bedroom.

Just kidding.

I mainly woke up to Edward's loud snoring and murmurs coming from downstairs. I slept well. For Edward, who knows how his night went? I crept downstairs to the kitchen and saw Rosalie and Tanya. They looked as if they came back from running.

"Good morning," I greeted them.

"Hey, Bella. Sleep well?" Rosalie took a sip from her bottle.

I shrugged, "More or less. What were you guys up to?"

Rosalie motioned to Tanya and she spoke up, "We went for a run. Your neighborhood is beautiful. I've never really been able to look at." She genuinely smiled.

"Thanks," I shuffled my feet. She seems happy.

"Look, Bella," I looked back at her, "I know we got off to a rocky start…" I chuckled. _Rocky_? I wanted to pin this girl to the wall and throw knives at her. "…and I just want to say I'm sorry. Edward is such a great guy and has been such a great help to me the past months." _Months_? "And they way he talks about you." She started to smile, "He really loves you and anyone he loves that much, I should get to know. So what do you say? Do over?"

I looked between her and Rosalie. Rosalie shrugged. "Why not? It'd make things a lot happier around here."

She smiled again and came up to hug me. In mid hug I realized how big her boobs really were and it was a sudden blow to my ego. It was like hugging a marshmallow. A marshmallow that is sweaty and she soon realized that.

"I'm sorry! I get excited." I looked at Rosalie again. I am honestly confused. Where did the venom spitting bitch go and who _is_ this woman? I joined them by sitting on one of the barstools.

I wondered what had changed from yesterday and today. She seemed pretty shaken up from the phone call but then last night after talking with Edward everything was fine. What happened?

Rosalie threw away her bottle and asked Tanya, "Now I'm asking this because I'm worried not to be nosey, what happened yesterday?"

I'm seriously considering Rosalie being a mind reader. She just read my mind.

"Well…it's a long story really." Tanya's eyes shifted.

"We're not here to judge you, isn't that right, Bella?"

I animatedly nodded, "No judging." This woman better speak because I want to know. Whatever's been going these past _months_ better be serious for Edward to be lying about it.

"Well, I have a son." Shocking news. This woman has a child? "He's going to be 3 this September and only Edward and my close family know and well you guys now."

She has a child?

"Are you with the father?" Rosalie asked.

She nervously chuckled, "That's where all the trouble begins. He's trying to take custody when he doesn't even care about Isaac."

Isaac. I've heard Edward say that name before, but I can't remember when he's said it.

"That's who called me yesterday. Threatening to take me to court." She fiddled with her fingers. I could tell she was worried, but where did Edward come into this.

I urged her, "So Edward."

She smiled while looking at her hands, "Edward. He has more than helped. He got me a lawyer to take on the case and he even watches Isaac when his father bails out and I have to work."

I stopped her right there, "He travels all the way to Alaska to watch your son?"

Rosalie and Tanya looked at me like I had two heads, "Alaska? I live in Almira."

I must've definitely misheard that, "Oh…continue."

"I can never repay him. I mean, even this. Letting me stay at your house is more than I could ask for."

Maybe I don't need to get my answers from Edward. "He invited you to stay here?"

"No, we were just going to have dinner the night that I came in town, but Isaac's father took Isaac and we fought so I left earlier than usual. Edward said it was no problem and he said I could stay with him."

They were going to have dinner. They _planned_ to have dinner. I felt my blood start to boil. This man has lied to me. Made me feel like _I_ was going crazy, but he's the one who was lying.

"So he's been talking to you…"

She noticed where I was going, "Please don't be mad at Edward. He was only trying to help me. He was the only one that could help me. I begged him to not tell you."

So many thoughts were racing in my hands all I could do was bounce my leg.

Tanya tried to calm me down, "He loves you so much, Bella. Even though you guys are fighting now, he still loves you. He always tells me…"

I cut her off, "Stop talking. You don't know about us. Don't come in here acting like you do." I got up and stormed off to my bedroom. Where does this even leave me? He's been lying for God knows how long. Edward was in the shower so I stood in the middle of the room trying to figure out what I'm going to do. There is one person that I could talk to though I'm not sure how available he is.

It's worth a shot. Edward was able to flee the scene when I did something wrong. I should be able to do the same thing. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt to wear after my shower. I didn't wait for him to get out. I didn't want to see him. I needed to sort things out in my head. Understand. So I went to one of the guestroom's bathroom.

And as soon as I got in, I was out. Out driving on the highway hoping that the way to his house was the way I was driving. I haven't spoken to Jacob since that one day in the car and it was barely a conversation.

What am I stupid? I can't just stroll up to his house when he isn't expecting me. We're not even that close. Not anymore. I tried to call him but I was just sent to voicemail.

After a few failed attempts I left a voicemail, "Uh..Hey Jake. It's Bella, obviously, and I was wondering if you would like to get something to eat today. Maybe the Coral Café on 3rd Street at noon?" My voice became thick, "I just need someone to talk to…that's…yeah. I'll be there. Bye." My eyes started to water, but I refused to cry. I've cried too much lately. Cried over him not talking to me, but now it all makes sense. I understand why he didn't want to tell me anything. He was lying. How can you tell someone something that never happened? I parked in front of the café and looked at the clock. I still had about an hour of waiting but I'm fine just sitting here. I soon get a call from Jacob.

"Hello?"

I heard him sigh, "Bells. What's wrong?"

I smiled, "What makes you think something is wrong? I just wanted to talk."

"Stop trying to act tough. You don't need to be that way with me. I'm on my way right now."

He knows me too well. "I'll get a table,"

"Ok, bye."

I saw him stroll in with his hoodie on and jeans. He always looks so comfortable. He spotted me and I stood up.

"Hey, Bells," He enveloped me in a hug.

"Hey, Jake. How have you been?"

He chuckled, sat down and looked away, "This isn't about me and you know that."

I sighed, "Yeah."

He put his elbows on the table and leaned in, "What's been up?"

"Edward and I are back together but the night we were supposed to come back home, he came in the middle of the night with a woman. Well he lied to me saying he lost track of time and forgot about me."

Jacob scoffed, "Forgot about you? What?"

"He had to quickly stop by work and then he was going to come back to his parent's house, where I was, and pick me up."

"Why'd he have to come get you?"

"I didn't have my car." He looked confused, "We had dinner that night that I talked to you so we left for his parent's house because that's where he was staying."

"Why was he staying there?"

I shrugged, "He said he was more comfortable?"

"That's weird. Have I ever told you how _off_ this guy is?"

"Jake." He smiled and I continued, "So he came home with the woman who happens to be a family friend that he 'ran into unexpectedly'. I was mad; he didn't understand why I wasn't ok with it. We fought. Next day they're all buddy-buddy because they're best friends and he continually picks her over me. I was mad; he didn't understand. We fought. Next day Rosalie and I took the girl dress shopping and she got this call that upset her so we went back home and Edward blamed me for making her mad. Which made me mad because he's doing all these things without realizing how it makes me feel. I was tired of it and he got mad at me for bringing it up. We went out to the club and he ditched me to take a walk with her outside and didn't realize how it made me feel _again_. So I decided that I wasn't going to live up his butt anymore and get a life."

Jacob nodded, "That's good. I told you when you guys started dating to lay off this dude. I'm happy that you finally understand. I really am."

"But this is where it gets messed up. This morning the girl, who Edward said he hasn't seen since high school, told me that he's been seeing her for years. That he's been helping her out with her son who is almost 3 years old and got her a lawyer for a custody dispute."

Jacob's eyebrows shot up, "What the fuck?"

"All this time he's been making me feel stupid for wanting to know why she was here. He's been lying to me for how long." I tried to hold back my tears. "So I just up and left when I heard about it. I couldn't be in the house with everyone there."

"Dumb fuck."

"Jacob…"

"No. You don't understand, Bella. You can't have him treat you this way. What kind of man makes his wife feel stupid so she doesn't notice he's lying to her? A sick man. No one should treat you like that. You deserve better. Three fucking years he's been lying to you, and, probably, even more." He scoffed, "I'd like to hear his excuse for this. Fucking helping her with her son. Why couldn't he have told you this? What did he have to hide?"

I looked down, "I don't know. I have no clue how to approach it."

"Well obviously, you guys are going to split up, right?"

Split up? "I wasn't planning on…"

"Come on, Bells." He threw his arms up in the air, "From the looks of it, you guys were fighting every day since you got back together. That isn't healthy."

"But I love him so much." I want us to be together. For him to be the father of my children. We can have children together.

"Does he love you?"

"Yes. I know he does."

He rolled his eyes, "Doesn't seem like it."

Talking with Jacob is helpful but sometimes he doesn't understand. "You don't know him."

"Look. I know you love this man, but what he did isn't right. You can't have someone manipulate you so you look like the bad guy. At least separate for awhile. Do you because clearly he's doing him."

"Separating takes paperwork. I don't want to put him through court and do all of that."

Jacob thought for awhile, "Emotional separation?"

I thought about it for awhile.

"Well, Bella, how do you feel about this? I've been speaking my mind. Speak yours."

I felt distant from myself. I didn't know I felt. "I don't know how I feel. I…guess in a way I knew something had to be up. Lately I've just felt so pushed aside that I'm used to it? It only solidifies the fact that I need to have my own life. Find myself. And then see if he is who I thought he was." I looked up at Jacob, "Does that sound like a plan?"

He slowly nodded, "Sounds like a great plan. Find yourself. Start living for yourself."

We had some lunch and we parted ways. I was going to talk to Edward. Find out why he thought what he did was okay. If he loves me as much as he says he does, why did he lie to me? You don't do that to someone you care about. You don't keep pushing them away because you'll know they'll come back. You hold on to them so they'll stay. I don't know if we'll split. I don't know if we'll stay together. All I know is that I'm going to find myself and Edward can choose to be apart or a part of it.


	15. Clearing the Air

Listen To My Words

Chapter 8

"Or Can It Get Worse Part 1"

Waking up next to Edward felt nice. The warmth of his body flush against mine made me feel comfortable. Almost too comfortable with all that just happened. It's sort of weird. No matter how much chaos is going around me, if Edward is there, all is healed. As if there was nothing wrong to begin with. I took a deep breath in and wiped my sore eyes. I could tell they were irritated. I guess no contacts for me today. Edward shuffled and breathed into my back. He drew me in closer to him as I tried to reach for my phone on the dresser.

He half mumbled, "Stay with me." His morning wood was pushed up against my back. I tried to look back at him but I failed miserably. Not all of us were born with an owl's neck.

"Edward, I need to see what time it is." He tightened his hold on me. He's not making this easy.

"I…know what time…it is," He groggily said. I waited for him to tell me the time. All I got was his heavy breathing on my neck.

I nudged him, "Edward, what time is it?"

He moved a little, "It's…like eleven…" He breathlessly answered me.

Eleven WHAT? "What did you say?" I tried to calm my breathing. It can't be eleven. No. No. It can't be.

"Bella, I said it's like eleven thirty or something," He was getting grumpy. I immediately jumped out of the bed and grabbed my phone.

**6 Missed Calls!**

**3 New Voicemail!**

**1 New Text Message!**

_Shit. _I tucked my hair behind my ear and unlocked my phone. I rapidly scrolled down to the notification bar and I nearly crapped myself.

**New Text Message – Elana Ortega **_**10:52 AM**_

**New Voicemail – Kyle Freeman **_**10:03 AM**_

**Missed Call – Kyle Freeman **_**10:02 AM**_

**New Voicemail – Elana Ortega **_**9:47 AM**_

**Missed Call – Elana Ortega **_**9:46 AM**_

**New Voicemail – Mr. Dawson **_**9:29 AM**_

**Missed Call – Mr. Dawson **_**9:28 AM**_

**Missed Call – Elana Ortega **_**9:21 AM**_

**Missed Call – Elana Ortega **_**9:17 AM**_

**Missed Call – Elana Ortega **_**9:11 AM**_

I slowly placed my hand over my mouth as I read the screen. Four of those calls were from Elana. I touch the screen to open the text.

**From: Elana Ortega **

**To: +513-449-3820**

_You better have a good reason for not showing up to the 9AM meeting, Bella. Another eight execs were unimpressed. One of those being Mr. Dawson. My office at 11:15. No later. _

Crap! It's 11:37 now. I groan as I place my phone back on the nightstand. I hang my head and sit on the edge of the bed. Eight freaking execs? I'll be surprised if I even have my job when I get there. Edward's arms wrap around my torso and he lays his head next to my leg.

"Bella?" I deeply sigh as I run my hand through his hair.

"I'm screwed." I look out of the window. I just don't get it. I choose to pay attention to my personal life once in my career and this happens. I think I deserve a little leeway even though I'm not the most productive employee.

"Why?" I can't answer Edward. I'm too freaked out. I have no idea what to think. I was thrown into real life within a matter of seconds. I knew this Cloud 9 thing wasn't legit. I take his arms off of me and stand up to get dressed. I search through my bag and find my clothes. Defeated, I walk into his bathroom, whip up a quick shower, clean myself up and I'm ready for work. I may not look so modest but I at least look somewhat professional. Thank goodness I didn't take a tank top instead last night. Walking back into the bedroom I see Edward sitting up in bed with his hands in his hands. I walk over to him and hug him. He envelops me and I feel him breathe me in.

"Will you be back?" Edward runs his hands through his hair. He honestly looks like shit. Did he even sleep last night?

I play with a couple bangles on my arm, "I don't know. What's our plan?"

He looks around at his room, "I'm fine staying here, to be honest."

I hope he doesn't plan on sleeping here for the rest of his life because he's making it seem that way. With or without him, I'm staying at our house. Well maybe not without him. He just needs to come home.

"But for how long, Edward?"

He sighed and rubbed his face, "I don't know, Bella. Once we get everything situated."

_Situated._ I want to go back home. At least I know I have a place there. I'm in the house of my husband. The husband that I cheated on. I don't think that I'm the most welcome.

"I wasn't exactly invited here, if you remember."

"Well, who cares? You're my wife so you should be welcome."

He doesn't understand how being here makes me feel, "Edward." He looked up at me. "I am not welcome here. You and I both know it. I can't walk downstairs and just grab anything out of the fridge. It isn't like that anymore. I feel like I'll be imprisoned in your bedroom!"

He started picking at his nails and mumbles, "Sorry if here isn't good enough for you."

Continuing to talk to him in one of his 'morning moods' will not fix anything, besides, I really need to get to work. I step out into the hall and dig in my bag for my keys but I can't find them. I slap my head. I forgot that Edward drove us over here. As I walk back into his room I see him still in the same position. Picking at his nails. He looks peeved.

"Edward, can I drive your car?" He pursed his lips as he focused at his nails. He's not fooling me because I know he could care less about them.

"This is really important, Edward. I'm about to lose my job if I hadn't already." He stopped moving and pointed to his pants near his desk. I jogged my way across the room and bent over. As I came up I made sure to flip my hair over my shoulder.

Breathlessly I said thank you to Edward and sauntered out of the room.

When I was halfway out the door Edward spoke up, "You're wearing that to work?" Is he going to criticize me now?

"Yeah." I stared at his face as he looked me up and down, his eyes lingering on my legs. A smirk slowly made its way and he said, "You look nice." I walked out of the house smiling. See ladies, the bend and snap really does work. I laughed as I started his car and pulled out of the driveway. Even though I was in a playful mood, I had to become serious for the torment to come. I had a significant amount of time trying to think of an excuse since I had to park in the far visitor's parking lot. I had to hike my way up past a couple more building's before mine came into view. Taking a deep breath the doorman opened the door and I met my fate.

It's sort of like those movies where someone who has obviously been outcaste walks in and everyone stops talking, moving, and breathing even. Yes. This is my sad, sad life. I pull my chin up as I walk up to Rebecca.

"Where's Elana."

Her face became worried, "You don't want to know Ms. Cullen." _Ms. Cullen?_ Last time I checked Edward and I are still married.

"Mrs. Cullen," I corrected her, "Just tell me where she is. I need to speak with her."

She looks down at a couple papers behind her desk and looks back at me, "You're going to have to get an appointment."

I clench my jaw, "Why?"

"Only employees are allowed to walk back into the meeting area without an appointment. Well obviously because, you know they work here." My brain nearly explodes from what Rebecca just said. Employees? I take a calming breath and count to ten.

"Ms. Cullen…"

I cut her short, "I fucking told you Mrs. Cullen!" I blew up on her. I can't take it anymore. She flinched away from me and smoothed her hair down.

"Okay…um…I'm going to have to call security if you can't calm down."

I smile at her, "Rebecca. There is no need for that. You can go back to whatever you're doing and I will go see Elana." I swiftly walk away past her desk and into the office hallways. She yells after me but I'm a woman on a mission. No slowing me down. So much was going through my mind. Ms. Cullen. Only freaking employees. I don't go directly to Elana. Who knows? She might have me kicked out on the spot so I go to the one person who knows everything about everyone. Kyle.

I was about to knock on the door to the mailroom but he saw me first. He ran up to me frantic.

"Ms. Cullen! You're here! Wow! How'd you get through? Elana said you weren't working here anymore!"

My mouth kept opening and closing. It felt as if my brain was going to shut down on me. "Why are people calling me Ms. Cullen?"

"Mr. Dawson told us that you and Mr. Cullen were separated."

_What the hell._

My voice shook, "That's not true. That is…anything but the truth. Can you just tell me what going on?"

He stroked his chin, "I'm guessing you didn't listen to any of the voicemails, but basically she said if you weren't here by 11:45 you were fired. And since it about 12:15, I'd say you're half an hour late."

"This is straight bullshit." I walk out of the mailroom and pass one of the conference rooms with Jared sitting in a chair. He's eyeing one of the leggy interns as she speaks to him across the room. I barge in.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" I scream at him. I'm furious! How can he just come into my workplace and tell everyone that I was separated?

He seemed shocked but he relaxed as he looked at my expression, "Well, I'm Jared Smith Dawson. I knew you'd come back."

I try to slow my breathing and I storm over to the opposite side of the table he was sitting at. "Don't say a word. Not a fucking word, Jared. You come into my house and mess up my freaking night with him!" I can't even speak. My emotions were all over the place. "You ruined everything. My job is fucking gone! You tell people we're separated! What's wrong with you?"

He clasps his hands together and look right into my eyes, "I don't understand. Should I speak or not?" he smiles.

"Answer the damn question."

"One: I didn't make you lose your job. You're absences did. Two: I didn't tell people you guys were separated. I said divorced, but hey it's telephone in these types of places. And three: What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? You come in here looking like a barbaric woman about to light a gasoline factory on fire."

My lips quiver as I listen to him. How dare he do this to me? "I told you more than once to leave me alone. To get out of my life. Why couldn't you just do that?"

Jared motions towards the other girl, "Cindy, can you give us a minute?" Once she walked out he stood up, "Bella, if you remember correctly, you're the one who came to _me_. You wanted to have sex with _me_. You had _me_ have sex with you." He pushed his body up against mine and spoke in my ear, "What exactly has changed?"

I shudder when I feel his breath on me. It's sickening that it was Edward's breath that was one me and now his. He walked away to draw the blinds for the conference windows. I turned around to watch him. My heart was beating a million times a second in my chest. I didn't know what to do. I was almost frozen in shock. He slowly back to me, "Hmm? What has changed, Bella?" He stood directly in front of me. Our noses were almost touching.

"I don't want you. I never did. I'm dealing with enough shit in my life right now," I spat at. His face got closer to mine and he placed his lips at my ear. I recoiled into the cold glass table in disgust. He kissed me below my ear. I quickly brought my hand up to slap him away but his hand caught hold of my wrist. I was met with instant pain that caused me to yelp.

"Don't do it, Bella. You'll only get hurt." His voice slid into my ears and infected my head. I was overcome by fear. Pure fear as to what he could do to me. It paralyzed my muscles and made it difficult to breathe.

My eyes watered, "You are sick." I pushed him away and he stood next to the table as I slowly back away from him.

"What happened that night was a mistake. Nothing more. You need to leave me alone."

He watched me as I spoke but he didn't say anything, "Understand?"

"Sure, I understand, but it's not like I want to."

I became frustrated, "Why not?"

He started chuckling to himself, "You're like the one who got away. Plus I give you an A+ in being a cocktease. "

I honestly wanted to cry but I did my best to hold in my emotions. I was embarrassed, humiliated, and most of all violated. "I'm leaving." I looked at his eyes while I cautiously as I walked past him. He gave me no trouble on leaving but he called out to me.

"I'll be calling, Ms. Cullen!" I grinded my teeth as I tried to hold whatever dignity I had left.

Sitting in Edward's car I just lost it. A woman should never have to be put in that position. He acts as if I'm a sex doll to him which is anything but the truth. He has no right talk to me like that. To touch me like that. And yet even though what he did puts him at the bottom, why did I feel so dominated by him? Like he's at the top. I can't tell Edward. I won't tell Edward. How could I tell him with all of this going on? I don't even know what's wrong with him. I don't know anything about anyone right now. I'm fired from my job because of an egotistical bitch name Elana Ortega. I've been groped by a man whore. And I don't even know if my husband wants to honestly move back in with me.

My phone started ringing.

**Incoming Call!**

**Carlisle and Esme**

Now what?

I answer.

"Hello?"

Esme silky voice comes through the line, "Hi, Bella. I know this maybe a little short notice, but would you mind coming with us for lunch?"

I smile. I'm being invited to lunch with the family.

"Um, yeah, sure. What are the plans? I'm already on my way to the house."

"Good!" She sounds genuinely delighted, "I'll talk to you when you get here, okay?"

"Okay, see you then." Well I guess every cloud does have a silver lining.

Once I carefully park Edward's car between two cars, I walk into the house. It surprised me that the door was unlocked. Maybe they did that for me? No, Bella. Don't think too positive now. I look around the house for Edward. Everywhere from the sitting room, office, bathroom, his bedroom, but he wasn't there. As I walked out into the infamous hallway, I noticed an indent in the wall. From the paint chipping, I can conclude that Edward has a good left hook. I heard low talking from Alice's bedroom. I didn't want to eavesdrop of you can't exactly tell your ears to stop listening.

Edward calmly says, "You can't keep interfering with my life. I don't want your advice. I don't want you coaching me. I'm sick and tired of you always saying something about anything."

Alice spoke up, "I don't mean to, but I just want you to be happy." She sounded like she was crying.

Edward wasn't buying it, "Bullshit. That's the lamest excuse you've ever given me. Just stop talking to me and Bella…" I stop listening because it's not right. I shouldn't be listening to them talking. I make sure to walk noisily down the hall and I try to find Esme. She did say she'd talk to me when I get home. I'm standing in the kitchen and all I hear is a quiet hum from a TV. I feel so out of place in this house. I truly don't know where to go when Edward isn't around. I'm a visitor. I walk down a hallway to the master bedroom and I knock on the door.

"Esme?" I call out. I see a faint light coming from the other side of the bedroom.

"Yes? Come in! I'm in the bathroom." I slowly enter the room. When you walk in the first thing you see in a large piano that has lighting over it that reflects the trim on it. Behind the piano you see their large bed with carved wooden poles going up to the ceiling. I stare in awe at it and I hear someone clear their throat.

"What are you doing?" My eyes shot over to a blonde girl sitting at the vanity in the bathroom. She looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't place it. Her legs though were gorgeous. My self esteem took a hit for ever mile long they were. She was wearing a blue cotton dress. It was simple but they way she wore it with her gold jewelry made it look like it were made of gold. I suddenly felt trashy in my shorts and heels.

"I was just looking at the carvings," I sounded like I was five years old.

I heard the opening and closing of makeup and soon Esme's voice, "Is that Bella? Bella come in."

I walked into the bathroom and I was again shocked by the massiveness of it. There was a large vanity area with a large mirror. There was a shower that looked like a sauna and their tub. Don't even get me started. I was just standing around looking at the bathroom.

"Well, don't be a stranger. You can sit on the counter next to me." She opened a new package of MAC pressed powder and started to put on her foundation. As she brushed it on she spoke to me, "So how was your day, Bella? Edward said you left for work."

Work. Oh yeah. How could I forget?

I ran my hands through my hair, "It was interesting. I left a lot earlier than I intended."

She nodded her head, "What made it interesting?"

I became nervous and I could feel a blush come over my face. I don't know what to say. I was fired? I almost had security called on my ass? Or should I say I was sexually groped by the guy that I cheated on your son with? How 'bout not.

"I can't really narrow it down. It was my whole time being there." It got awkwardly quiet and the blonde girl was obviously uninterested.

"Bye, Esme. I'll see you when we leave. I'm going to find Edward." Edward? No. They don't have a thing. He wouldn't even find her remotely attractive. No. He doesn't even like blondes. But those legs could make up for the fact. Bella you're kidding yourself. I watched as she left. Esme finished her foundation and turned towards me.

She lowered her voice, "How are you and Edward?"

I looked into her green eyes, "We're good. He seemed..." I was going to fill her in about this morning but I just left it out, "…fine."

She nodded, "You can see what I'm getting at. Last night. I'm guessing you guys had sex and you made it very know to Alice so that set her off. I've told Edward this before: No sex in the house. I don't want you guys having sex." Her tone was very condescending.

I looked at the ground, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"Well you're responsible for your actions, Bella." I heard the hidden meaning in her words and my head snapped up to her.

I had to make sure she meant what I thought she meant, "What do you mean by that?"

She looked at me through the corners of her eyes, "I'm sure you and the whole family know what I mean about that." My eyes enlarged as she spoke. I was offended no doubt. I looked her in the eyes as I walked out of the bathroom. I tried to grasp what just happened in there. Did she just call me out on cheating on Edward? I was beyond shock and the moment I stepped into the kitchen all the chatter stopped. Alice, Emmett and Carlisle looked at me as I looked at them. I crossed my arms over my chest and walked faster out of the kitchen to get to the stairs. As if my day couldn't have got any worse, I walk on Edward in nothing but a towel. That's not the bad part. The blonde chick is straddling him rubbing his back. I nearly faint right there when Edward moans.

"That feels good. Don't stop." She laughs and goes lower on his back. I walk into his bathroom and slam the door shut. I'm going to make it known that I'm here. I'm not sorry that I had to disrupt their feeling session. My breathing quickens and my eyes begin to burn. I turn on the shower and slide down next to the tub. I'm going to go crazy in this house. There are people everywhere criticizing me. And the worst part is: Edward isn't by my side. I haven't seen him once since I've got home.

Someone knocks on the door and then opens it.

"Sorry, I just need some…" her eyebrows raise as she sees me sitting on the floor,"…water." She filled up her cup and began to walk out but she quickly turned around. "Are you okay?"

I stand up and turn off the shower. Slowly I turn towards back to face her, "Yeah, I just needed to…um…calm down. Turning on the shower…" She looked at me oddly. I stopped talking.

Edward came up behind her with only a towel on. "Hey, Bella. Glad to finally see you." She walked out leaving us alone. Edward closed the door behind her wrapped me in his arms. "How has your day been?"

I hold onto him tightly trying to fight away the tears, but I can't. This day has been so tough on me. Tougher than I imagined. He walks us over to the shower and turns it on. He holds me tighter. It feels good to cry. It's more of a release. I'm crying from the embarrassment Jared and Esme caused me. I'm crying for me losing my job. I'm crying because I'm stuck in this stupid house with people that hate me. I started feeling dizzy from hyperventilating.

"Bella…Bella…you need to breath. Calm down and tell me what's wrong."

"Where should I start?" I chuckle as we sit on the side of the tub.

"What happened most recent?"

I become sad again as I remember Edward with her, "Who's that blonde chick?"

"What…? Oh, that's Rosalie. You've met her before,"

I rummage through my mind to find any sort of memory about her but I get nothing.

"I don't remember her, but after I come up from downstairs I see her straddling you and you moaning. What do you think that looks like?"

He thought for awhile and started to smile. He kissed me on the lips and smiled again. "Bella, she was giving me a massage. She's in training to be a masseuse."

Wow I feel stupid. "So she was just massaging you just for the heck of it?" I still don't like the idea of him getting random massages from her.

"No, I hurt my back lifting boxes in the garage with Emmett and Dad. She said she learned something new so she said she'd try it out on me."

Well. That explains things.

"Don't feel stupid, Bella. It was an honest mistake. What else happened today?"

I don't even feel like talking anymore. I feel stupid. No matter how many times he tells me to not feel stupid, I will.

"I talked your mom or she at least talked to me." Edward beamed.

"You did? What did you guys talk about?"

I hesitated, "Our relationship." I looked at him.

"Yeah, go on."

I took a deep breath, "She said the real reason she wanted to talk to me was to talk about you. She said we can't have sex." I looked at Edward and he rolled his eyes. "She said she told you before."

He shook his head, "That's complete and utter bullshit. Alice and Jasper have had sex in the house. Mom knows about it, too."

"She got mad at me, Edward. She acted as if I made you have sex with me. She made me feel dirty. It didn't help that Alice told her that we were being loud." He scrunched his brows together and shook his head.

"I don't care what she thinks about me having sex. It shouldn't bother her." It was obvious that Edward was becoming annoyed. I don't know if I should tell him the rest, but he wouldn't believe that I was crying over us not being able to have sex.

"Then I said I was sorry and she said I have to be responsible for my actions. I was taken back by this because it could obviously mean two things so I asked her and she said I and the family know what she was talking about."

Edward raised one of his brows as he slightly opened his mouth. I heard his breathing quicken as he placed his head in his hands. All I could do was watch him. I feared that he would be mad at his mom for the way she spoke to me. I placed my hand on his back but he shrugged it off. My hand felt as if it were placed on a hot stove. Burned. Hurt.

"I'm sorry, I'm just pretty angry right now. Why would she say that to you? Why?"

I left out the part about me walking into the kitchen. It would only set him off even more. I turned off the shower and sat down to watch him. He was pacing back and forth, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Edward, what are you thinking about?"

He stopped and looked at me. His eyes livid. "I'm thinking about how fucking nosy they are! They don't know when to back the hell up and let me deal with my marriage." I listened to his voice shake off the walls of the bathroom. I'm sure you could hear his voice in the hallway, but he wasn't that loud. I knew he wasn't yelling at me. I knew he wasn't taking it out on me. He was venting. He walked out of the bathroom to put on some clothes. I followed him. I think this is the time to tell him about the Elana situation.

"And I lost my job."

He froze while putting on a button down. He slowly turned towards me. "How? Why?"

"I missed a meeting this morning and she said if I wasn't at the office by eleven thirty then, poof, there goes my job." I look down at the ground. I felt worthless. I can't even hold a job.

Edward's mood softened and he placed his hands around mine, "How do you feel about it?"

"Pretty sucky. Jared didn't make it a pleasurable experience, I can tell you that." I mentally my head against the wall when I brought up Jared.

"Wha-What? He was there? Did he touch you?" Did he touch me? If you consider someone placing their body against yours touching. If you consider kissing touching. If you consider grabbing touching. Then yes. He did touch me. I look away from Edward's eyes, but he followed me wherever I looked.

"Bella, did he put his hands on you?"

I try not to look at his face but I failed, "You let him put his hands on you?" His face showed nothing but shock and disgust. I shook my head as I tried to keep myself from crying.

"No to what, Bella? You need to tell me!" He kept trying to search my eyes for any clues, but he found none. "What did he do, Bella?"

I shook my head again, "I didn't let him touch me." That's all I said. It was vague enough that Edward would think Jared didn't touch me.

Edward stayed silent as he thought about what I said to him. He repeated me, "You didn't let him touch you."

"No, I didn't let him touch me." I wish he would drop the subject. Revisiting being in the conference room with him was almost traumatic. He scared me more than I could imagine. He stripped away the confidence that I had and spat on it. I looked at Edward and seemed unconvinced. But he doesn't understand. I can't have him worrying. At least not about that. So I let him believe that is all that happened. I willed him to let it go. Just to let it go and hug me. And he did.

"Don't scare me like that again. Okay, Bella?" His voice was unsteady. He was obviously shaken up by the amount contact this man still had with me. I'm shaken up by the amount of contact this man will have with me. We lay in bed as we think about what happened. My head is on his chest. His heartbeat fills my head. The low rumble when he talks snaps me out of my reverie.

"What did you say?" His fingers play with mine.

"Are you going to look for another job?"

I sigh, "Yea. Hopefully I can get another one in the same field of work."

Edward doesn't seem too sold on the idea.

"Do you not like it?" I ask him.

He scratches his nose, "I mean whatever floats your boat. To be honest with you, you don't _have_ to work. The business is growing which means more money so you don't _have_ to work."

I never viewed myself as a stay-at-home wife. I scrunched my nose, "What would I do all day?"

He shrugged, "Watch daytime television and get fat?"

He's got to be kidding. I'll give him five seconds.

"I'm kidding, of course." Hmm…only took two. I placed my arm over him and I kissed his lips.

"I love you, Edward." He whispered he loved me as fervently kissed my lips. I straddle him while we're kiss and he props his legs up so I can lean back on them.

"You're beautiful, Bella." I smiled. He took off my shirt as I tried to unbutton his shirt. It wasn't the easiest task so he pulled both of the shirts over his head.

I teased him, "Now, now no sex, Edward! No sex!" He laughed loudly.

"Fuck her and her rules!" He squeezed my butt as I started to kiss him. He groaned in my mouth.

"Edward!" I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. That voice did not come from me.

"Damn you sound like…" The blood flow finally got to his other head and he realized who said his name. I rolled off of Edward and he sat in front of me so I was hidden from his mom.

"What are you doing?" Edward was alarmed.

Esme's eyes went back and forth between the two of us, "Obviously my rules aren't that important to you, Edward!" I ran my hand through my hair and looked for mine and Edward's shirt. This is so embarrassing.

"Mom, I'm an adult." Like she cares, Edward.

"So?" See? Told you. "I was coming up here to tell you guys we're leaving early." Esme swiftly turned around and started to walk away, but she paused. "Oh and when you're done disrespecting me; learn to close your door." She stormed out. I awkwardly hand Edward his shirts once I had mine on. I sat on the bed next to him and placed my hands in my lap.

"Bring on the blue balls," Edward sighed, got up from on the bed and walking into his bathroom. I was at a loss of words. I didn't know what to say or what to think of what just happened. The only thing I can think of is how uncomfortable lunch is going to be.

_To Be Continued_


	16. Game Changer

Listen To Words

Chapter 9

"Or Can It Get Worse Part 2"

I made sure that Edward walked down the stairs to where everyone was first. There was no way I was going to put myself in that position. For some reason Edward sauntered down the stairs like he had no care in the world. I looked at all the faces in the front room of the house while standing at the foot of the stairs. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Alice. Rosalie. No Jasper. It doesn't surprise me he wasn't there though. He said he was gone. He must true to his word. I couldn't linger on Alice's face too long. It was a classic poker face but there was something else there. I couldn't put my finger on it, though.

"Well, I'm ready." Edward obnoxiously put his sunglasses on, grabbed my hand, and we walked out to the car. "Get in," he ordered me. He started the car and just leaned his head against the headrest as we waited for everyone else to get into their cars. Silence. It filled the car and all I could hear was the laughter from Emmett as he and Rosalie got into his Range Rover. At least they were having a fun time.

Slowly one by one we all pulled out of the driveway. Edward closely followed behind Emmett making me nervous. God forbid Emmett making a quick stop. I looked at his face and he seemed calm. Better than before.

I placed my hand on top of his, "You okay?"

Glancing at me, "Yeah, I'm fine. I really didn't mean to snap at you. It's just that they get on my nerves."

I nodded my head. They get on mine, too, Edward. They get on mine, too. I remembered what Alice said to Edward last night. About how he was depressed. I wanted to ask him about it but something in my head told me not to ask it, that it would only lead into an argument but of course I didn't listen.

"How did you feel the days you left?" The words floated in the air between us. Almost putting a damper on the mood. No, almost isn't the right word. Immediately was better suiting.

"I was sad." I waited for him to say more, but he didn't.

I pushed further, "Alice said you were depressed."

He exhaled noisily, "I wasn't depressed, Bella."

I wanted him to tell me how he felt. What he was thinking. He's not telling me anything. "Then how were you feeling? What were you thinking about?"

He was becoming irritated again. It was a sensitive topic, but I needed to know. "You really want to know, Bella?" I nodded my head. "I was going to divorce you. I planned on never speaking to you again. I didn't want to look at you. I didn't even want to think of you." He let those words sink in. He was right. I didn't want to hear what he said. But that didn't stop him. "But the night that honestly changed my mind was when I came over for dinner. Seeing you again just changed everything that I had thought out those previous days." He looked at me and kissed my hand. "But don't think that I didn't know that guy was there, Bella."

This conversation was like a plane with one working engine. It was just doomed from the start. I wish I hadn't talked to him about this in the first placed. I was uneasy. I stared out of my window. "I could see his body through the door." I didn't make an effort to say one word.

He was persistent, "Why'd you let him in?"

I inwardly groaned. Why, Bella? Why'd you have to ask him. But this conversation is needed. He needs answers just like I needed my answers. "He kind of barged in. I opened the door thinking it was you and there he was. Before I knew it, he was inside."

"Hmm."

Silence. Again.

Finally after three streets, four turns, and two exits on the highway, yes I was counting, Edward broke the silence. "Are you happy, Bella?"

Am I happy? I'm ecstatic to be with him if that's what he means. "Happy as in…"

"Happy with me."

I was baffled. How could he…but then I remembered. I _did_ have sex with another man. "I'm on cloud nine just being with you again." He glanced at me but then looked back at the road. We hit traffic on the highway and we were moving painstakingly slow. The vibe in the car wasn't the most comfortable.

His voice was soft, "Why does he look like me?" His question confused me more than the last one.

I looked at him. His voice was louder this time, "He looks just like me, Bella."

Staring at my hands I tried to come up with an answer. I vaguely remembered the night. Or at least the specifics, but I knew no matter how drunk I was I wouldn't sleep with some random guy. I didn't want to talk about why I slept with Jared, but I'd have to tell him sometime. How do I word my answer? "I thought he was you."

His eyes narrowed as he took in my answer. "I honestly thought he was you. I'm sorry Edward. I…"

If I was in his position it would be a blow to my ego. My own wife couldn't even tell the difference between me and another man. Me and another _naked_ man. I hope this blows over soon. I can't take hurting Edward anymore. I just want to go home, go to sleep, and wake up from this nightmare.

Only if it was that easy.

We eventually got to the restaurant after Emmett took a few wrong turns. The car ride wasn't bad. We were both okay with the silence. Or from what I could tell we were both okay. Edward shut the car off and turned towards me. I placed my hand on his cheek. "I love you, even if you may think otherwise." We leaned towards each other and shared a kiss. All of a sudden loud banging from the driver side window broke us apart.

Emmett had his head smashed against the window, "We're here to eat food not each other's faces!"

I laughed at his goofiness. Edward yelled back, "Get your face off my window!"

Emmett left his face and we could see his tongue slowly coming out of his mouth. "No he is not." Edward quickly opened the door, knocking Emmett's nose.

"Damn, Edward! You always take things too far!" We stepped out of the car and I walked over to look at Emmett's face.

Edward defended himself, "No I don't. If you didn't lick my window, none of this would've happened." Edward took my hand and we walked into Macaroni Grill. "Plus, you're cleaning my window." Turns out Carlisle put us down for a reservation so we were able to be seated automatically. That's good because I haven't eaten since last night come to think of it.

I realized Alice rode with Carlisle and Esme rather than with Emmett and Rosalie. To be honest I didn't notice she was here until she sat diagonally across the table from me. She was oddly quiet. Emmett was on my left and Edward was sitting across from me. There was an empty seat next to me. I felt sort of ousted sitting next to an empty chair but Carlisle assured me that someone was coming. Esme didn't take one look at me since Edward and I last saw her. Neither did Alice. It's sort of okay but awkward at the same time. The small talk and chatter was sometimes disconnected since some of us weren't talking. I looked over at Edward and smiled at me. Apparently my discomfort was evident. He nudged my foot and cocked his head, silently asking me what's wrong. I slightly shook my head.

I'm still wishing the same thing.

I wish I never had sex with Jared.

But nothing will change.

I was in and out of the conversation. Mainly because I couldn't focus on it. I just kept thinking about Edward. And how he doesn't feel I'm happy to be with him. I don't want him to feel like he's not worth my time. I have to show him. Our waiter finally came and took our order. It was a young kid. Probably no older than nineteen. His eyes lingered on me longer than they should and it seemed the _entire_ table noticed. I adjusted my blouse and fixed my hair hoping to get rid of the attention. Edward was busy on his phone texting someone so he wouldn't have known what happened.

My mood was so-and-so. I wasn't feeling the vibe around the table and I definitely wasn't feeling the glances from Esme. So maybe I looked completely uninterested with the conversation, but at this point I didn't care. I was over today. Stirring my iced tea was the only thing that captured my attention.

Edward's hand wrapped around my shoulders and he kissed my cheek. He snapped me out of my thoughts. I missed quite a few things such as Edward getting up to sit beside to me and Jasper sitting in front of me. I pulled what little energy I had left and devoted it to having a nice lunch with the ever so loved _family._

Kenny, or at least that's what his name tag said, informed us that our food will be out in ten minutes. I looked at him wondering why someone would tell you ten minutes. Why not five?

"Thanks, man," Emmett answered. I took a sip of my drink. I think I'm going to need something stronger to get me through this lunch but I'm going to against my needs. I was tempted to call Kenny back and tell him to get the strongest drink back there, but I getting a drink would only instigate things.

Emmett turned towards me, "How you doing, Bella. I haven't heard much about you." Even though what he just said was a total lie. I admired the fact that he's trying to make conversation.

"I'm okay." I stopped talking. He continued to look at me expecting me to carry on.

His expression faltered and he leaned back from me, "Oh. That's good." I just nodded at him and drank some more of my tea. Rosalie, who was sitting across from him, gave him a questioning look and he just shrugged. Again I felt guilty. I shouldn't shut Emmett out just because I was having a _really_ crappy day. He was just trying to help.

"Emmett," He turned towards me, "don't take it personally. I've had a really… unpleasant day. It has sucked beyond belief." He slowly nodded his head.

"Yeah, well you can't let that keep you down. Find something good and focus on that. That's what I do."

Let's see. Find something good about today. Nope. Couldn't find anything. Nice try though Emmett. I genuinely smiled at him.

Esme spoke to the entire table, "Does anyone have good news?"

The table was quiet as everyone looked around. Jasper scratched his nose. Alice shifted in her seat. No one talked.

"Well, here's something good," Carlisle replied, "Tanya is down for the week." Edward's face immediately lit up.

"She is?"

Carlisle nodded his head, "Yes, she called me I think last Wednesday. She has a nursing conference in Seattle so she won't be with us long, but she's down here this week. I think she's leaving this Sunday."

Emmett pumped his fist in the air, "Time to party!" Edward laughed in response. I, personally, was confused, perplexed, puzzled, baffled, and downright befuddled on who this Tanya was. I've never heard of her. Ever. Not even when I was just _friends_ with Edward. I kept looking between Edward and Emmett.

"Who is Tanya?"

In no time Edward and Emmett started talking to me about whom she was, but I couldn't understand a single word they were saying. They were finishing each other's sentences, jumping to other topics, and just plain annoying.

I threw my hands up in the air, "Okay! Okay! I get it!"

Carlisle laughed, "She's a close family friend, Bella."

"Oh, okay." I smiled but as my eyes met with Esme's, it faded. She was cautiously watching me. What is this woman's problem?

Edward clued me in as well, "She's really cool, Bella. I'm sure you two will get along."

I hope we'll get along. I've never met or even heard of this chick. I mentally shook my head. If Edward says we'll get along, we will. Stop being so pessimistic, lighten up and put your best foot forward.

I smiled up at Edward, "Then I can't wait to meet her."

Esme stirred her drink, "Edward and Tanya have been friends for over…" she tapped her chin, "How long, Edward?"

"Eh…well since I was a kid."

Esme looked into my eyes, "They're really close, Bella. I'm surprised Edward hasn't told you about her. Why haven't you told her about Tanya?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "Time, I guess. After high school ended we just grew apart."

Was he _that_ oblivious to Esme's pestering?

Emmett spoke up, "Yeah, I remember when I left. All communication stopped. That's when the 'T Double E' became 'TE'. You guys kicked me out of my own group." Emmett jokingly glared at Edward. Edward causally shook it off.

Curiously looking at Edward's face I wondered how close he and Tanya actually were. Did we getting together pull him way from her? Does he miss her? Esme and Emmett made it seem like they were best friends not close friends.

Our food arrived and the rest of the dinner was pleasant, even with Esme's subtle downplays on our relationship. Once we got into the car my mood was ten thousand times better. Edward seemed happier, too.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him.

His eyes stayed on the road, "As in?"

"In general,"

"Happy, but I should really be asking about how you feel."

I cocked my head, "Why?"

"You seemed out of it in there. What's up?"

Finally, I can express how I really feel. I can tell him how his mom is slowly eating away at my patience. How she's meticulously planning the downfall of our marriage, but then something in the back of my head stopped me. I realized I can't continue to undermine the relationships he has with his family. I've done enough. I told myself that I don't show him that I love him and now is my turning point. I am going to accept his mother no matter how many times she takes a hit at me, I'm going to accept his two-faced sister who has been nothing but a fake, and I'm going to accept the other important woman in his life, Tanya, no matter how she is because that _is_ what a wife should do. That is what I'm going to do.

"Bella? Hello?" Maybe my pep talk took a little bit longer than I thought.

"I was just thinking about our talk in the car, but I'm fine now because we're ok."

He didn't say anything back. He just continued to drive so I decided to make some conversation.

"So we're going back to the house?"

He glanced my way, "Yeah, I mean, do you not want to?"

My heart dropped a little. Even after everything that's happened he still wants to stay? Why? I just don't get it.

"I don't understand, just two hours ago you said you couldn't stand being there and now you want to stay?"

"It's complicated, Bella."

I involuntarily squinted my eyes, "_Complicated._"

"You heard Carlisle, Tanya's here. I haven't seen her in probably five years, Bella."

"I know and I have no problem with you seeing her. She can come over to our house, for all I care, as long as you're there, too."

"Ok then we can go back to the house tonight."

I beamed with victory and turned my face out to my window.

"I know you smiling over there," He playfully grabbed my chin and then laced his finger in between mine. "It _is_ going to be nice to be in our own bed again." He smirked.

"It'll be nice to have our own privacy again,"

When all of us returned to the house everyone seemed to disperse.

I grabbed Edward's hand, "Come on, let's pack." He hesitated.

"Wait."

_What now?_

"Don't look at me like that." He smiled, "I have to go to work to check on something."

"Do you have to?"

He drew me into him, "Yes I have to, but I'll be back around eight and we can pack then."

_Eight?_ The number seemed to float around my mind and postpone time. He honestly expects me to be in this house, with no car, for four hours.

"How about I just pack our stuff?"

Shaking his head, "No, we have to tell my mom and dad that we're leaving tonight."

He was right. If this family situation was to get any better it would have to start now. With communication.

I tried to step back away from him but he held me against him, "You're not mad at me are you?"

"Mad? No, but I wish you didn't have to go, you know?"

"Yea, I know," He kissed my forehead and ran upstairs.

My time alone starts now. I could either twiddle my fingers and toes or do something the least productive. I eventually made my way out the backyard. Swimming would be great but of course I don't have a bathing suit. Only if I had my car, but a car would leave me too much temptation to escape. I sat on the edge, took of my heels, and dipped my feet into the water. A smile appeared on my face. Edward and I are back together. It's like a chant that makes my heart race.

"I have a bathing suit that you can use. Well, you left it here one summer."

My splashing feet froze as Alice spoke. I cautiously answered, "I wasn't planning on getting in," I turned around to look at her, "Thank you, though." I stared back at the water.

I heard her sit on the lounge chair near me. I assumed she was thinking. Of course I was thinking positive, she could be planning on kicking me in and drowning me but that idea is crazy.

Her voice was barely a whisper, "I'm sorry."

My eyes scrunched up, "What?"

"I'm sorry, Bella." I looked at her to see if she was shitting me. She wasn't. She was sincere, apologetic.

"Why are you saying this to me?"

"I've been thinking." She laughed darkly to herself, "I've been thinking a lot this past day."

I turned my attention to the stone waterfall.

"I had no right to interfere with you and Edward's relationship. It was infantile, insecure and I want to say I'm sorry."

"Okay."

Then there was silence. I didn't know how to take Alice apologizing to me. I didn't know what say, to feel, or even really to think. She caught me off guard.

"You're probably wondering why I am saying this and well," she paused, "Edward and I were always close, he's my twin, and well when he met you he automatically gravitated towards you. I felt abandoned to say the least. I didn't mean to conspire against, Bella. I didn't plan on being fake with you. I don't even remember when I stopped liking you and started hating you. I just felt left out in the dust by him."

"Why are you telling me this? Why not him?"

"Because he wants me and you to get along. He said he'd pick you over me due to my past breakouts."

He said he pick me over his sister? I slowly shook my head. He shouldn't be alienating himself away from his family for me. I need to patch things up with everyone. Alice's words clicked in my head.

"You're only talking to me so he'll talk to you again?" That's twisted.

Alice immediately backtracked, "No! I mean I care for Edward, and who Edward cares about, I care about, too."

I took my legs out of the water and stood up. Alice stood as well and handed me a towel that was placed behind her. "I figured you would need it."

I tentatively reached for the towel and dried off my legs. "Thanks." She sat down. I finally became conscious of what Alice and I have in common in this very moment. We're both trying to regain back the trust and love from the same man, except she has another man she has to worry about.

"I'm sorry about you and Jasper. If I hadn't-"

She cut me short, "No, Bella, don't take the blame. What he told me was true. I only have myself to blame on how things went down these past few days. This week, even."

I picked at the towel and thought. I tried to comprehend the fact that Alice had actually hated me all this time. "So from when to when were you being fake, Alice?"

Her head snapped towards me, "What do you mean?"

"My wedding, the engagement party, or just now; was it all fake?"

Her eyes softened, "No, Bella. It was real. I was genuinely happy for you guys. I _am_ genuinely happy for you guys. You guys getting back together shows that anything can happen really," she mumbled the last part. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. Those words should've never come out of my mouth let alone enter my thoughts. It was the little sister inside of me that was speaking, that believed no one was good enough to have her brother, when really it should've been the woman inside of me accepting what was happening. We all have to grow up sometime, right?" She chuckled to herself as she stood up. "I hope I made some sort of sense, Bella." She started to walk away.

Each step that she took, my mind tugged at me. I couldn't let her walk away thinking that I didn't accept her. "Alice, wait." She halted in front of the door, "I promised Edward that I'd accept him and everyone that is a part of his life is a part of mine. Plus I'd really love to go for a swim."

A small smile crept on her face and she opened the door, "Come on up, Bella."

Her room was almost exactly how I remembered it. A cute but sophisticated theme of violet, black and white fitted her personality. I could tell subtle differences, though. She had gotten an armoire to fit more of her clothes but as I looked closely most of was filled with Jasper's clothes. As I made the realization, I could see more of his stuff in the room. His guitar, his shoes, jackets, shirts, hats. Everywhere.

"Here it is. Do you think it will fit?"

"Yeah, I may be a little fit fuller,"

"Well, I'll let you change. I'm going to find Rosalie and then we can all get into the pool."

She left and her room was quiet. Reflecting on our last conversation, I can honestly say she's trying. I don't know if I can trust her though. She was ridiculous the last time she spoke or even the times before that. I'll keep my distance. I placed my bikini top on and, oh my goodness, my breasts were going to fall out. I guess in a good way?

Someone knocked on my door, "Are you changed?" Then someone burst in. Rosalie. She was wearing a black metallic one piece that exposed her stomach and back. She stopped in her tracks.

"Well I'll be. Look at this hot momma." I self-consciously placed my hand over my shoulder covering the top half of my body.

Alice stepped around her, "Wow, Bella you have definitely filled out."

We walked back out the pool and Alice turned on the fountains and lights. It looked beautiful out here. The sun was starting to set. Although it was a little chilly, she assured us that the water was heated.

Rosalie walked over on top of the stone waterfall, "This water better be warm, Cullen."

Alice laughed as she dived into the water.

Walking away to set the towels down she said, "I'm so dead." In seconds Rosalie shot up from under the water shivering and yelling.

"What the fuck? It's freezing in here!"

Alice burst out laughing, "And? I didn't tell you to go jump in the water."

Rosalie got out of the water and it was like a movie. The way the water dripped off her was almost erotic. My self-esteem took another hit. She quickly snatched Alice and she threw both of them in the water. I flinched from the cold water droplets that hit my skin. It was amusing to see the two of them fighting. They were like best friends. That made me think again. Who _is _Rosalie?

"Bella, come in the water!" Rosalie waved me in.

I stepped to the edge of the stone, "Are you sure it's warm?"

She laughed, "Just come in!"

I jumped in and my body was welcomed by the calming warm water. We swam for awhile talking about each other's lives, what we do for a living. It was nice to have a chat with girls. Something I haven't been able to do in awhile.

I decided to ask Rosalie, "Who are you anyways?"

She adjusted her top and scrunched her eyebrows, "What?"

"I mean, who are you? I've never met you before,"

Alice swam over to us, "You've met her before. Remember at the party? We all had drinks at the bar before we left."

That night. "Sorry, I don't remember much from that night."

Rosalie snorted, "Well you _were_ drunk off your rocker, but I'm Emmett's girlfriend."

I danced inside. So she's not single. She's not here for Edward. "Wow. I thought you had a thing for Edward with what happened earlier today."

She laughed, "I'm sorry about that. I can totally understand how you felt. It looked…"

"Wha-What happened?" Alice, clueless, looked around.

"Bella walked in to me giving Edward a massage. Nothing to worry about, really." A smile spread on her face, "But if I were you I'd be worried about another girl." Alice playfully hit Rosalie's arm.

"Don't say it like that."

My eyes darted between the two of them, "Who?"

Alice floated to the shallow end and sat down in the water, "Tanya, but really, Bella, don't be worried."

Rosalie and I followed her, "Why should I be worried? They're friends, right?"

Rosalie mumbled, "Friends with benefits," Alice shot daggers at Rosalie. "I'm just kidding. Let's just say that Tanya is more of a guys' girl."

A guys' girl.

"So I shouldn't be worried?"

Alice turned towards me, "Honestly, Bella? He's married to you. Why would he give up those jugs for some ugly blonde?" She jokingly laughed. I tried to laugh but my mind was racing. What if Tanya could pull Edward away from me?

Rosalie came up beside me, "Don't worry about it. I've met her before, she isn't all that."

"Has she and Edward dated?"

Alice looked up in thought, "Probably back in high school or something. Maybe middle school? I don't remember."

"Oh." So this Tanya could be Edward's ex. Edward's ex that has the heart of the whole family. What did I get myself into?

"Why are you so threatened by her?" I looked up at Rosalie. "You haven't even met her. Don't worry about her until she's physically here. If she's not physically here, she technically doesn't exist. Therefore you have no problems."

I slightly smiled, "True, but I told Edward that she could come over anytime."

Both their smiles faded, "Well then she'll probably spend every waking moment with Edward. That's what she did when she came to visit Emmett." Rosalie patted me on the back, "Good luck, chickie. Do you guys want to watch a movie? It'll pass time."

We watch _Hitched_. It was an enjoyable comedic romantic movie. It was oddly what I needed to take my mind off of Tanya. Which reminds me, Edward is supposed to be back by now. Alice was silently crying as she ranted about how stupid Alex was. My mind faded as I tried to think of the time.

"Alice, what times is it?"

She stopped talking and looked at her phone, "A quarter to nine, but listen if Alex didn't take her to Ellis Island…"

I stopped listening. A quarter to nine? Edward should be home by now. He _did_ say eight. I mumbled something to them and quickly made my way upstairs to Alice's room where my phone was.

No new messages.

I stared, mystified, at my phone imagining where Edward could be. Should I call him?

_No. he's probably caught up at work._

What if something happened?

_Highly unlikely. _

Maybe I should just check?

_No, give him his space. _

I placed my phone back on the dresser and stepped back. I must have been so focused on the phone that I didn't hear Rosalie calling my name.

"You okay?"

My body jumped. "Um…yes, I'm fine."

She stared at me doubtfully. "Are you sure you're _fine_?"

I fessed up, "Edward was supposed to be back an hour ago."

She stared at me as I looked back at her, "And?"

I suddenly felt stupid again, "…and I was thinking of calling him?"

She snickered, "Grow a backbone girl. He's not here, so what?"

"Well…" I struggled to speak, "he promised me that we were going to leave tonight."

"Do you not want to stay here?"

This is coming out wrong, "No, well, yes. I mean, I don't even have clothes for tonight let alone tomorrow. I don't have my car."

Rosalie placed her hands on my shoulders, "Stop freaking out. I can take you over to your house if you really want me to."

"No, it's okay. I'll just call him." I grabbed my phone and we went back into the family room where Alice was sitting on the couch.

Rosalie informed Alice, "Edward's gone AWAL. Bella's going to find out what's up."

"Don't say it like that, Rosalie." I dialed his number.

First ring.

Second ring.

Third ring.

Fourth ring.

"Edward Cullen is unavailable right now, but it'd be great if you leave your name and number and-"

I hung up.

Rosalie's eyes were sympathetic, "Call again, maybe he didn't hear it?"

He must have not heard it three more times. The fourth time I called, the call was ignored.

I put my head in my hands. I felt Alice place her arms around me, "Bella, you can't let this get to you. He could be in a meeting. He said the business was growing."

"I know he's at work and you guys are right. This shouldn't be getting to me. Rosalie, can you take me home?"

Alice froze looking at me, "You're leaving just like that?"

Rosalie held a hand out for Alice, "No, I'm just taking her home for her to get her car. You're coming, too."

"Well, we'll help you pack."

Within half an hour, we were out of the house. Anything and everything about Edward was running through my mind. I couldn't understand why he had ignored my calls.

"So this is where Edward and Bella Cullen live." She pulled into our driveway and parked near the front door.

We walked upstairs and I was happy that I had cleaned the house before Edward came over. Placing my bags on the bed Rosalie walked into my side of the closet, "Damn."

"I know, she has tons of clothes," Alice followed in after Rosalie. I could follow them. We could go over all of my dresses, blouses, skirts, shoes, and sandals. But I sat on the bed lost in a train of thought. I'm sure Edward will notice I'm gone. Then he'll call and ask where I am. I took the clothes out of my bag and placed them in the hamper. I saw clothes of Edward's in there from last week. Might as well do some laundry. Some more time passed, and I asked if Alice and Rosalie would like to stay. I made them food and we all ate. I enjoyed hanging out with them. It was calming, careless, almost as if I was a teenager again. I could say anything and they would understand.

When we finished our food, Alice made her way to the family room. "Want to watch something?"

Rosalie piped up, "As long as we're not watching Lifetime, I'm good." She turned towards me, "Never watch Lifetime with her. It's a death wish."

I laughed as Alice pouted, "_Mimi's First Time_ is the best movie ever, though."

"No Lifetime." Rosalie was stern. As she flipped through the channels, I looked at the overhead clock.

_10:41. _Nothing from Edward.

I can't let this get to me. It's probably nothing, "What's so bad about that movie?" Might as well enjoy myself. Rosalie was right. So what if Edward wasn't here?

Rosalie glared at Alice, "She's convinced that the girl, Mimi, looks just like me."

Alice laughed, flipping through more channels, "She seriously looks like a brown haired younger version of Rosalie."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

After three episodes of _Cake Boss_ and an episode of _Big Cat Diary_, Rosalie and Alice called it a night.

Rosalie stood up, "I'm sorry, Bella, but this 'Wait for Edward' plan is cutting into my beauty sleep. Call us when he gets home?"

I stared at the black screen of the TV. It's nearly one in the morning and Edward isn't here.

Sighing, "Thanks, you guys. Really."

I let them out the house and slowly closed the door. The small click echoed in the empty house. Loneliness, we meet again, dear friend. Making my way to the kitchen table, I thought about how I really don't have friends. It's almost as if when I met Edward I ditched all the friends I had in college and replaced them with Edward. I wonder if that's how it was for him. No, he has friends. He hangs out with them all the time, we go to their parties, weddings. I place my hands on my head.

I need to get a life.

Outside of Edward.

Of course this thinking could be brought on by the sudden ditching of Edward but everything happens for a reason. I'll call him _one_ more time.

There was loud music in the background and people screaming, "Hello?"

"Edward?"

Loud static filled my ears and I heard a woman's voice calling Edward's name. She said something that caused him to laugh. "Hello?"

I tried speaking up, "Edward, where are you?"

Again he didn't answer. It was clearly evident that this conversation was going nowhere.

"Bella? I'm sorry…came in…before I…we went…I'm…call…I…she's…over…"

My eyes fluttered as I attempted to comprehend the mangled sentence. The music was so loud that his voice was drowned out at times.

"What?"

Edward yelled louder, "Bella, I can't hear you!"

"No shit, Sherlock!" I honestly meant to say that in my head.

"Are..mad?"

I was frustrated, "Edward, you call me when you actually give a crap, okay?"

More static and mangled voices, "What?"

I hung up. What the hell? The only thing this so-called conversation did was make me mad. Mad because my husband who was supposedly working is at some freaking bar when he should've been home five hours ago. I stormed up to our room and I slammed the door. Needles to say I did it just for the heck of it because his ears were been flooded by stupid rave music. I threw back the covers, popped inside, and I let myself stew in the bed waiting for him to return. As my anger subsided my body succumbed to the sleep that washed over me.

Two short hours later, I was jolted awake by the alarm going off. My body tensed and immediately relaxed as I remembered it was Edward. Groggily, I turned to the alarm clock to the see the time and instantly I wanted to smash it.

_3:47 AM_

Freaking three in the morning. I made an effort to remember that I'm a good wife. An understanding wife. A livid wife who wants some answers. There's no reason that he should be coming home at basically four in the morning without giving me some sort of heads up. I flew down the stairs but halted as I heard him talking to someone. A girl someone. If this is some sick way of getting back at me…

The girl's voice rang through the house, "It looks stellar in here! Looks like I taught someone well."

Think again, chick, 'cause I designed most of the house. From the wall colors, to the floors, and even to light switch plates so hit me with your next best shot. Edward's voice was faint as he mumbled something in response.

"She did? Oh, is she here?" I heard the moving of some bags and then Edward exhaling.

"Why do you have all this shit anyways?" Laughing she softly said something. This was my time. My grand entrance was now.

"What the hell, Edward?" His eyes snapped at me as I walked up to him and a busty blonde. I looked her up and down. She was wearing low-rise jeans with a white tank top. Her breasts were practically spilling out of her shirt and I highly doubt they're even in her bra.

"Bella, don't be mad…"

I perched an eyebrow, "Don't be mad? Okay, I'll try to be calm when I'm just now seeing my husband nearly six hours after he said he'd be back. I mean, what do you even do during that time?"

He walked up to me and placed his hands on my arms, "Bella, listen to me. I'm sorry I didn't call you. I got wrapped in with things at work…" His voice was hushed so the busty blonde couldn't hear him.

I raised my voice, "Really at work, huh? Well it was nice of you to tell me that you were going to be late. I'm so glad that you didn't mind leaving me at your parent's house without any fucking way home. I am so glad that you were thinking tonight, Edward. What happened to 'Let's tell my parents that we're leaving tonight'?" The entire time he was saying my name over and over again but I wasn't having it. Finally he shook me making me stop yelling. I stared at him as he frantically looking between my eyes.

"Bella, I'm trying to tell what happened. Can you just listen?" He was visibly frustrated, as well.

Good so we're now on the same page, "No. How about next time, when you want to come home in the wee hours of the morning, you do it without bringing home some random girl?"

Ms. Busty Blonde was awkwardly standing there with her hands in her back pockets peeking at me.

"Bella, that's Tanya." His voice was low but sharp. The words sliced me across the face making me gasp at the realization. "I got wrapped up with things at work, but then she called asking to meet up. I'm sorry, I lost track of time."

Shitty me stood there looking between Edward and Tanya. She walked up to Edward and placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on her chest. "I'm sorry I dragged him away. It's just I haven't seen him in so long." She breathlessly laughed.

I put on a fake smile, "Oh Tanya, don't take the entire blame. It takes two to tango." I swiftly turned around and made my way to the stairs. Halfway up I turned to them, "Oh one more thing. I'm assuming since you have bags you're going to be staying here so make yourself at home. I'm sure Edward will show you around." I stormed up the stairs and slammed the door. This time I'm sure he heard it.

I was fuming. Fuming while sitting in my dark bedroom. I shouldn't be like this right now. This is stupid. I shouldn't be mad, but I am. He just brings her without calling me acting like she's a bag of fresh peaches. Does he expect me to be all happy that the first day of us being back home together gets to be shared with his ex-girlfriend? If he does he's got another thing coming because I'm not. I'm neither happy nor satisfied how tonight has gone. We're supposed to be _progressing_ but this 'friend' is _not_ going to help. I sat there for a good thirty minutes before the door flew open and slammed shut.

"Bella." He was enraged.

But no matter how mad he was I didn't acknowledge him.

"Bella, look at me." I continued to stare at the mirror in front of our bed. He placed himself in front of my eyes. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't know. Where's your friend?" I cocked my head at him.

"You're really going to have a stupid attitude about this?"

Stupid attitude, huh? "I think I asked a normal question."

He stared at me, "She's sleeping."

I stared back at him. A staring match. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. I sarcastically smiled as he exhaled loudly, "What is your problem, Bella?"

Whoa. Déjà vu. "I think I've stated what was wrong. You said you'd be back at eight. It's four in the morning, Edward. What were you even doing with her?"

His mouth parted as he paced across the room, "You doubt me now? If you remember I never did anything with someone else, Bella." His voice escalated.

It was a low blow. He got what he wanted: To hurt my feelings. My emotions amplified, "You're going to call me out on that? How many times do I have to say it, Edward? I had sex with him. I did. If you want me to say I enjoyed it, I can't, because I don't remember. I don't know what else you want from me." My lip quivered as I looked at him. I don't know how I can prove to him that it was a mistake. I can't take back what I've done, but he doesn't have to shove it in my face. A tear escaped my eye and I turned away from him. We both stood in silence.

He softly spoke, "I got off of work at nine. Tanya called me saying she was in town and that she wanted to grab a bite. I forgot that you were at my parents' house. We ate, walked in Seattle, saw a movie, we went to a local bar. I'm sorry I forgot about you. It's just that I got wrapped up. I'm sorry."

I couldn't speak. I felt guilty to say the least. Guilty because here I am thinking he's out with some other girl and I'm the one that cheated on him. This isn't going to work with it hanging over my head. Shaking my head I wiped my eyes.

He spoke louder, "I know it's not the best way to introduce her to you but I was hoping you'd understand." His words hung in the air around me but not once did they enter my ears. I made my way to the bed and slipped under the covers. He sighed heavily and slammed the bathroom door shut. Water poured down my face now that I was alone. Sleeping with Jared has ruined everything. Me, Edward, our relationship, my job status. It may have taken a long time but I think I'm starting to realize that the situation is beyond repair. Edward eventually came out of the bathroom and into the bed. Awkward couldn't even describe how it felt. Seconds felt like hours as he tried to get comfortable. I was facing away from him towards the window, staring at it. Almost trying to imagine what the outside looks like right now. I was lost in my imagination until I felt warmth on my back. Slowly his hand crept around my waste and his body slid up behind mine. I could feel his breath on my neck.

"I'm sorry," His voice was barely a whisper.

My eyes stayed on the window, "I've had a long day, Edward." I pushed his hand off of my body and scooted closer to the edge of the bed.

"Bella…"

I cut him off, "Honestly it's not you, it's me."

He stayed quiet for awhile. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Good question. What _is_ it supposed to mean? My words could mean anything. I didn't know what they meant. I didn't even know what they were implying. And for some odd reason, I don't think I wanted to know.


End file.
